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Posted: 5/1/2011 8:41:12 AM EDT
If so, how long is an acceptable time together before you do? Poll to follow
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:42:04 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2011 8:42:29 AM EDT by pcsutton]
Nope, I run around behind her. Then blame her.  
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:42:06 AM EDT
A lot. With gusto. Probably waited 3 months or so to pass gas unabated, but I'm sure it happened before then by accident.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:42:15 AM EDT
Dutch over FTW
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:42:33 AM EDT
Of course.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:43:34 AM EDT
I try not to. I don't like smelling anyone else's ass, I'm sure not going to bombard my wife if I can avoid it.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:43:49 AM EDT
Yes, and she gets pissed.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:44:50 AM EDT
kcolg30 has never farted in his life...
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:45:45 AM EDT
Yes, but she gives as good as she gets...
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:47:37 AM EDT
With bells on...
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:48:32 AM EDT
I like farting in bed an pullin the covers over her head when shes asleep, she gets so pissed gettin woke up that way but she still lerves me she says
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:48:59 AM EDT
How else would I get even with her.  We have been known to take turns.  ( Hers are far worse than mine by the way)
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:50:57 AM EDT
Often, and absolutely when in closets, elevators, etc.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:51:43 AM EDT



Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:


Yes, but she gives as good as she gets...


This!



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:53:42 AM EDT
If I gotta fart, I gotta fart.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:56:41 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2011 9:01:04 AM EDT by 6winchester2]
Originally Posted By kcolg30:
kcolg30 has never farted in his life...


Every human passes on average a pint of methane gas per day.

Experts who have studied this have determined that men tend to fart more (probably because we eat more, which causes more fermentation of food particles in the colon), but that women's farts tend to be "smellier."

DISCLAIMER: This is from an article I read once, and I have no idea how they determined these findings.

The article was in the June 2007 issue of FARTING TIMES magazine, IIRC.  (Just kidding!).

Link Posted: 5/1/2011 8:58:21 AM EDT
No, I try not to. However, the first night I stayed at her place, we were laying in bed and she busted ass on my leg as we were sleeping. I thought it was hilarious and I dont know how I didnt wake her up I was laughing so hard. I still give her a hard time to this day about it, and she threatens shes gonna do it again if I'm not careful. I love that woman.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:02:12 AM EDT
Its foreplay for us.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:02:16 AM EDT
Men have been room clearing in my family for ages.



I don't plan on breaking tradition.


Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:04:28 AM EDT
NO MAN WTF
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:10:56 AM EDT
When Mrs. Gas first came to the states we would drive from Ft Bragg to Boston on leave, I would tell her about this part of America being famous for having open sewers. She bought it only briefly.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:12:44 AM EDT
Originally Posted By CarrierGas:
When Mrs. Gas first came to the states we would drive from Ft Bragg to Boston on leave, I would tell her about this part of America being famous for having open sewers. She bought it only briefly.


They don't have farts in her homeland?
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:13:00 AM EDT
Yep.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:16:24 AM EDT
I do know when you're pouring it to the old lady, let one slip, and say "damn I must have hit a gas pocket", she does NOT find it as funny as you do.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:17:35 AM EDT
Originally Posted By sdboy:
I do know when you're pouring it to the old lady, let one slip, and say "damn I must have hit a gas pocket", she does NOT find it as funny as you do.


I may have been farted on during sex, once upon a time.

I can neither confirm nor deny.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:18:27 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2011 9:20:09 AM EDT by Banjaxed]
When I was married yes. Of course the honeymoon was over the day she came into the bathroom to shit..........while I was in the shower.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:21:11 AM EDT



Originally Posted By TheJacket:



Originally Posted By sdboy:

I do know when you're pouring it to the old lady, let one slip, and say "damn I must have hit a gas pocket", she does NOT find it as funny as you do.




I may have been farted on during sex, once upon a time.



I can neither confirm nor deny.
Haha mine will wait till after if she can then I hear quick, get off followed by rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  rrrrrrr r. I didn't heed the warning a time or two.





 
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:22:07 AM EDT




Originally Posted By capnrob97:

Of course.




Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:22:27 AM EDT




Originally Posted By Banjaxed:

When I was married yes. Of course the honeymoon was over the day she came into the bathroom to shit..........while I was in the shower.

Damn.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:25:07 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/1/2011 9:26:26 AM EDT by Blaze454]
Sorry but women farting dont do it for me. If its an accident from either party? no big. No need to be a fucking child about farting all over your SO. IMHO grow up,
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:30:39 AM EDT
Yes she tries to get back at me but hardly ever squeezes one out
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:34:05 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Banjaxed:
When I was married yes. Of course the honeymoon was over the day she came into the bathroom to shit..........while I was in the shower.




Yeah! That'll take the sparkle even out of gay emo vampires.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:35:20 AM EDT
Yes. I hold them in till I can really let one rip.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 9:41:35 AM EDT
One time, before my wife, I was receiving some oral, from a woman that was an "acquaintance", when a "silent but violent" air burst was released.



Her..." Did you fart?".........




Me..."Maybe."....




Her....




Me....
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:05:44 AM EDT
Yup, and she fights back too...  
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:07:45 AM EDT



Originally Posted By Banjaxed:


When I was married yes. Of course the honeymoon was over the day she came into the bathroom to shit..........while I was in the shower.


That's so fuckin wrong



 
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:08:13 AM EDT
Absolutely, and often; on her if i get the chance
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:18:06 AM EDT
We play dutch oven!
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:25:48 AM EDT
like a Mac truck going down a 70% grade with a Jake Brake; but like the others
said, she ain't defenseless either
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:26:32 AM EDT
We both do it in front of each other. It took a long time for her to do it in front of me. I think over time she just started do it as retaliation.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:27:25 AM EDT
I used to work with a guy (fucking idiot actually) who wouldn't even shit at home if his wife was there.  He would go to his brother's house.  
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:30:35 AM EDT
I farted when I proposed to her.



Figured that if she couldn't deal with that, then it would never last.  



18+ years and counting.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:32:45 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Guntoter:
I used to work with a guy (fucking idiot actually) who wouldn't even shit at home if his wife was there.  He would go to his brother's house.  


So, if he had diarrhea, he'd just move in with his brother until he was better?  
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:33:59 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Blaze454:
Sorry but women farting dont do it for me. If its an accident from either party? no big. No need to be a fucking child about farting all over your SO. IMHO grow up,


I don't run up to my wife and fart in her face or anything like that.  But I also don't run out of the room to protect her from the trauma of hearing/smelling them, either.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:34:21 AM EDT
I waited a couple of months before I started farting with her in the room. Even then I still felt a little weird doing it.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:35:20 AM EDT
It's pretty low rent behavior .... My Sister's lazy slob child support taking Ex Husband used to do it unabashedly in front of my Sister. Not something I'd ever due intentionally, or blatantly.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:36:13 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:37:22 AM EDT
Dutch ovens FTW
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:37:27 AM EDT
If one the way home from work I feel like i'm going to fart I hold it in till I get home.... Figure she cooks the meals she should enjoy some of the output
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 10:57:11 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Torqued:

Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:
Yes, but she gives as good as she gets...

This!
 


That.
Link Posted: 5/1/2011 11:10:18 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Dilbert_556:
Yes, but she gives as good as she gets...


+1

Well, not usually but if she's having one of her nights we spend a good hour trying to force eachother under the sheets so we can share our victories.
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