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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:13:39 PM EDT
FUCK YOU IN YOUR AIDS INFESTED ASSHOLE YOU FUCKSTICKS! Why do you cock gobbling sons of whores insist upon designing a fucking booby trapped fucking vessel? Notice how the cute little cellophane type wrapper fits so snugly to the bottle:
 Attached FileYou and your merry band of ass-sucking marketing team members probably wasted eleventy billion fucking brain hours designing this piece of shit! You probably think that its ever so smooth and sleek don't you? No loose flapping wrappers here eh? Well, that may cut it on Madison Mother Fucking Avenue but real men keep their drinks correctly. In a motherfucking ice filled cooler in the bed of a by God pick-em-up truck. And when we pull a frosty fucking beverage out to enjoy we certainly expect to stay the fuck dry! BUT NOOOOOOOOOO!!!, you reach around artists have a trick up your fucking gay assed flannel skinny fucking hipster arm "filled" sleeves don't you? Your "sleek" design traps motherfucking melt water and dumps it on your khakis when you least expect it. JUST BECAUSE I'M THIRSTY DOESNT MEAN I SHOULD WALK AROUND THE OFFICE LOOKING LIKE I JUST PISSED MYSELF! If your got-damned brains weren't cooked from years baking in a fucking woolen beanie you would understand this simple fucking concept! I present exhibit B:  Attached FileI guess I should expect nothing less from a bunch of liberal, douchebag, half witted, jort wearing, pipeline protesting, fucking life long academics now should I? FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR CUCK PUSSIES! |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:00 PM EDT
[#1]
Real men drink beer.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:21 PM EDT
[#2]
2/10
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:33 PM EDT
[#3]
OP stop pissing on yourself
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:47 PM EDT
[#4]
Not bad. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:48 PM EDT
[#5]
Nice.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:17:00 PM EDT
[#6]
Whoa.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:17:45 PM EDT
[#7]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Real men drink beer. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:18:20 PM EDT
[#8]
My rant would be about the size. That bottle sells for what a quart used to.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:18:29 PM EDT
[#9]
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:19:45 PM EDT
[#10]
Always thought the same thing working in construction. Squeeze the bottle when you pick it up to get most of the water out 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:20:19 PM EDT
[#11]
The fact that they redesigned the bottom of the bottle to eliminate 2oz of delicious re-hydrating liquid yet maintain the illusion you are getting the same quantity as before rustles my jimmies more than the label.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:21:10 PM EDT
[#12]
If you're going to rant about a bottle design, make it a good one.
Fucking ketchup traditionalists are still churning out this stupid design: 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:21:45 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Real men drink beer. It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:23:39 PM EDT
[#14]
You just got ambushed by a f%^king bottle of Gatorade?
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:23:49 PM EDT
[#15]
Every hiker/backpacker I know uses Gatorade bottles to carry water. We love them. Then again, we know how to deal with the complexities of the bottle's design.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:24:17 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. I think you gotta be perpetually lit to keep bees. Just sayin' 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:25:19 PM EDT
[#17]
Although they are the last real plastic bottle. They make great ice packs. I hate the new paper thin plastic bottles now. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:25:39 PM EDT
[#18]
 
 Only because there's no 11/10.
Good Ranting OP. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:26:19 PM EDT
[#19]
Why keep a it in a cooler in your truck when you work in an office?
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:27:50 PM EDT
[#20]
8/10
-2 for the use of "CUCK". |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:29:12 PM EDT
[#21]
Nice, a few more "c" words would have raised that a solid point... |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:30:04 PM EDT
[#22]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Why keep a it in a cooler in your truck when you work in an office? I can look out of my office door and see the tailgate of my truck approximately 22' away. And because refrigerators are for pussies when you have a cooler, a truck, and an ice machine. (Also, office fridges are fucking nasty) |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:30:49 PM EDT
[#23]
Who has a ice chest full of sports drinks at the office?
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:31:23 PM EDT
[#24]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
2/10 Downgraded to a -100/10 for crying over the equivalent to spilled milk only it's fucking water trapped in between the bottle and wrapper. OP needs to ask his boyfriend to retrieve a drink from his cooler so that he can take the label off for him. That's a NEGATIVE 100 over a 10. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:32:02 PM EDT
[#25]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Who has a ice chest full of sports drinks at the office? Who lives in FL and doesn't keep a fully stocked cooler in their truck at all times? C'mon man, at least act like a native. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:32:15 PM EDT
[#26]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Real men drink beer. It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:33:37 PM EDT
[#27]
10/10 rant. I agree completely
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:34:02 PM EDT
[#28]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Downgraded to a -100/10 for crying over the equivalent to spilled milk only it's fucking water trapped in between the bottle and wrapper. OP needs to ask his boyfriend to retrieve a drink from his cooler so that he can take the label off for him. That's a NEGATIVE 100 over a 10. You sort of miss the point of rants here don't you? They are typically over relatively meaningless things. I mean, no one ever rants about finding out they have AIDS or learning they accidentally banged a tranny now do they? |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:34:44 PM EDT
[#29]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Okay--whiskey. Geez, picky bastard. I do have a loaded flask in my truck..... 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:35:07 PM EDT
[#30]
I'll give you an 8/10 because I've had it happen a lot. If you would have thrown in a few cunts and maybe a twatwaffle I'd give you a 9/10.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:35:57 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
fucking gay assed flannel skinny fucking hipster arm "filled" sleeves I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence? |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:36:06 PM EDT
[#32]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
You sort of miss the point of rants here don't you? They are typically over relatively meaningless things. I mean, no one ever rants about finding out they have AIDS or learning they accidentally banged a tranny now do they? Nope, I get rants. I'm sure you've missed some of mine. But come on....Water? It dries in like ten seconds.
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:36:39 PM EDT
[#33]
1/10.
Gatorade bottles are the only bottles that fit perfectly snug into my Ranger's cup holders. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:37:10 PM EDT
[#34]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Who lives in FL and doesn't keep a fully stocked cooler in their truck at all times? C'mon man, at least act like a native. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:37:49 PM EDT
[#35]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Real men drink bourbon. FIFY |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:38:03 PM EDT
[#36]
lol
Gatorade. Good rant though. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:38:10 PM EDT
[#37]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence? Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
fucking, gay assed flannel, skinny fucking, hipster arm "filled" sleeves I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence? |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:39:38 PM EDT
[#38]
lol
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:41:21 PM EDT
[#39]
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:43:55 PM EDT
[#40]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Real men drink beer. It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. If you've had the day I've had (arguing with the Corps) then a beer or 5 sounds good right now. As for your take on Gatorade bottles...I whole-heartedly agree. Must be a damn Nole fan trying to sabotage things. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:44:29 PM EDT
[#41]
10/10
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:45:17 PM EDT
[#42]
Meh
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:45:37 PM EDT
[#43]
But how are your electrolyte levels?
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:46:33 PM EDT
[#44]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
If you've had the day I've had (arguing with the Corps) then a beer or 5 sounds good right now. As for your take on Gatorade bottles...I whole-heartedly agree. Must be a damn Nole fan trying to sabotage things. USACE tried to pull a paint color change on me today after a color was already approved and ordered. Fortunately my EIT actually has some sense of reason and reality. (And those words will come back to bite me in the ass by the end of the week I'm sure) And I had my fill of adult beverages Friday nite. 
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:47:02 PM EDT
[#45]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
But how are your electrolyte levels? Elevated I'm sure. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:47:25 PM EDT
[#46]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Real men drink beer. It's 3:20 PM............... On Monday. eta: Damnit! Beat by The Fucking Beekeeper!
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:48:03 PM EDT
[#47]
Gaytoraidd.....H20..........3/10... OP so anrgy cuz he got all them teeth and no toothbrush
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:48:38 PM EDT
[#48]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Well, in that case it's time for Buffalo Fucking Trace!!!! I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:49:22 PM EDT
[#49]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Well, in that case it's time for Buffalo Fucking Trace!!!! I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask. Willett is good stuff. I save it for after dinner. |
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Posted: 2/13/2017 5:49:37 PM EDT
[#50]
10/10 just for the use of "reach around artist". I havent heard that one before.
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