Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
BCM
User Panel

Site Notices
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Posted: 2/13/2017 5:13:39 PM EDT
FUCK YOU IN YOUR AIDS INFESTED ASSHOLE YOU FUCKSTICKS!  Why do you cock gobbling sons of whores insist upon designing a fucking booby trapped fucking vessel?  Notice how the cute little cellophane type wrapper fits so snugly to the bottle:

Attachment Attached File


You and your merry band of ass-sucking marketing team members probably wasted eleventy billion fucking brain hours designing this piece of shit!  You probably think that its ever so smooth and sleek don't you?  No loose flapping wrappers here eh?  Well, that may cut it on Madison Mother Fucking Avenue but real men keep their drinks correctly.  In a motherfucking ice filled cooler in the bed of a by God pick-em-up truck.  And when we pull a frosty fucking beverage out to enjoy we certainly expect to stay the fuck dry!  BUT NOOOOOOOOOO!!!, you reach around artists have a trick up your fucking gay assed flannel skinny fucking hipster arm "filled" sleeves don't you?  Your "sleek" design traps motherfucking melt water and dumps it on your khakis when you least expect it.  JUST BECAUSE I'M THIRSTY DOESNT MEAN I SHOULD WALK AROUND THE OFFICE LOOKING LIKE I JUST PISSED MYSELF!  If your got-damned brains weren't cooked from years baking in a fucking woolen beanie you would understand this simple fucking concept!

I present exhibit B:

Attachment Attached File



I guess I should expect nothing less from a bunch of liberal, douchebag, half witted, jort wearing, pipeline protesting, fucking life long academics now should I?


FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!  FUCK YOU RIGHT IN YOUR CUCK PUSSIES!
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:00 PM EDT
[#1]
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:21 PM EDT
[#2]
2/10
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:33 PM EDT
[#3]
OP stop pissing on yourself
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:47 PM EDT
[#4]


Not bad.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:16:48 PM EDT
[#5]
Nice.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:17:00 PM EDT
[#6]
Whoa.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:17:45 PM EDT
[#7]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Real men drink beer.
View Quote
And not offended by the word "pussy"
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:18:20 PM EDT
[#8]
My rant would be about the size. That bottle sells for what a quart used to.


Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:18:29 PM EDT
[#9]
Has anyone at the office offered you a tampon?

Nevermind.......read that it was the water that spilled....not the gatorade
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:19:45 PM EDT
[#10]


Always thought the same thing working in construction. Squeeze the bottle when you pick it up to get most of the water out
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:20:19 PM EDT
[#11]
The fact that they redesigned the bottom of the bottle to eliminate 2oz of delicious re-hydrating liquid yet maintain the illusion you are getting the same quantity as before rustles my jimmies more than the label.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:21:10 PM EDT
[#12]
If you're going to rant about a bottle design, make it a good one.

Fucking ketchup traditionalists are still churning out this stupid design:

Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:21:45 PM EDT
[#13]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Real men drink beer.
View Quote



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:23:39 PM EDT
[#14]
You just got ambushed by a f%^king bottle of Gatorade?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:23:49 PM EDT
[#15]
Every hiker/backpacker I know uses Gatorade bottles to carry water. We love them. Then again, we know how to deal with the complexities of the bottle's design.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:24:17 PM EDT
[#16]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.
View Quote


I think you gotta be perpetually lit to keep bees.
Just sayin'
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:25:19 PM EDT
[#17]


Although they are the last real plastic bottle. They make great ice packs.

I hate the new paper thin plastic bottles now.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:25:39 PM EDT
[#18]


Only because there's no 11/10.

Good Ranting OP.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:26:19 PM EDT
[#19]
Why keep a it in a cooler in your truck when you work in an office?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:27:50 PM EDT
[#20]
8/10

-2 for the use of "CUCK".
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:29:12 PM EDT
[#21]


Nice, a few more "c" words would have raised that a solid point...
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:30:04 PM EDT
[#22]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Why keep a it in a cooler in your truck when you work in an office?
View Quote


I can look out of my office door and see the tailgate of my truck approximately 22' away.

And because refrigerators are for pussies when you have a cooler, a truck, and an ice machine.  (Also, office fridges are fucking nasty)
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:30:49 PM EDT
[#23]
Who has a ice chest full of sports drinks at the office?  
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:31:23 PM EDT
[#24]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
2/10
View Quote


Downgraded to a -100/10 for crying over the equivalent to spilled milk only it's fucking water trapped in between the bottle and wrapper. OP needs to ask his boyfriend to retrieve a drink from his cooler so that he can take the label off for him. That's a NEGATIVE 100 over a 10.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:32:02 PM EDT
[#25]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Who has a ice chest full of sports drinks at the office?  
View Quote


Who lives in FL and doesn't keep a fully stocked cooler in their truck at all times?

C'mon man, at least act like a native.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:32:15 PM EDT
[#26]
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:33:37 PM EDT
[#27]
10/10 rant. I agree completely
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:34:02 PM EDT
[#28]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Downgraded to a -100/10 for crying over the equivalent to spilled milk only it's fucking water trapped in between the bottle and wrapper. OP needs to ask his boyfriend to retrieve a drink from his cooler so that he can take the label off for him. That's a NEGATIVE 100 over a 10.
View Quote



You sort of miss the point of rants here don't you?  They are typically over relatively meaningless things.  I mean, no one ever rants about finding out they have AIDS or learning they accidentally banged a tranny now do they?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:34:44 PM EDT
[#29]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Okay--whiskey.  Geez, picky bastard.  
View Quote



I do have a loaded flask in my truck.....

Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:35:07 PM EDT
[#30]
I'll give you an 8/10 because I've had it happen a lot. If you would have thrown in a few cunts and maybe a twatwaffle I'd give you a 9/10. 
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:35:57 PM EDT
[#31]
Quoted:
fucking gay assed flannel skinny fucking hipster arm "filled" sleeves
View Quote


I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:36:06 PM EDT
[#32]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



You sort of miss the point of rants here don't you?  They are typically over relatively meaningless things.  I mean, no one ever rants about finding out they have AIDS or learning they accidentally banged a tranny now do they?
View Quote


Nope, I get rants. I'm sure you've missed some of mine. But come on....Water? It dries in like ten seconds.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:36:39 PM EDT
[#33]
1/10.

Gatorade bottles are the only bottles that fit perfectly snug into my Ranger's cup holders.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:37:10 PM EDT
[#34]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


Who lives in FL and doesn't keep a fully stocked cooler in their truck at all times?

C'mon man, at least act like a native.
View Quote
Yeah, with bottled water, beer, and monster.  But serious, who drinks sports drinks just chilling in the office?  They're for when you're sweating your ass off.  Some cold water dripping on you is a design feature.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:37:49 PM EDT
[#35]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Real men drink bourbon.
View Quote


FIFY
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:38:03 PM EDT
[#36]
lol

Gatorade.


Good rant though.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:38:10 PM EDT
[#37]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence?
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
fucking, gay assed flannel, skinny fucking, hipster arm "filled" sleeves


I think there needs to be a comma somewhere in this sequence?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:39:38 PM EDT
[#38]
lol
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:41:21 PM EDT
[#39]
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:43:55 PM EDT
[#40]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Real men drink beer.



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.


If you've had the day I've had (arguing with the Corps) then a beer or 5 sounds good right now.

As for your take on Gatorade bottles...I whole-heartedly agree. Must be a damn Nole fan trying to sabotage things.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:44:29 PM EDT
[#41]
10/10
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:45:17 PM EDT
[#42]
Meh
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:45:37 PM EDT
[#43]
But how are your electrolyte levels?
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:46:33 PM EDT
[#44]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


If you've had the day I've had (arguing with the Corps) then a beer or 5 sounds good right now.

As for your take on Gatorade bottles...I whole-heartedly agree. Must be a damn Nole fan trying to sabotage things.
View Quote


USACE tried to pull a paint color change on me today after a color was already approved and ordered.  Fortunately my EIT actually has some sense of reason and reality.  (And those words will come back to bite me in the ass by the end of the week I'm sure)


And I had my fill of adult beverages Friday nite.  
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:47:02 PM EDT
[#45]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
But how are your electrolyte levels?
View Quote


Elevated I'm sure.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:47:25 PM EDT
[#46]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Real men drink beer.



It's 3:20 PM...............


On Monday.
Well, in that case it's time for Buffalo Fucking Trace!!!!

eta: Damnit! Beat by The Fucking Beekeeper!
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:48:03 PM EDT
[#47]
Gaytoraidd.....H20..........3/10... OP so anrgy cuz he got all them teeth and no toothbrush
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:48:38 PM EDT
[#48]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Well, in that case it's time for Buffalo Fucking Trace!!!!
View Quote


I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:49:22 PM EDT
[#49]
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:


I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Quoted:
Quoted:
Well, in that case it's time for Buffalo Fucking Trace!!!!


I think I'm rocking some Willett in my flask.

Willett is good stuff. I save it for after dinner.
Link Posted: 2/13/2017 5:49:37 PM EDT
[#50]
10/10 just for the use of "reach around artist". I havent heard that one before.
Arrow Left Previous Page
Page / 2
Close Join Our Mail List to Stay Up To Date! Win a FREE Membership!

Sign up for the ARFCOM weekly newsletter and be entered to win a free ARFCOM membership. One new winner* is announced every week!

You will receive an email every Friday morning featuring the latest chatter from the hottest topics, breaking news surrounding legislation, as well as exclusive deals only available to ARFCOM email subscribers.


By signing up you agree to our User Agreement. *Must have a registered ARFCOM account to win.
Top Top