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Posted: 6/13/2009 8:52:05 PM EST
I live in a 30-home subdivision in one of the more rural cities in King County, Washington. My wife & I have been living here for nearly six years and pretty much keep to ourselves. It's a nice little place to live.

The very first time we came through here, we were house-shopping. I saw a decorative sign at the entrance to this subdivision and the first thought to come to mind was "Home Owners' Association". Upon further research, it was determined that one did not exist.

Back when this place was built, supposedly an HOA was to have been established by the developer. That did not happen.

For well over five and a half years, all was peachy.

Towards the latter half of last month, one of the neighbors (the neighborhood busybody) took it upon herself to determine that the entrance sign to the subdivision was old and no longer serviceable. She came door-to-door and told everyone that she got an estimate to replace the carved & painted wooden sign with one made from stone. My wife answered the door, I was out of sight in the kitchen eating lunch but was able to hear every syllable. She told my wife that the cost per household was to be $100 and a new entrance sign would not only improve our property values but inspire everyone to maintain their yards better. My wife rebutted with a reference to a house close to the entrance to our subdivision that is very unkempt. There's grass growing out of control, competing with blackberries, boarded-up windows and some roof shingles missing from the nearly 20-year-old house. That's when Ms. Busybody told my wife that she's approached the city and county about getting that house condemned. Since we don't have an HOA, Ms. Busybody said that if everyone in the neighborhood got onboard a petition, we could get the house condemned and have the property turned into a park.

My wife told her that she needed to discuss the matter with her husband (me) and they parted ways. I told my wife that I heard all and said, "Do we really need to spend three grand on a fucking rock?" That's all it took to convince my wife to see things my way.

About a week later, while I was at drill with my ANG unit, Ms. Busybody returned with the following flier. I copied it straight from Adobe (I scanned it). Yes, this crazy woman believes one ought to capitalize every single word in the English language.

Hi REDACTED Residents!
I Had The Pleasure Of Speaking With Some Of You In The Past Few Days
About Our Entrance Sign. In Case I Missed You I Would Like To Explain What
Will Be A Group Effort In Replacing And Landscaping 'The Front Of Our
Development. Not Only Will This Improve The Look Of The Neighborhood
Upon Entrance To The Development, It Will Improve Our Home Value Making
It A More Desirable Place To Live And Beautify Our Neighborhood And
Establish Pride To Our Little Tight Knit Community Within REDACTED.

I Have Gotten An Estimate From A Local Sign Specialist And Have Called A
Local Company REDACTED Just Down The Road To Get Some Estimates For Rock
And Landscape Materials. What We Are Proposing To Do Is Replace The
Existing Sign With A Large Stone Carved One That Sits On A Rockery With A
Dry Riverbed And Low Maintenance Plants With Some Landscape Stones.

In Order To Keep The Prices Down So That This Would Be Affordable For All,
Some Of The Work Would Have To Be Done Ourselves Rather Than Hiring It
Out. We Have Already Had A Few Volunteers Come Forward In This Effort To
Beautify Our Neighborhood For All.

I Have Estimates For The Permit, Signage, And The Landscaping. Pooling All
Of Our Monies Together Will Help Pay For These Landscape Features.
Working As A Team Means That All The Work And Expense Responsibilities
Does Not Fall On Any One Person. I Have Also Included A Picture Of What The
End Result Will Look Like. The Money Will Be Collected Upon Everyone's
Approval In The Neighborhood. Each Home In REDACTED Is To Split The
Cost And Any Monies Leftover In The End Will Be Split Between The
Contributors Evenly.

The Estimated Total Cost Is $3,187.00 Dollars. Out Of The People That I Have
Spoken With If Each Household Contributes $125.00 Dollars We Should Have
Sufficient Funds To Complete The Project. Of Course These Figure Can
Change If Anyone Were To Back Out.

The Money Will Be Collected By June 1, 2009. This Then Will Allow Us To
Place Our Order And Start 'The Ground Preparation For The New Sign. Money
Can Be Dropped Off To REDACTED Or REDACTED At REDACTED ADDRESS AND
PHONE NUMBER

Thank You For Your Contributions!!

My wife politely told her that we were not going to participate in this endeavor and broke off immediately. I'm not sure if she bladed at 45 degrees, or even had a massive adreneline dump.

This past Wednesday, Ms. Busybody had the audacity to again come door-to-door and solicit cash or check. My wife told her again that we were not playing along. This is when things got interesting. Apparently, when walking away down my driveway, Ms. Busybody muttered something about how "everyone else is going to have to contribute more" to offset our non-participation. My wife let loose. She told Ms. Busybody that she didn't appreciate hearing that shit on our property and told her that we know for a fact that there are other neighbors not contributing. I came outside at that point. Ms. Busybody flashed us an envelope full of money and said that everyone else is paying. I retorted with, "Well, they do say a sucker is born every minute." Ms. Busybody didn't like that.

I had two theories as to why Ms. Busybody decided to take on this little project. First, I thought that they were going to sell within six months and are trying to eke out every cent they could from the sale of their home. The second, more remote idea I hade was that she's grooming her resume to run for office. Well today, my second theory has been realised. A neighbor has a banner on the front of their house proclaiming "Ms. Busybody for REDACTED City Council".

I will update when the letters to the editors I have written get published.

What sayeth the Hive Mind?

In before: Move out, That's what you get for living there (city / country / county / state / time zone), SSS, etc.




Link Posted: 6/13/2009 8:56:01 PM EST
Do you have any video cameras?
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 8:58:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
Do you have any video cameras?

That thought has crossed my mind.

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 8:59:13 PM EST

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
Do you have any video cameras?


Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:04:22 PM EST
Have you or your wife made it clear that she's no longer welcome on your property for solicitation purposes? If so, have her arrested for trespassing next time she steps on your lawn. I'm sure it'll work wonders for her campaign
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:04:34 PM EST
Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
Do you have any video cameras?


Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?


Do you like movies about gladiators?
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:08:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By ProGunFemme:
Have you or your wife made it clear that she's no longer welcome on your property for solicitation purposes? If so, have her arrested for trespassing next time she steps on your lawn. I'm sure it'll work wonders for her campaign

I half expect that very soon.
The very next time it happens, the local police will be invited over to discuss trespassing.

I have a "NO SOLICITORS" sign next to my front door.

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:08:58 PM EST
I say fork over the $125. Ms. Busybody is not someone to be trifled with, IMO.

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:10:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By LIINTLICKR:
I say fork over the $125. Ms. Busybody is not someone to be trifled with, IMO.


Show me where I'm obligated to fork over one red cent.

isn't the "sarcastic smiley".

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:13:36 PM EST
Originally Posted By replicators:
Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
Do you have any video cameras?


Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?


Do you like movies about gladiators?


I watched that movie today.

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:14:39 PM EST
Put up your own banner "Mr. JS98010 for REDACTED City Council"

That ought to give her something to think about.
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:20:36 PM EST
Sounds eerily like my old 30 home subdivision in Duvall, WA. That's why I moved outta there!
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:22:07 PM EST
I'm gonna need MS Paint before I issue any further advice.

Srsly.
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:24:06 PM EST
Time for some pink lawn flamingos and confederate flags out front!
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:26:58 PM EST
Originally Posted By JS98010:

Originally Posted By LIINTLICKR:
I say fork over the $125. Ms. Busybody is not someone to be trifled with, IMO.


Show me where I'm obligated to fork over one red cent.

isn't the "sarcastic smiley".



money says shes using the "contributions" for her council bid
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:32:14 PM EST
I have some neighbors that are:

An elected county official
Has "Christian and Democrat, you can be both" bumper sticker on their vehicle and
A poster of Che Gevera on a wall in their garage/shop. ( My drive way is situated as such that when I turn into it I look directly into their shop. It ain't like I am snooping)

Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:37:57 PM EST
Originally Posted By JS98010:

Originally Posted By LIINTLICKR:
I say fork over the $125. Ms. Busybody is not someone to be trifled with, IMO.


Show me where I'm obligated to fork over one red cent.

isn't the "sarcastic smiley".



Dude, stop being a cheap-ass, and help contribute to keeping your neighboorhood beautiful. Is it that hard?

(Is that better?)
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:39:20 PM EST
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:51:34 PM EST
Taco punch.
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 9:56:28 PM EST
Originally Posted By USPcompact:
I'm gonna need MS Paint before I issue any further advice.

Srsly.


MS Paint for sure.

In on one.
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 10:27:43 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/13/2009 10:31:09 PM EST by LORD-eX-Bu]
hire someone to plow a moving truck into the new sign when its done... say something like the reflection of the sun on the sign blinded him temporarily... lets see her win her city council vote after endangering lives

In 29 Palms, CA right after the new expensive welcome sign for the town was completed some drunk plowed into it and destroyed it
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 10:32:46 PM EST
If you have the spare change, why not? No one can force you to contribute, but a nice sign at the entrance to your subdivision would probably raise your property values by at least $125. Plus she sounds like the kind of bitch who would tell everyone the names of the families who didn't contribute.

If you have the time the ultimate FU would probably be to help install the sign. Don't allow any pictures with you in it to be published in the local newspaper, as pictures of 'neighbors helping each other' or crap like that would be a feather in her campaign cap.

Bonus points: Help the family in the old house near the entrance clean up their property, then play it as 'she wanted to kick this family out' with the help of her opponent. That should be the coup de gras on her bid for local office.

You don't have to be an asshole (overtly) to seriously f*** her shit up.
Link Posted: 6/13/2009 11:04:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
I'm gonna need MS Paint before I issue any further advice.

Srsly.

I hope Paint.net will suffice instead of MS Paint.


Link Posted: 6/13/2009 11:08:00 PM EST
Call the Police for them to write a report. This is purely for future reference as she might Trespass again.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 1:38:59 AM EST
One of the neighborhoods around here, (maybe with an HOA but I kind of doubt it.,) has the name PLEASANT HILLS. and at all the entrances the signs were made of letters welded on a circle., and for close to the last 20 years the signs have read P_EASANT HILLS. Yep, some joker broke off the L's. Guess they didn't have an effective Mrs. Busybody or HOA because it was almost 20 years to get replaced with signs where the L is permanent.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 1:50:08 AM EST
Tell fer to get stuffed. Then kick her in the taco.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 1:56:49 AM EST
Be the pimple on her ass throughout her campaign. See the pimple, be the pimple.

THEN, punch her in the taco.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 2:01:59 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 2:08:32 AM EST by rike]
Sounds like you and wifey are the douches, not Mrs. Kravitz.

Busybody or not, her intentions are good as well as the potential results of her endeavors.

If you can't afford the $125 man up and tell her you don't earn enough money to help.

ETA

Her post on knitting.com on her cheap hostile neighbors is spot on.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 3:06:16 AM EST
Originally Posted By rike:
Sounds like you and wifey are the douches, not Mrs. Kravitz.

Busybody or not, her intentions are good as well as the potential results of her endeavors.

If you can't afford the $125 man up and tell her you don't earn enough money to help.

ETA

Her post on knitting.com on her cheap hostile neighbors is spot on.



Her good intentions are masking an agenda, and a very self-serving one at that. Please feel free to write her a check out of your bank account.

It only takes one asshole to ruin a neighborhood.

That asshole is usually on stay-at-home, undersexed woman with political ambitions or a chip on her shoulder for being moved somewhere she doesn't want to be.

We had one in our nice, quiet neighborhood once, a wife of a musician that traveled a lot. She wanted speed bumps installed, wanted an HOA formed, wanted this, wanted that...etc, etc. A majority of the neighbors formed a counter-alliance and got her speed bump idea killed at the county level, and most didn't want a HOA because they knew what HOA's do.......fuck shit up.

Her husband finally realized what a cunt we all knew she was and divorced her. Problem solved.

Link Posted: 6/14/2009 3:17:56 AM EST
Tell her you're not contributing because seeing large rocks always gives you flashbacks to when you were in prison for killing the last person that pissed you off.



Link Posted: 6/14/2009 3:23:40 AM EST

Is she one of these women at her "other job"?


Link Posted: 6/14/2009 3:46:57 AM EST
Make your own sign to donate.......Just letters KTFO
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 3:53:39 AM EST
Spread the rumor that the sign company owner is in some way related to the busybody, and lower estimates can be had elsewhere.

Watch hilarity ensue.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 4:26:57 AM EST
count houses. 3187 / 30 = 106.23333333

125 x 30 = 3750

an innocent flyer showing how much she's pocketing or else that at least x % have already indicated their dissatisfaction with the plan and are not participating, and that ms busybody is assuming everyone else wants to pay, and that really, all involved should have a meeting in her lawn to vote. While wearing soccer cleats of course.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 6:59:03 AM EST
Originally Posted By oregonblackrifle:
Tell fer to get stuffed. Then kick her in the taco.


Best. Response. Ever.
I agree that you should definately screw up "fer" election chances. Maybe plant a rumor that she has a history of abusing her husband. Would be imossible to substatiate-most abused men wouldn't admit it- but might place enough doubt to ruin her day.
Oh and +1 to taco abuse
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:10:25 AM EST
I would likely contribute $125.00, since it is voluntary and it sounds like a very nice looking improvment. She really does seem like a byotch and I'd hope she doesn't win the city council seat. Following up on any personal relationship she may have with the sign company seems reasonable, as well.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:25:26 AM EST
With regards to that sign; if there wasn't one there at all, it wouldn't bother me at all.
Here's my philosophy: I spend money on improvements on my own property. Anything beyond my property line is the responsibility of the respective property owner(s).

In this case, the sign is either on county property or some other easement I do not hold the deed on.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:28:51 AM EST


Dude, it's $125 bucks....I'd probably help install the thing too.

I try not to be an asshole and maintain good relations with my neighbors....$125 for a sign and some landscaping is not asking a lot.

Chill out and write the check.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:31:12 AM EST
Originally Posted By Bubbles:
Spread the rumor that the sign company owner is in some way related to the busybody, and lower estimates can be had elsewhere.

Watch hilarity ensue.


hahahah

i love it
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:43:40 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 7:44:13 AM EST by ost]
Can a couple of 4x4 posts, a sheet of OSB, and a can of black spray paint cost that much? Anything else is over kill.

Or support the new sign only if "LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT." is added.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 7:56:54 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 7:57:53 AM EST by Girl_Interrupted]
We recently did a joint neighborhood effort to improve the landscaping on our subdivision entrance. We had a neighborhood wide yard sale and were able to raise the money to not only improve the existing sign (that had rotted) and plant some flowers, but we were also able to paint the house of a man who is in Iraq serving. His parents got permission from him and we painted his house in appreciation of what he is over there doing, but also because it had fallen into disrepair while he has been gone and several boards were rotting. He shouldn't have to come home to that. We used the money left over to buy a Dalmatian pup to replace the dog our local firehouse lost (the fire chief is my neighbor three houses down). They named the pup after our neighborhood and we all had a great time having a tailgate party as several of the handy men volunteered the labor in exchange for free beer and hot dogs.

I can completely understand her desire to repair the sign if it's bad ... but she's going about it the wrong way.

Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:01:24 AM EST
Originally Posted By ost:
Can a couple of 4x4 posts, a sheet of OSB, and a can of black spray paint cost that much? Anything else is over kill.

Or support the new sign only if "LOOTERS WILL BE SHOT." is added.


Now, the Looters will be shot is a sign I would support too. You also need a pauper's field to hide the body in afterwards. It's a matter of civil liability when the survivors sue for wrongful death.

Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:01:45 AM EST
Originally Posted By BoreSighted:
count houses. 3187 / 30 = 106.23333333

125 x 30 = 3750

an innocent flyer showing how much she's pocketing or else that at least x % have already indicated their dissatisfaction with the plan and are not participating, and that ms busybody is assuming everyone else wants to pay, and that really, all involved should have a meeting in her lawn to vote. While wearing soccer cleats of course.


Almost 10% sales tax out here in WA...
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:02:14 AM EST
Originally Posted By pv74:


Dude, it's $125 bucks....I'd probably help install the thing too.

I try not to be an asshole and maintain good relations with my neighbors....$125 for a sign and some landscaping is not asking a lot.

Chill out and write the check.


Sweet, I'll show up to your door and ask for $500 to support a local known cause.

I wouldn't give ANY money to my neighbors for ANY cause.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:03:24 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 8:04:31 AM EST by Primos]
Originally Posted By pv74:


Dude, it's $125 bucks....I'd probably help install the thing too.

I try not to be an asshole and maintain good relations with my neighbors....$125 for a sign and some landscaping is not asking a lot.

Chill out and write the check.


You don't think 3100 3700 dollars is a bit much? Why does it need to be stone now?
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:05:50 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 8:06:41 AM EST by Lester_Burnham]
for $3700 I'd drive out from IL to do it. get some estimates from other places and give them to her, if you think it actually needs done and would consider contributing.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:06:39 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 8:57:40 AM EST
Signs are overrated, especially in neighborhoods that have a house that people are talking about getting condemned.

Also, people that really, really want to be in control of everybody else are usually the worst people to be in charge. It is your moral duty to crush her leadership aspirations before she becomes the de facto HOA-Fuhrer.
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 9:08:05 AM EST
Originally Posted By replicators:
Originally Posted By thelastgunslinger:

Originally Posted By USPcompact:
Do you have any video cameras?


Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?


Do you like movies about gladiators?


Have you ever seen a grown man naked?
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 9:14:00 AM EST
It seems like she was trying to do something nice for the neighborhood. I would have cut her a check for $125 and thanked her for putting the whole thing together. Probably would have volunteered my time as well.

My neighbor did the same thing last year to get our sidewalks replaced. We all went in together as a group and saved a bunch of money and I didn't have to do any leg work to line up a contractor. It was very nice of her to go through the effort to pull it together.



Link Posted: 6/14/2009 9:29:18 AM EST
Originally Posted By philinmedford:
http://imboredatwork.org/prohibitionkissing.jpg

I would need liquor to kiss those lips!

Nice sigline, BTW!

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