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Posted: 7/19/2008 8:56:45 AM EDT
I have wondered why it seems women have more medical problems than men.

I have been married for 5 years and after our first year married, my wife started having
joint pain and was eventually diagnosed with Lupus, an autoimmune disease for which
there is no cure. Since then, her health as worsened and there have been non-stop medical
tests, office visits, physical therapy and a couple of surgeries. I have good insurance so that
is a godsend, but copays for visits and prescriptions have an annoying way of adding up quickly.

We went to a support group once and most of the people (mostly women) who have Lupus end up
with their spouses ejecting and leaving them once the disease worsens. Cowards.

I would never do that. However, it gets me down sometimes with all her needs
and medical expenses and I hate doctors as does she, but I always go with her to appointments
when I can because sometimes she can't handle it (emotionally). I can't do anything about it
besides support her.

Are there many here with similar situations?

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:00:03 AM EDT
Yes, but it's my husband who has been ill almost our entire marriage.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:05:47 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SplintNicket:
Yes, but it's my husband who has been ill almost our entire marriage.


yup im the broke dick one not the wife..
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:07:02 AM EDT
My wife is a diabetic, has had two back surgeries, a hysterectomy and has poly-cystic ovary syndrome.

It is difficult at times but she's my girl.

She's recovering from another surgery currently and as you stated, thank goodness for good insurance.

Her maint meds would be un-affordable without it.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:16:18 AM EDT
Govt employee insurance FTW

WAIT I havent been hired yet

And if your gf is fucked its time to eject. Wife you cant eject unless she has contact with anotber mans pole.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:20:43 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 9:22:39 AM EDT by Maryland_Shooter]
The medical problem my wife has is ME! Seriously - and she has been a gem.

ETA: Cowards indeed. How can you abandon someone when they need you most? Gutless garbage - although some can't handle it mentally.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:20:57 AM EDT
Wife has MS!

diagnosed a year after we married.

In sickness and in health.

she's but up with a few of my major injuries from motorsports. I broke my back last year and 5 years ago 4 ribs and messed up my feet and knees.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:36:30 AM EDT
Yes, she had major open heart surgery 8 years ago. Shen should never have live through it. An ASD repair at 55. Only a handful of people ever lived through the surgery prior to her. She is monitered all the time. But she stuck by me through 2 serious wounds, PTSD. Now we are both in fairly good health. Hnag in there
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:37:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 9:38:08 AM EDT by Dragracer_Art]
My wife doesn't have any medical problems at all... but she always thinks she does.

I think all the problems she has are in her head.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:41:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dragracer_Art:
My wife doesn't have any medical problems at all... but she always thinks she does.

I think all the problems she has are in her head.


+1
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:47:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Dragracer_Art:
My wife doesn't have any medical problems at all... but she always thinks she does.

I think all the problems she has are in her head.


Pain disorders in particular commonly have a psychosomatic cause,
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:52:08 AM EDT
i dated a woman for 4 years who had more problems than you could shake a stick at. our relationship ended for other reasons than her health, but it sure was a relief to find someone who was not always having issues.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:55:54 AM EDT
This has been on my mind for years. My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer three years ago, and during our marriage has had a laundry list of ailments. Needless to say, cancer is at the top of the list (she's clean as of last week's slatest tests).

She's had more surgeries than I can remember. Scans, screens, pharmacy bills that are mind blowing, and yet there always seems to be a new problem. I've said it for years that women get a really bad deal, where health is concerned. From childbirth to all the run of the mill female problems, it seems like there's no end.

Lately, she's experiencing weakness, minor shaking, and headaches and nausea. She's afraid it may be MS, but so far it appears to be a thyroid problem. She'd be the first one to admit that her career hasn't helped her much in dealing with all this. She was a cancer nurse at MD Anderson for almost fifteen years, and has been a hospice nurse for the past five. As a result, she's become very aware of not only what the warning signs are at the onset of a diagnosis, but she's also too familiar with what the end stages of many of these diseases are like. It's a lot to deal with.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:57:23 AM EDT
My wife of 42 years was diagnosed with Lupus 1 year ago. Yep, it has changed our lives, but that is the way it goes. She can not be in the sun for more than 5 mins. She tires very easily and has joint pain now and then. But, when you look at the whole spectrum of possible issues one could be burdened with, it could always be worse. I do all the house work I can for her and do what ever I can............just the way life is, who knows why.

Hang in there man, it is harder on her, physically and mentally!! Best wishes to both of you and good luck.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 9:59:44 AM EDT
Some of the OP's observations may be due to women going to the doctor more than men. Most of the guys I know won't go to a doc unless they have lost a pint of blood and can't get the wound to stop bleeding. Women go for headaches.

As for me, I would say I know more women with medical issues than men. But, that may be due to men not sharing info as much as women. Who knows? Anyone have numbers?

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 10:05:54 AM EDT

Originally Posted By PaperStreet:
Some of the OP's observations may be due to women going to the doctor more than men. Most of the guys I know won't go to a doc unless they have lost a pint of blood and can't get the wound to stop bleeding. Women go for headaches.

As for me, I would say I know more women with medical issues than men. But, that may be due to men not sharing info as much as women. Who knows? Anyone have numbers?



+1, men usually only go via ambulance.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 10:13:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Parana1:

I can't do anything about it besides support her.

Are there many here with similar situations?

Two years ago my wife of nearly 36 years suffered a stroke. It was fairly severe, but thankfully she has regained (with a lot of therapy) about 85% of her functions back, but it's been a hard road for us both.

And like you said, "I can't do anything about it besides support her".


Stay Strong my friend.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 3:30:18 PM EDT
Thanks for the replies folks.


Originally Posted By 10-8k9:
My wife of 42 years was diagnosed with Lupus 1 year ago. Yep, it has changed our lives, but that is the way it goes. She can not be in the sun for more than 5 mins. She tires very easily and has joint pain now and then. But, when you look at the whole spectrum of possible issues one could be burdened with, it could always be worse. I do all the house work I can for her and do what ever I can............just the way life is, who knows why.

Hang in there man, it is harder on her, physically and mentally!! Best wishes to both of you and good luck.



Lupus is a strange thing, my wife has the same issues with the sun and joints. We used to enjoy mountain biking and camping and such, but now she can't do it. It wipes her out.

Have you and your wife gone to a Lupus support group? It seems to have helped mine by getting to know others with the same issues and trade tips and info only those with Lupus know.

Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:14:30 PM EDT
My wife comes down with a case of crossed leg colic on occasion.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:16:53 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 7/19/2008 6:18:40 PM EDT by raven]
Women need medical services a lot more than men. it's something like 4 visits per adult woman for every man in primary care. Mostly reproductive issues.

I think the ER sees a lot more men, that's a guess, I don't know for sure. I just know about primary care.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:18:48 PM EDT

We went to a support group once and most of the people (mostly women) who have Lupus end up
with their spouses ejecting and leaving them once the disease worsens. Cowards.


Well for one thing, lupis patients are about 70 to 80 percent women... that may be sort of skewing the odds, because you see more women than men with this disease.

In my unscientific opinion, women with heath issues are likelier than men to marry.

Sucks about the lupis. I dated a woman who had that.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:18:54 PM EDT
Nope. I'm the one with issues.
Link Posted: 7/19/2008 6:19:02 PM EDT
Yes.
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