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Posted: 8/15/2007 1:31:29 AM EDT
' pretty much like the title reads....a question for you guys (AND Ladies) about some of the people you've been romantically involved with over the years.

Do you ever dream about (REALLY) old flames and then wake-up sad and missing them to the point that your whole day is pretty much "Shot-to-shit" because you find yourself thinking about them all day and second guessing your decision to end the relationship (OR...having HER end it on you)..?

I live with a WONDERFUL LADY who's been my best-friend for years now and who I'd do just about anything for if she asked. She's the most beautiful Woman I've ever been lucky enough to be involved with and I'm still amazed daily that she has anything to do with me AND finds me a valuable part of her life.

That said, I was in a "SICK" (She used affection to get sex and I used sex to get affection...Pretty much the opposite of how relationships work with men and women) relationship for years with another Lady that ended (By my own choice) many years ago but that I STILL dream about once or twice a month (Usually when I'm sleep-deprived [As I am now]).

I have these horrible dreams where we (My old flame and I) reconcile and everything works-out and then....I wake-up and realize that THAT'S never going to happen

The dreams open-up that old scab and makes me feel like it all (The end of the relationship) just ended yesterday.........(Which sucks about as much all these years later as it did at the time!).....The Lady I live with now has gotten hip to it after all these years and always gives me a big hug and a kiss and says...."AWWW...You had a Linda [The subject of the dream] dream last night didn't you?" (She's the BEST!)

Anyway..I'm just curious if any of you other folks do the same stuff or....am i just nuts...???

Poll inbound.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 1:42:23 AM EDT
Not anymore.

A decade cures a lot.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 1:44:24 AM EDT
She never loved you.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 1:49:51 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2007 1:50:04 AM EDT by tyman]
You have no idea. Especially with the quality of girls these days that are in colleges.

I havent met anyone even remotely close to her.

Btw, I hadnt thought about her for a while, thanks for bringing it up.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:02:08 AM EDT
Yup.

Had one over 10 years ago. We'd known each other as coworkers but there was nothing at all but the "Hi, how are you?" type of interaction.

Somehow we drifted into being friends. A bit more time and I realized there was more going on beneath the surface.

By the time the light bulb came on there was a lot mutually unspoken between us just simmering, waiting for one of us to do something about it, I'd waited too long and someone else swept in from nowhere and she was gone.

She was funny, confident, intelligent all hidden away behind a California surfer-chick body to die for and a mop of blond hair. (she really was a surfer too )

I doubt we would have lasted too long, but it would have been one hell of a ride while it did.

It did teach me to be absolutely up front about my feelings for someone as soon as I figure them out. To say how how you feel, what you want clearly, no games, no bullshit and being told "No" is far less painful than living with the "What if?" the rest of your life.

I still dream (and daydream) of her at least once a week
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:03:29 AM EDT
It really sounds like you two had a text book codependency relationship going on. You are much better off.

The only thing I miss about "the one that got away" was her fantastic body. THAT I still dream about,the rest of her was as crazy as a shithouse rat.

Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:23:42 AM EDT
Nope. Next question.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:23:57 AM EDT
Used too. A little. Never was obsessed. Married now.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:37:13 AM EDT
She didn't get away, we're married.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 2:59:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 3:16:01 AM EDT
Yep, after more than 25 years I still dream at least once a month about my high school sweetheart. I've been married 17 years, she has (to someone else, lol) for 20 or so. My wife and I have had our problems, but she's always stayed by my side and even waited on me hand & foot for the last 2 weeks after my surgery.

Why in the hell I would dream about the old flame is beyond me, but hell yes - I STILL do. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over?
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:00:02 AM EDT


Yes, I'd say a little bit of "What if/remember when" daydreaming is normal.

At some point, you shared some sort of bond with someone of the opposite sex, and I don't think it's unnatural to reflect back on that. Hell, I still think about my kindergarten "sweetheart" now and then.

For the record, I'm incredibly happily married (almost 9 years) to my college sweetheart. We dated for 8 years before that. I wouldn't have any issue with her daydreaming either.

That all said, I don't think obsessing over any ex is healthy...
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:04:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2007 4:05:43 AM EDT by Dr-G]
No - I'm happy with my wife and wouldn't trade her for anything!

Told in another thread "Exs are Exs for a reason!"

ETA- Who else would put up with my crap!
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:10:33 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/15/2007 8:41:54 PM EDT by Surf]
My best friend through university during which we both grew up. One day years later we had a morning of "everything but". This was during my period of "higher morals" and if I had been past that, she may have been Mrs. Surf. I thought that I had missed my chance for years.

So fast forward years later, I met someone who far surpassed any and all of Surf's expectation. Life works out that way. Sometimes those that slip away are meant to.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:26:24 AM EDT
I recently started having lots of dreams of my highschool sweetheart, I think it's because I recently found his and his wifes myspace webpage with all kinds of pictures of their wedding and their kids. Very wierd. I was devistated when he broke it off with me but years later he was no longer my type and we are just friends. These dreams mess with my head though, I hope they stop soon.

I did have one love after that who I dream of on occassion too who I still love to death and wish things could have worked out. But we are just friends and have seperate lives now.

Plus I met the sweetest man and we have been in love pretty much since the day we met, he is so good to me and puts up with my shit so I feel lucky and am happy.

But yes, I do dream and get sad about the 2 loves I had that didn't work out.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:36:57 AM EDT
Nope...they're exes for a reason.
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:37:10 AM EDT
don't have any that I wished I would have stayed with.

Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:42:58 AM EDT
Well there was "Something About Mary"....
Link Posted: 8/15/2007 4:44:40 AM EDT
I dated a girl for a little less than two years and it has been six years since our break-up and I just had a dream about her last night and despite my best intentions do think about her a lot. I'm currently living with my now girlfriend of four years and have no plans to even talk to my ex, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about her.

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