Just got done with a board meeting and most of those morons were asking the stupidest questions. How they got on the board is beyond me.
affirmative action applies to intelligence(or lack thereof) too
These guys get a balance sheet every month and every month, they ask the SAME stupid questions. Did we make any money? What's in our A/R? How's the inventory? Are we falling within budget? Hello???!!!! I answer the same stupid questions every month.
I feel the same way when I read some of the posts on this site.
Hell, the corporate world revolves around having meetings. Meetings to decide where to eat lunch, meetings to decide on when to have meetings, etc. 99.99% of the time there shouldn't even have been a meeting and a simple phone call would have worked instead. Most meetings are held so that people can make it appear that they are doing something and justify their jobs.
Peace be with you.
There's some truth to that........
I think most of the meetings I go to are like this.
HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN MEETINGS: OFFERED AS A PUBLIC
Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that.
1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. I find that 5" x 5" is a good size. Divide the square into columns-five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch squares.
2. Write one of the following 25 words/phrases in each block:
* strategic fit
* core competencies
* best practice
* bottom line
* to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")
* out of the loop
* think outside the box
* fast track
* empower (or empowerment)
* knowledge base
* at the end of the day
* touch base
* client focus(ed)
* game plan
3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those
4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"
Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:
-- "I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Adam W., Atlanta
-- "My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David T., Florida
-- "What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first
- Dan J., New York City
-- "The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
- Ben G., Denver
-- "The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."-
The Bullshit Bingo Championship will be played at the next meeting.
I just laughed out loud, and people are looking at me.
YUP, I went as far as to tell the plant engineer, that he needed to take fuckin reality pill, and soon....
Still have my job, for now.......
Somedays, it seems as though the greatest thing that can be accomplished in meetings is keeping the flow of oxygen to the brain.