I don't know how it happened, to be honest I used to live for the mall. Hanging out, trying to hook up with girls and crappy mall food were the focal point of much of my youth.

So I hit Boca Town Center today to finally do that holiday shopping that couldn't be done online or through catalogs. And god I hate the mall now.

Actually I hate getting in the car for anything that isn't right over there. I hate traffic, I hate trying to find a place to park.

Then I get to the mall. Chock full of vacant, vapid people whose sole identity is based upon the designer labels they wear. Yeah, I know it was Boca but kind of funny how they think it is really Rodeo Drive (of course those people are pathetic too).

Bratty kids crying and cursing their parents for not buying everything they demand. And little kids buying toys that cost what most of you spend in a day at the gun store. And the always dependable little shit throwing a temper tantrum in the middle of the store screaming at the top of his lungs while his mother stands there waiting for "time out" to work. If ONLY it were somehow legal for me to smack either one of them.

Where did all the old people come from and did someone actually pay them to walk in front of me and make a 1/2 errand take 2 hours?

Mall food is still crappy. I was actually hungry but the pizza looked worse than the slices I have in my fridge from last week. Do people actually pay money for this stuff?

I figure I'll hit the music stores for some CD/DVD ideas. I'm officially old, the music you kids listen to really, really sucks. ALL of it. I hate your rock, rap, metal and country. It all sucks, that isn't real music and I hope you permanantly damage your hearing as a result of listening to that crap, that would make me happy. Leave me alone I have my 'cool music' that my parents thought was noise.

The girls were still hot. And while it was really nice "at first" it quickly got depressing. One, I'm married. Two, I'm older now. Actually the girls really looked interesting, in some cases a lot hotter and in greater quantity than any I remember in my 'hunting days.' But all this did was make me feel like the "old guy in the club" trying to hook up and we used to laugh at that guy. The more I noticed the girls the more depressed I got.

On a related note, when did slutty become acceptable for 12 year olds? I don't mean brittany spears, I mean slutty. I was waiting to see a 12 year old with nipple rings after a certain point. What the hell is wrong with parents? I'm sure the 12 year old boys like it but not sure what the hell they'd do about it, do you just throw 2 rocks instead of one if she is really slutty looking?

Then time to pay the piper and buy the card. I hate buying fucking cards. I'd rather get my scrotum waxed than shop for cards. Can one of you guys please start a card store with cards men would actually buy that say what we really think? I'd shop there. I'm sick of spending $7.50 on a fucking piece of card board because it has writing on it that is closest to how I think but still way off. One potatoe, two potatoe that is my card.

To cheer myself up I figure hit Victorias Secret for stocking stuffers. Get the wife something cool and stare at the hot chicks working in VS. Note to VS: "Stop hiring fat women and old ladies" it does not help sell lingerie.

Finally I can't take it anymore and I bail. 3 hours in the mall and I still didn't find jack shit. At least I got the card out of the way. I want those three hours of my life back.

Might have to hit Hooters for lunch.

Maybe some wings and hot chicks who pretend to be interested will cheer me up.

Who saw that South Park? [:D]

You lasted 3hrs?  Damn!  

Didn't have malls when I was a kid. I miss going to the little stores on the main street to shop.

The malls are so deserate for a good year that I think they are open from 7am-midnite

Bingo!  Women shop.  Men purchase.

PE and I went to the mall the other day.  He had to tag along because I was his ride home.  I needed to buy a couple presents for my wife that I couldn't do via the Internet.  The first was a new duffel bag for her karate gear and I needed to look at it to make sure the size and layout was decent.  The second was Bath & Body Works.  I needed to make sure the items I was buying smelled good.  Since I knew the location of the targets and the items to be retrieved, the time spent in hostile territory was minimal.

There is little reason for anyone to spend time shopping at the mall.  You can usually find what you need cheaper over the Internet, out-of-state so you don't pay sales tax and get it shipped for free in some cases.


Shopping with PE can be a riot though.  [:D]

The New Balance shoes that I wear are being discontinued.  They were on sale for $40 so I just mail-ordered three pairs and had them shipped for free.  Those should last me 2-3 years.

When you wear 14EE, finding shoes at a retail store can be a pain, so I usually stock up when I find something I like.  I still have a pair of Chuck Taylor high tops in my closet that's been there a year or two.  They'll probably be on eBay shortly though.