Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Posted: 8/12/2007 9:14:00 AM EDT
Wife is a good person but is known to be very insenitive even her co workers joke around about it..On the other hand I am really sensitive and can read into all ind of things she does as signs of not caring, yeah i know a sign of weakness for some but its who i am....I am sure both are not admirable traits, hopefully we can both work at it.

I feel we need to work at our marriage like everything else in life..But rarely have time to get the alone time needed to get the undivided attention we use to give before we had children..

Admitingly we both made mistakes in the past that questioned each others love to differet degrees.

Ive kinda narrowed it down and it started after we had our first child 2 years ago..I know he requires alot of attention..But at that same time so does a marriage..Finding the ahppy medium and harder than I would have imagined..

So any advice you guys can give would be helpful in maing our marriage a stronger and more loving would be aprreciated..
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:21:10 AM EDT
[#1]
You have to make time for yourself. Period. Get a sitter. just go out and get away from the kids even if just for a little while.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:23:59 AM EDT
[#2]
I can certainly see a difference in the amount of "us time", since my little girl was born two years ago, but I enjoy the time I spend with my young'n, and know these days won't be here tomorrow. Fair trade.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:24:25 AM EDT
[#3]
I remember hearing about a book you and your wife might want to check out:

Baby-Proof Your Marriage.  


Having a child shouldn't cause damage to a marriage.  It makes it tougher, but it shouldn't destroy it.  You both owe it to yourselves and your child to work on the marriage.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:26:27 AM EDT
[#4]

Quoted:
Wife is a good person but is known to be very insenitive even her co workers joke around about it..On the other hand I am really sensitive and can read into all ind of things she does as signs of not caring..

I feel we need to work at our marriage like everything else in life..But rarely have time to get the alone time needed to get the undivided attention we use to give before we had children..

Admitingly we both made mistakes in the past that questioned each others love to differet degrees.

Ive kinda narrowed it down and it started after we had our first child 2 years ago..I know he requires alot of attention..But at that same time so does a marriage..

So any advice you guys can give would be helpful.


Are you the wife or the husband?  Seriously.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:33:44 AM EDT
[#5]

Quoted:

Are you the wife or the husband?  Seriously.


So you're insulting a man who cares about his family and marriage. Classy.






Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:34:00 AM EDT
[#6]

Quoted:

Quoted:
Wife is a good person but is known to be very insenitive even her co workers joke around about it..On the other hand I am really sensitive and can read into all ind of things she does as signs of not caring..

I feel we need to work at our marriage like everything else in life..But rarely have time to get the alone time needed to get the undivided attention we use to give before we had children..

Admitingly we both made mistakes in the past that questioned each others love to differet degrees.

Ive kinda narrowed it down and it started after we had our first child 2 years ago..I know he requires alot of attention..But at that same time so does a marriage..

So any advice you guys can give would be helpful.


Are you the wife or the husband?  Seriously.


Thanks for the kind words.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:35:54 AM EDT
[#7]
It is never too late.
The book that was mentioned is a great one. Both of you should read it.
You definitley need marriage time.
You need time to yourself and yes the children need both of you as well
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:43:06 AM EDT
[#8]
My in laws are seperated and getting divorced due to children.

There are other reasons but the children seemed to push it over the edge.

(24 year old won't move out and won't help around the house or pay bills, 16 year old is an Internet junkie, home schooled but just dropped out, obese, etc.)

At some point they just stopped caring about what anyone in the house or each other were doing.

The most fucked up thing is now that they are seperated they get along better and talk more but it's still an ugly situation.
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 9:57:40 AM EDT
[#9]
Get a sitter and shave your wife!
Link Posted: 8/12/2007 5:49:53 PM EDT
[#10]
Our marriage has taken a huge hit since my daughter was born. She is 8 now. We don't do anything together (wife and I). I have wanted to get a baby sitter so we can do things together but my wife is not interested. Sex doesn't exist. On the rare occasion that my daughter has gone to a sleep over when the subject of sex comes up my wife gets physically ill. I don't even try any more. 10 more years and I'm out of here.
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top