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Posted: 5/22/2005 9:09:56 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2005 10:56:05 AM EDT by Redcap]
I was at a large party (500+ people) last night on a friend's farm complete with all the music, fighting, fucking and drinking you'd expect from a function that size. However, that is beside the point. As the night wound down and sunrise approached, a lot of the people had left, passed out or were puking and the massive bonfire collapsed into a mound of coals 5 feet tall, my brother began the toasts to those still there, conscious and drinking. Here are a few of the good ones from various drunks:

Here's to heat! Not the kind that brings down shacks and shanties, but the kind that brings down bras and panties.

Here's to honor. To gettin' on her. To stayin' on her. And if I can't cum in her, I'm cummin' on her.

Here's to sleeping triple, seeing double, living single, and testing negative.

May your coffin be made of a 100 year old tree planted tomorrow.

Be good.
If you can't be good, be careful;
And if you can't be careful,
Name it after me.

A man may kiss his wife goodbye,
The rose may kiss the butterfly,
The wine may kiss the frosted glass,
And you, my friends, may kiss my ass.

And here are the two my drunken Irish ass bellowed, which ended the night and dispersed the remaining crowd to their respective vehicles, initiating the convoy down winding backroads into civilization:

Raise 'em up!
May you quietly slip through the gates of heaven fifteen minutes before the devil knows you are dead.

Raise 'em up!
Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, may you steal a woman's heart.
If you fight, may you fight for a brother.
And if you drink, may you drink with me.

Which brings me to the question at hand: what are your favorite toasts?

Link Posted: 5/22/2005 9:27:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2005 9:28:11 AM EDT by FLAL1A]
To absent friends and better days.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 9:36:15 AM EDT
Over the lips
and down the throat,
heres hoping you don't wake up next to a goat.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 9:36:33 AM EDT
Here's to you, Here's to me, Best friends that could ever be.
If we ever disagree, Fuck you, here's to me!
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:14:40 PM EDT
Keep 'em coming, guys!
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:20:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/22/2005 7:28:08 PM EDT by ISED8U]
An old Irish toast:

There are large ships.
There are small ships.
There are ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships are our friendships,
and may they always be.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:24:36 PM EDT
Here's to the breezes
That blow through the treezes
And lift the chemises
From off ladies kneezes
And shows us what prickles
And tickles, and teases
And gives us diseases
By Jesus!

Many more can be found HERE.

Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:24:58 PM EDT
Tagnum PI
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:28:18 PM EDT
Heres to the breezes
that blows through the trees
and lift the skirts above the knees
and exposes the spot that teases, pleases and spreads diseases

Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:29:19 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 7:29:54 PM EDT
Here's to us when we sit and ponder and think...

And here's to us when we party carouse and drink...

But - when my partying days are over - and they plant me under the grass -

I hope they bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass!!!!
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:28:03 PM EDT
A long and bloody war (An old English toast which suggest death in the upper ranks and quick promotions).
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:32:36 PM EDT
Here's to those that wish me well - everyone else can go to hell!

Through the lips, over the tongue - look out liver, here it comes.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:39:32 PM EDT
heres to the one we love the best. we love her best when she's undressed and when shes dead and not forgotten we'll dig her up and shag her rotten.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:40:37 PM EDT
Almost forgot. Heres to fair winds and following seas. Old sailors toast, said to a shipmate who is going on patrol or PCS, or whatever.
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:41:06 PM EDT


Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:50:27 PM EDT
Uh, by the time I want to toast something, I'm not that coherent.

"Everyone...EVERYONE!!! Hello...I'm talking (hic)...I just want to make a toast....(hic)...to......oh shit, my glass is empty.....(hic)...."
Link Posted: 5/22/2005 8:54:51 PM EDT
Here's to wifes and sweethearts... ...may they never meet!
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 6:45:25 AM EDT

Originally Posted By GabbasaurusRex:
Uh, by the time I want to toast something, I'm not that coherent.

"Everyone...EVERYONE!!! Hello...I'm talking (hic)...I just want to make a toast....(hic)...to......oh shit, my glass is empty.....(hic)...."

Not much Irish, eh?
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 6:52:37 AM EDT

Sláinte chuig na fir, agus go maire na mná go deo!
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 6:59:01 AM EDT

Originally Posted By BayEagle:
Sláinte chuig na fir, agus go maire na mná go deo!

my favorite so far
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 8:04:18 AM EDT
Here's to the women we love. Here's to the women that love us. If the women we love don't love us, fuck the women and here's to us.
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 8:18:28 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/23/2005 8:23:37 AM EDT
Here's to the girl in the little red shoes,
She likes her liquor and she likes her booze,
She lost her cherry, but that's no sin,
She's still got the box that it came in.

Here's to the box!

Link Posted: 5/23/2005 8:45:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/23/2005 8:46:22 AM EDT by xinflt]
Here's to us and those like us
and those who wish to be!

Link Posted: 5/23/2005 8:53:59 AM EDT
Here's to a long life
and a happy one.
A pretty gal
and a true one.
A stiff drink,
and another one.

(I gotta remember some of these)
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