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Posted: 10/13/2004 6:00:10 AM EDT
You know how in movies a lot (I think it's kind of corny and cliche by now) fathers have a saying they always say to the son and somehow it is tied into the theme of the movie. Usually some feel good thing or moral instruction. Just wondering if anyone's father here actually had a unique thing they always said. Mine didn't.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:03:44 AM EDT
I said DO IT NOW, ya bastard. If you were working for me, I'd fire you.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:04:49 AM EDT

shut up.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:05:05 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:05:38 AM EDT
Every nite..when I went out........HEY!...NO DRINKIN!

yes dad...
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:05:54 AM EDT
"lay around f@ck around, I AINT WAITIN ON YOUR ASS!"
"i dont mind if you play the piano, but dont do it in the middle of the G@D D@MN ROAD!!" (only in traffic)

"If you arent doing things different by the time youre 18, i think you should grow a pony tail...SO YOU CAN PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!"

And the most recent one i hear:
"Your mom and i love you, and we're very proud. Be careful, and come home in one piece"
I don't mind hearing that one.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:06:08 AM EDT
Pop's two favorites:

"That really frosts my ass"


"Cut it out or I'm gonna kick your ass up between your shoulder blades".
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:06:49 AM EDT
"Shove it in her pooper and post pics."
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:07:36 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/13/2004 6:09:05 AM EDT by iNuhBaDNayburhood]
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:07:52 AM EDT
100 ata-boys and you can live here for free,.....one Aww-Shit wipes em all out.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:09:45 AM EDT
'A liar is worse than a thief...'
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:11:32 AM EDT
The two that I remember are:

“shit in one hand and want in the other”

“beggars can’t be choosers”
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:11:58 AM EDT
"If you never change your course in live, you'll end up where you're headed"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:14:35 AM EDT
"quit that monkey shines", he got that from my grandfather, I used to here my grandfather say that more than he did. They were always talking to me, not my siblings ...
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:17:00 AM EDT
Your ass is grass and I am the lawnmower.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:17:51 AM EDT
hold your water
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:19:54 AM EDT
"It just goes to show you..." ["it's always something", but that part's understood]

"With you women it's always a soap opera" - to my mom or three sisters.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:20:40 AM EDT

Originally Posted By TomJefferson:
"A deal is a deal."


That pretty much sums up law school TJ!
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:21:09 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/13/2004 6:24:19 AM EDT by 95thFoot]
"A place for everything, everything in its place."

"Jesus Christ on a crutch!"

"There's the right way, the wrong way, the Air Force way, and there's my way. Do it my way, and we'll all get along."

(I later found out he stole that from "The Caine Mutiny"...)

My mom's dad:

"Don't do as I do, do as I say."

"If a Soviet bomber pilot ever dropped an A-bomb on West Virginia, he'd be court-martialed for wasting government property." (He was from WV)

My dad's dad:

"Money is the only real friend you will ever have."

"A stick on the bottom, cheers the day up."

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:21:23 AM EDT
"step at a time" My pop

"We'll see" My pop
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:21:56 AM EDT
"If it's illegal to fantasize about teenage girls, we'd all be in jail."

He only said this once, but I use it all the time...
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:23:40 AM EDT
"Everyone likes ass, but no one likes a smart ass." Granddad
"You behave, but if you can't behave be careful." Granddad
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:26:00 AM EDT
mine would always say "Oh well"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:27:21 AM EDT
"Don't do as I do, do as I say"

"Get your head out of your ass!"

And, one that was actually helpful (after numerous attempts to disprove the theory)

"When using a knife, always cut away from any body parts that you want to keep permanently attached, dumbass."
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:28:00 AM EDT
"Quit your gasping! I didn't hit you that hard."
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:29:48 AM EDT
My Dad still says, "Always expect the worst. Anything less than that is a bonus!"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:30:39 AM EDT
And I quote, "God damn son of a bitchin' Arizona ragtime cowboy Joe."

My dad was pretty good at swearing, if need be.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:41:23 AM EDT
Your mom and me brought you into this world. We can take you out of it and make another kid that looks just like you.

Only had to say it to me once because I BELIEVED HIM!
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:46:21 AM EDT
When I say jump, you ask how high.

Dad wanted his word followed to the letter.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:47:05 AM EDT
"Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on ME."

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:50:50 AM EDT
Say you want something - "How does it feel to want?"

Ask a question - "It depends" - Usually followed by how much time or money

"Go ask your mother"

Luv ya dad

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:53:40 AM EDT
The only one that sticks in my mine comes from my grandfather. While in the hospital,one week before he died from cancer, he remarked about a nurse that had just left the room. "I'd drink a gallon of her piss just to watch her fill the jug".
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 6:55:31 AM EDT

"see ya"

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:02:40 AM EDT
"Stay away from women. They ain't nothin' but trouble."

I could certainly understand his perspective on that one.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:10:29 AM EDT
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:11:28 AM EDT
"You may be smarter, but I'm meaner."

"Youth and talent are no match for age and treachery."

"That really chaps my butt."

"No, I think liberals are born dumb."

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:12:28 AM EDT
"Remember son, if you sleep with a girl, you'll expose yourself to everyone she's slept with."
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:13:52 AM EDT
"Do good in school."
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:15:28 AM EDT
its only a scratch, it will grow shut before your asshole does.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:18:03 AM EDT

My old man enjoyed a pint or two He would tell me "Never lay your head on the bar...your finished then!" When drinking shots.."Check the booze..light a match and put it to the top of the shot glass if the booze don't light up the bastards watered down the bottle!"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:20:37 AM EDT
Nothing in this world is free

Meaning eveything will cost you somthing one way or the other.


Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:25:12 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/13/2004 7:27:04 AM EDT by Leisure_Shoot]
"Awww... GOD DAMNIT!"

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:29:24 AM EDT
"What did you learn from this"
My Grandfather
My best friend

Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:30:24 AM EDT
Regarding a woman's monthly cycle vs. a man's needs:

Remember boy, if the paint on the front porch is wet, go for the back door..
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:37:58 AM EDT
"When you go out in the rain... wear a raincoat." (condom)
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:39:56 AM EDT

"If 'if's' and 'but's' were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas!"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:40:19 AM EDT
"I stepped on a duck"

Oh how orig was that one, only man I ever hear say it.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:43:40 AM EDT
"If life was fair, there wouldn't be wheelchairs."

"When you lie to me, that makes me think that you think I'm stupid. And THAT fucking pisses me off!"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:44:23 AM EDT

"Never confuse your job with your life"
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 7:56:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/13/2004 10:30:03 AM EDT by thebeekeeper1]
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 8:03:32 AM EDT
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