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Posted: 10/12/2005 2:03:36 PM EDT
So I get this call from a lady.  Well actually her BF.  He says she is in so much pain she need meds like now.  So I tell her he needs to take her to the hospital.  He says she doesnt have a ride and I need to call in a script.  So I ask how in the hell is she going to pick it up from the drug store?  He says he will arrange something. He also says that Vicoden is too weak and that she needs something much stronger. So I ask him why doesnt he arrange for her to go to the ER since its closer then the drugstore?  No answer there. I never did even get to talk to the patient.  

Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:04:46 PM EDT
i assume you didnt fill it for them?
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:06:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Anteverius:
i assume you didnt fill it for them?



You sir are a genius!
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:06:48 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
So I get this call from a lady.  Well actually her BF.  He says she is in so much pain she need meds like now.  So I tell her he needs to take her to the hospital.  He says she doesnt have a ride and I need to call in a script.  So I ask how in the hell is she going to pick it up from the drug store?  He says he will arrange something. He also says that Vicoden is too weak and that she needs something much stronger. So I ask him why doesnt he arrange for her to go to the ER since its closer then the drugstore?  No answer there. I never did even get to talk to the patient.  



Lol, thats not even a good try!


Originally Posted By Anteverius:
i assume you didnt fill it for them?


uh, no
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:08:40 PM EDT
Ever thought of calling in a placebo just for giggles?  Or would that get you into problems with the Medical Lincensing board?
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:15:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Forest:
Ever thought of calling in a placebo just for giggles?  Or would that get you into problems with the Medical Lincensing board?



Its funny you say that.  There was patient that came to the ER and said she was having seizures.  The ER doc hooked up an IV and started to give her saline.  She stopped having seizures.  Oh by the way she was in the process of getting a ticket and arrested for 5 suspended licenses.  How they can suspend a license thats already been suspended is beyond my comprehension.   But anyway she was trying to keep from going to jail.  She pretended she was having a seizure and the LEOs brought her in.  

The ER doc told her he was giving her antiseizure medication and she stopped shaking.  How about that.  The LEOs hauled her ass off to jail.

Another chick pregnant got pulled over.  She told the LEOs they were making her go into preterm labor and that she was going to sue their asses.  They bring her to the hospital and we put her in a room.  The LEO is standing guard at the door.  The nurse walks in and the window is open and she is gone!  We had her clothing in bag so she was just wearing one of those hospital gowns.  She called someone to pick her up because they never caught her.  The LEO in question was not happy about having to face his fellow officers.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:22:19 PM EDT
Oh I love those.  I get them literally a few times a week.

Several years ago there was an NSAID (Advil family, non-narcotic) called Duract (since removed from the market ) that was heavily promoted as being "as tough on pain as 2 percocets"  They had product ads in a lot of magazines.  Whenever I got a bogus narcotics request , I would tell the "patient" Oh, you're in luck there is something even stronger than Percocet, I'll call it in for you, and laugh my ass off for the next hour or so.  I miss that drug.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 2:22:48 PM EDT
Sounds like the fake burglary calls I get.

"My house was broken into"  (No broken or forced doors/windows and nothing disturbed except the pain meds are missing.)



"My doctor needs a crime report to refill my medication"

Are any of your other medications missing?

"No, just my vicodin."

I noticed this is the second burglary in a month...

"Yes, last time they took my meds and some DVDs"




Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:23:34 PM EDT
I just love the doctor and cop stories.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:29:55 PM EDT

Originally Posted By ARDOC:
Another chick pregnant got pulled over.  She told the LEOs they were making her go into preterm labor and that she was going to sue their asses.  


Our traffic guys have a standard response for that situation.  They give the woman a choice, sit there and wait while he writes to ticket or he can call an ambulance to transport her to the hospital at her expense.  They both cost about the same and it lets them assume the liability by making their choice.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:32:32 PM EDT
Hey ARDOC, want to write me a script for Vikodin? I have a sore throat
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:38:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
Hey ARDOC, want to write me a script for Vikodin? I have a sore throat



I thought it was your belly that was giving you problems.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:39:12 PM EDT
My wife's pain management doc gets those all day.  I can be sitting in the waiting room and spot the shoppers.

Last time This strung out guy who acted all hurting would perk up after the nurse went back to talk to the doctor.   He gave the guy a script in doctorese for standard OTC Tylenol After making the guy prepay for his 2 hour office visit.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 3:44:25 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/12/2005 3:45:35 PM EDT by pale_pony]
We nailed a numb-skull a few years back on Tulsa District Court case #CF-2001-1912 for calling-in his own prescriptions to Drug Warehouse. Apparently his wife was an ex-RN (nursing license revoked) who knew the proper protocols and had a clinic's DEA number. I had videotape of him calling in a refill FROM A PAYPHONE at the corner of Sheridan and King in Tulsa that coincided with the time that the scrip refill was called in.

We caught up with him at the drive-thru window at Drug Warehouse, chased him down Sheridan to I-244 and then had to call for an OHP trooper to PIT his sorry ass off of the highway. He wasn't going to stop for anyone.
Link Posted: 10/12/2005 4:23:53 PM EDT
My car got broken into and they stole my pills.

I threw my old Rx away because I wasn't hurting that day.

I left them 200 miles away in a hotel room/friend's house.

I knocked them down the sink/toilet.

I'm allergic to Darvocet, Codeine, Ultram, NSAIDS.

Hydrocodone is like taking water.

Percocet usually works OK.

The ER gave me something that starts with a "D".  Demerol?  No.  Dilaudid?  Yeah, that's it!

What's your pain level, 10 being worst?  Answer ranges from 11-40.

And finally, "I have a really high pain tolerance!"
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