O.K.

Who has been fu**ed over by their ex in a divorce?

I couldn't believe the work of fiction I was handed my ex-wife's attorney:  In the petition for divorce it said I "made" her move all over the world because of my job in the USAF, I was always leaving home (on official TDY orders!) and she was always having to fend for herself.  What bullshit!!!  One of the reasons she wanted me to join was the opportunity for her to travel!

I was not in the USAF when we got married and we made the decison together before I enlisted...decent pay, good benefits, travel, etc....

After we arrived in Panama for my first tour, after about two months (we had been married for about 9 years at that point) she said she needed to go back to the states and visit her mother.  She took the kids with her and I thought everything was good to go.

Hardly.  I found out later (during my divorce 5 years later) that she actually intended on leaving me then.  If I had only been so lucky!

Apparently, when she got back home, some of her friends let her know about that little piece of bullshit legislation that says she is entitled to a piece of my retired pay if she sticks around until we have been married for at least ten years of my USAF career.

Needless to say, the bitch came back and at the time, I didn't know what her little scheme was.  On the day our marriage overlapped my career by 13 years, I was served with the divorce papers at my office.

When we rotated back to the states, we bought a house and I thought we were on our way.  Little did I know than in about one year she would be awarded the house in the divorce.

I can't believe she is now going to get a piece of my retired pay.  

And to think some of her friends told her to stick it out a few more years just to gouge me financially  makes me sick!

I don't remember seeing her on any of my TDYs to Saudi (twice), Italy, France, UK, Honduras, Panama?  I guess she was there in spirit (LOL).

Apparently, she had been planning on leaving/divorcing me for some time.  I was just too blind to see it coming.

I know some of you might thinking:  I cheated on her, I beat her, I drank too much, etc....
Well, the answer is no to all of them.  

Looking back, I had plenty of opportunities to cheat, but I thought I was happily married and I passed on all of them.  And I really wished I had given her a smack or two...at least I would have felt there was a reason for my divorce other than $$$.

[soapbox]

One other thing, why is it that military guys have to pony up part of their retirement "by law".  What's wrong with that picture?  It shoudn't even be part of the package the judge can look at when the divorce goes to court.

Does anybody think that seems a little unfair???
[BS]

Oh well, now that I have that off my chest, anybody else out there have similar shitty divorces?

Geez, that sucks.

Don't know what to say to ya, bro, other than I feel for ya.

Shit! And I thought that I was having a tough time in life. Sorry to hear that.

Who is getting the kids? Let me guess-her. Sonofabiotch!

When the dust settles, I'll give you a full report on mine, but for now, I'm in the trenches.  I can, however, relate to how you feel.

vmax84

Fuck it, I'd quit before I could retire. How much is she going to get if you do and could you get the same amount that you'd get to keep if you got a job in the private sector?

I'd work harder to make it up just to spite her, but I'd never let her know it. That's me though.

I'm just getting ready to pull the trigger on mine.  Cluster-you-know-what.  

My wife has been so kind as to indicate that she believes she gets to do whatever she wants in terms of getting custody -- get this -- because "she made the choice to have" our daughter in the first place.

What a moron.

I can't wait to see the look on her face when her lawyer (or our judge) explains that she has sole control only until the third trimester after which the father's rights and state interests attach.

You might want to try to have it stated in the divorce settlement that she will get her percentage of your retirement pay at the paygrade you are at [b]now[/b] as opposed to the paygrage you retire at.  The argument is that once you two are separated, she no longer contributes to your success in the Air Force and should not be rewarded for any further successes after the divorce.  

Although this won't completely alleviate your problems, I hope it will help.

Yep, I feel for you TennVol. My divorce wasn't quite that dirty, but she's getting what she wants. Almost 1/3 of my monthly income (never mind she makes ½ again what I make) and the kid can come over anytime she wants. She just won't let me take credit for it because that would reduce the child support payment. It's the money, baaabyy.




And that's exactly how they do it. You've got to do the same thing if you even want to think about "breaking even."

Good luck, man.

I feel your pain brother!  You can thank commie-pinko-ex-congress-bitch Pat Schroeder (Dem-CO) for this zany freaking law.  You wouldn't believe the horror stories connected with this one.  The military are the only Federal employees that get screwed like this with their own special law!

I am ex-AF also and my wife asked for a divorce in our 10th year.  I have a similar shitty story to tell also, but so far mine has turned out much better than yours (knock on wood).

At the time of my divorce, my ex didn't want to keep the kids, as they didn't fit into her plans then.  Fine, I wanted them anyway and negotiated a deal with her that she would sign away her rights to my retirement in exchange for me not asking for any child support.  Short term it was a good deal for her but long term, she screwed herself.  Then, she decided she didn't want to get divorced so we patched things up, put the divorce paperwork on hold, moved stateside and bought a house.  Before we were even in the house a month I realized this was never going to work, she was never going to change and that finishing the divorce was the best thing to do.

It took me only a few months to get the paperwork finished, but with one minor glitch.  We started the paperwork before we bought the house and neglected to get it added in the property settlement agreement before the divorce went final.  Before I realized my mistake it was too late.  It took me 5 years to get her to agree to a settlement on the house so I could keep it for the boys and I.  When she finally did agree to a settlement price on her share of the equity, I had my lawyer add a statement to the agreement that "this settlement also reaffirms her previous agreement dated such and such to not seek any claim to my future military retirement....yada yada yada".  My lawyer said it would be pretty hard for her to go to court in the future and have a sane judge overlook the fact that she signed away her right to my retirement twice in an 8 year period!

Anyway, so far so good.  I've been retired 5 years, drawing my full retirement pay and everything is quiet so far.

Before I retired though, my friend "Larry" went to Korea for a year and after about 6 months his highschool sweetheart wife decided she wanted some "strange" and proceeded to get it with various local lowlifes.  She then wanted a divorce and Larry was so pissed about the whole situation that he decided he would rather separate at 16 years and not get [i]any[/i] retirement rather than retire and give [b]her[/b] a portion of it.  Kind of biting off your nose to spite your face but he stuck to his guns and did it.  I took the TAP class with him in 1998.

I know that everyone has their own little stories about DIVORCE, but I see divorces on a grand scale.

Let me tell you what I tell my husband clients in Texas:

[b]'Texas Community Property Settlement' means that [u]you[/u] get whatever falls off the truck as your wife drives away![/b]

I got my ass handed to me the first time around, I will get it handed to me the next (and final) time around.

C'mon, I know it's a bitch, but would you rather trade places with womenz?

Really?

Eric The(AndNotJustForThat'MultipleOrgasm'Thing,Either)Hun[>]:)]

Lessons men learn from divorce:

1. Women are evil and completely lacking in conscience.

2. Without a prenup the equation for what the man ends up with is simple:

All marital assets - Whatever she wants = Man's dregs

3. When all is said and done remember:

Q:"Why is divorce so expensive?"
A:"Because it's worth it!"


Proof that some men are morons:

After all that shit, some go ahead and do it all over again!!!

Did you get any of what her friends said in writing?
What she did is Fraud & Theft. And the planning of it years ago with her friends is Criminal Conspiracy.
You need to drag her ass and her friends asses into criminal court.

ED

Unfortunately, she is not dumb--only a world class bitch.

As far as the percentages she gets, thank God it is based on my rank and years of service at the time of my divorce.

I have also found out that any VA disability I receive is not actually classified as retirement pay--so she can't get her meathooks on any of that.  I plan to be as "disabled" as humanly possible when it comes time to retire.

Also, the longer I wait to retire, the longer the leech has to wait to collect on anything.

If I'm lucky, I will outlive her ass!

In the end she gets 22% of what an E-6 with 13 years in service for retirement purposes receives.  At least my attorney was able to negotiate the percentage down.  It could have been as much as 33%.

It's incredible the percentages are actually on a chart in use by the courts (at least in ND where I was divorced):  "This many years marriage coupled with this many years of military service" = a certain percentage of your hard-earned retirment pay.

Oh well, so much for my sob story.

P.S.  When I went back to Panama in 97, I got married again.  [banghead] But this time I learned my lesson.  I will retire before I have been married to this one for 10 years.  Better safe than sorry!
[banana]

Ditto.  You're not alone dude!  

TheKill

Ever consider a Laci Peterson "fishing trip" with her?

Every timeI hear all of these sort of stories, I get so turned off with the idea of getting married.

Let's face it, despite the "equality" supposedly between the sexes, we males still get ran through the wringer.

Makes me happy I chose to not have kids, and the only way I will say "I Do" is with a signed, legally valid, prenup and a listof EVERYTHING I own in fine detail before we get married.

Hmmmmm......
VERY tempting......but no......she ain't worth the sweat off my ball sack.

I would probably do something stupid & get caught (like someone else who has been in the news lately).  Then I would end up being somone's bitch in jail for the rest of my life.

No thanks.  She is a cunt, but hopefully what goes around comes around (at least I can hope---right???)
[devil]

The divorce from my crazy-ass ex was rather messy too.  From the stalking and the phone calls every night.  After beating my dog senseless one night while we were married she decided to legally persue custody rights over the dog during the divorce because she knew it would break my heart.  She also wanted a 10 page document written by me apoligizing for leaving her and for being an "immoral SOB". Thank goodness for a kickass, cutthroat lawyer!!

The fuck if I will ever trust a woman again!!!

The easiest way to cure her of getting some of your active duty retirement is to guite the AF and join the Air Guard or reserves where you don't collect retirement till 60 .

The only problem with that is running into the "cutting off my nose to spite my face" territory.

I can't fuck her on that deal unless I fuck myself.

I can only hope the percentage on my VA disability is high!

Damn!  I guess I'm one lucky SOB!  In my divorce, I got everything and she didn't get squat!


 Vulcan94

I too am experiencing the joys of divorce.  My brain hurts from all the BS with the attorneys and what she wants, and what I gotta pay. I'd go into more detail, but I would rant too long.

As for:


A smart man with a few extra bucks would travel a few hundred miles from home, buy (in cash) a wood chipper and a POS boat (and a nice new Zodiac) head out about 50 miles with the Zodiac in tow and the wood chipper on the back deck.  BUZZ,,BUZZ,,,BUZZ.  Scuttle the POS boat and wood chipper in about 200 feet of water, drive the Zodiac back to within swimming distance of shore and scuttle it too.  Swim back to shore and drive away.

You guys are making me think about going gay...

Yeah no kidding. I used to think that being married would be nice. But then I heard about marriage from these guys, who are actually married.

Very sorry to hear all the horror stories.  This thread should be tacked as required reading for anybody even considering marrige.

There was this guy once that introduced his wife as his "first wife"

"Hi Bob. I would like you to meet my first wife, tina"

Tina would get PISSED every time he would say that.

A few year later he was introducing his "Second wife, Betty"

I guess somehow he knew.

I knew a guy who referred to his spouse as his 'future ex-wife'.

I feel for ya!

I'm in the system.. was supposed to be 'final' several months ago.. but the courts fucked up... had to reschedule till thursday...

THAT had better be the last day!!!!!!!!!


btw... the 'ex' called today "offering" to extend the court date if I needed time to get my case together (I"m the respondant).. (she's so kind)[puke]

LOL... yeah right.. I'm unemployed, my stocks are worth shit.. what better time to go in for the final blow?  "see ya in court"... hehe

Too bad I didn't meet you in '97 when the SHTF!
[devil]

my ex must have taken me seriously when I said I would rather do time than support her ass forever........