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Posted: 8/7/2005 3:00:33 PM EDT
This board has some similarity to Dear Abby, so I thought I would see what you guys and gals think of this situation.

I have two boys 19 and 14. They love to play online games with xbox live. The more shootin the better. They have a friend that is going to be 21 in December, and he is the focus of this dilema.

Let's call him Steve. Steve has not had any education beyond HS. Steve has yet to obtain his drivers licence. Steve has had several jobs of the retail nature and has never earned over 8 bucks an hour and was most recently fired from his hardware store job. Steve would remind you of Lenny from Mice and Men, though a tad smarter.

Steve is always over at my house playing xbox live. Most of the time he and the 14 year old are playing as my older boy has a full-time job and full-time college. Steve used to drink all my pop and eat whatever snacks he could find, ie; chips, popcorn etc... until I put my foot down and gave him a daily ration. Hell, my wife was havin him over for dinner nearly every damn night, too.

Here is the problem. I think Steve is a bum and we are enabling him to be a lazy ass as he has a refuge of our home. My wife feels sorry for him and likes that he plays with my younger boy. My younger boy has no lack of friends his own age, but Steve is over all the time and that causes my boy to be on that damn ebox way too much for my liking. My wife thinks I am being insensitive and got really pissed when I suggested that Steve be banned from the home until he got a job and his license. (we have offered to help him get his license).

What do you all think?
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:03:39 PM EDT
a) your Mice and Men reference will fly right by 99% of the posters here.

b) it's your damn house. Get rid of the xbox.

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:03:46 PM EDT
Kick his ass out.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:04:02 PM EDT
throw the xbox out the door or aciddently break it.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:04:12 PM EDT
Sounds like you need to claim him on your taxes.................
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:04:53 PM EDT
Trash the x box.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:05:04 PM EDT
BTW what is 'Pop'?
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:06:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By hanau:
throw the xbox out the door or aciddently break it.



throw the bum out first.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:06:42 PM EDT
Be a dad. Kick the scum bag out, and forbid him to have contact with your kids.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:07:39 PM EDT

Hell, my wife was havin him over for dinner nearly every damn night, too.



My wife thinks I am being insensitive and got really pissed when I suggested that Steve be banned from the home until he got a job and his license


This would make me nervous if I was you.

He sounds like a fuckup, kick him out and tell him to grow the fuck up and get a job and get friends his own age. His worthlessness will have an effect on your children.

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:08:12 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:11:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Dru:
BTW what is 'Pop'?

It's what yankees call coke. Also, they will say "soda"
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:11:57 PM EDT

Originally Posted By spm681:

Hell, my wife was havin him over for dinner nearly every damn night, too.



My wife thinks I am being insensitive and got really pissed when I suggested that Steve be banned from the home until he got a job and his license


This would make me nervous if I was you.her

He sounds like a fuckup, kick him out and tell him to grow the fuck up and get a job and get friends his own age. His worthlessness will have an effect on your children. That is one of my major concerns. He is a for shit role model and demonstrates how to get by instead of getting ahead.


Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:12:20 PM EDT
I think "steve" is a fucking loser and needs to be booted from your house ASAP!

He's hanging out with a 14 year old BOY for Christ'sakes.

OUT OUT OUT, FUCKING GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:13:31 PM EDT

Originally Posted By spm681:

Hell, my wife was havin him over for dinner nearly every damn night, too.



My wife thinks I am being insensitive and got really pissed when I suggested that Steve be banned from the home until he got a job and his license


This would make me nervous if I was you.

He sounds like a fuckup, kick him out and tell him to grow the fuck up and get a job and get friends his own age. His worthlessness will have an effect on your children.




After reading the above. Your wife might be providing dessert.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:14:23 PM EDT
Xbox must go....
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:15:35 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Bama-Shooter:

Originally Posted By spm681:

Hell, my wife was havin him over for dinner nearly every damn night, too.



My wife thinks I am being insensitive and got really pissed when I suggested that Steve be banned from the home until he got a job and his license


This would make me nervous if I was you.

He sounds like a fuckup, kick him out and tell him to grow the fuck up and get a job and get friends his own age. His worthlessness will have an effect on your children.




After reading the above. Your wife might be providing dessert.



and that might be the ARFCOM truth............
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:16:06 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NoVaGator:
a) your Mice and Men reference will fly right by 99% of the posters here.



Now that is downright insulting to the membership here.

+1 on kicking his butt to the curb.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:16:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Avtomat:

Originally Posted By Dru:
BTW what is 'Pop'?

It's what yankees call coke. Also, they will say "soda"



Yea I know just being a
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:16:53 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:17:47 PM EDT
Looks like you got yourself a tax deduction there.

Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:18:05 PM EDT
I wouldn't let a 21year old hang out with my 14 year old, a 19yo yes. I wouldn't let anyone eat all of my food, and drink all of the cokes in the house. If you think your boy is on the xbox to much, then he is and if this guy is contributing to it then you already know what needs to be done, and you are 100% right about the situation and how it's enabling to because a bum.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:18:45 PM EDT
Sounds like he is a Michael Jackson in the making.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:19:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By TheTacticalSolution:

Originally Posted By KA3B:
I think "steve" is a fucking loser and needs to be booted from your house ASAP!

He's hanging out with a 14 year old BOY for Christ'sakes.

OUT OUT OUT, FUCKING GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!





This pretty much sums it up. By the time I was 21 I was married with 1.5 kids and a pretty decent salary. It's hard to believe that he doesn't even have a drivers license. This guy really has some issues.



when I was 18 I was supporting a wife and two kids, he's a bum.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:21:06 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:38:56 PM EDT by 22bad]
A 21 year old healthy male without a drivers license hanging out with your 14 year old boy every day?
(ETA: AND he is unemployed?)

Nope, noooooo problem
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:21:10 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NoVaGator:
a) your Mice and Men reference will fly right by 99% of the posters here.

b) it's your damn house. Get rid of the xbox.




Awww George.,.....


Sgat1r5
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:21:33 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:22:29 PM EDT
Dear Peeved,

Killing silently is a tall order, but a quick look at an anatomy chart will show that the larynx is an easy enough target—providing you can make a stealthy submerged approach, sneak up on your victim, and catch him unaware. Once that's accomplished, grasp his hair as close to the scalp as you're able to and yank his head back while using your Ka-Bar combat knife to make a lateral cut across his throat. Make sure you sever both the carotid artery and jugular vein while piercing the windpipe, and press hard! The larynx is a tough, rubbery piece of tissue.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:23:09 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 3:26:30 PM EDT by VoodooChile]
Your probably seeing only the tip of the iceberg..You need to find your kids some other things to do besides play X-Box all day..your 19 year old is out of High School Right? Is he working or going to college? (Its summertime) Keep your kids too busy to play video games and hang around with fuckups..I always listen to my wife's opinion but occasionally I have to give her the (Shut the fuck up) look..Sorry that may not be very PC but it balances out when she makes out that list of honeydo's..
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:23:13 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:25:58 PM EDT
we are all in agreement

get him the F out of your home and away from your boy AND your wife
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:29:45 PM EDT

Originally Posted By diabolical_chicken:
we are all in agreement

get him the F out of your home and away from your boy AND your wife



You already knew this - get some balls and just do it.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:30:49 PM EDT
Steve is not a suitable role model or companion for your 14 year old.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:39:20 PM EDT
So drop a something on the x box, already -- This ain't "Miss Manners".
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 3:58:25 PM EDT

Originally Posted By NoVaGator:
a) your Mice and Men reference will fly right by 99% of the posters here.

b) it's your damn house. Get rid of the xbox.



I've been known to read a book or two. Gators ?
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:15:19 PM EDT
Buy him a pet mouse.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:16:59 PM EDT
Id be concerned too hes a POS and is very capable of taking your sons down that road
I knew a older guy ( co worker) very similar when i was in HS thought he was cool and fun to hang with (mainly cuz he had big ass keg parties at his apt all the time and i was underage ) after about a year i relaized that him and most of his buddies are POSs or became POSs pretty quickly and quit hanging out with them
this was 10 years ago he is pretty much the same way last time i saw him still working at the same grocery store not that that is bad but damn after 10 years he should at least be some sort of manager I mean i was after 1 year
Since he has no family you mentioned i persoanlly would maybe have a nice polite talk with him about being a POS and if that does make him uncomfertable enough to stop showing up
then get more confrontational
But wht the hell do i know
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:17:56 PM EDT
Get rid of the x-box.

Pointless waste of time.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:19:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:19:58 PM EDT by NimmerMehr]

Originally Posted By NoVaGator:
a) your Mice and Men reference will fly right by 99% of the posters here.

b) it's your damn house. Get rid of the xbox.




+1 .. Does Steve strangle puppies?
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:20:02 PM EDT
First of NoVaGator is underestimating the intelligence of this board.

The picture you paint is 'strange' at the very least, I can't help wondering if there is more to this 'Lenny' than you know, I would question his motivation for wanting to hang out with 14 yr. old kid this much, not to make it sound sinster but that is not normal.

Usually someone his age is looking to advance his independance and start making his own 'moves' not keeping a kid company.

Have you tried talking to him?? What are his goals or hopes for the future?? Offer him some 'fatherly' advice, put your foot down and limit his exposure to your kids, before he exposes them to more than they bargained for.......
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:20:04 PM EDT
Draw down on him.......and kick him to the curb!
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:26:10 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:26:54 PM EDT by TacticalMan]
"When you have them by the Xbox, their hearts and minds follow" er, well, something like that.

Get rid of the Xbox and your Videot (or is that spelled "Vidiot"?) problem will go away too.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:30:43 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:33:15 PM EDT by GwenInLA1]

Originally Posted By SteyrAUG:
Steve is not a suitable role model or companion for your 14 year old.



Limit the game time for heaven's sakes...son needs some other interests and activities.

If you need an 'excuse" to tell Steve the game is over...isn't school starting for your 14 yr old soon? Game time will be rationed when school starts, yes?

Meanwhile, I'd arrange a family vacation. Or send my 14 yr old off to camp or to visit family for a couple of weeks of excercise, game habit interference "cold turkey" At least get him off his butt and out to the range with you!

Plus... would enroll him in beginning martial arts, archery, or some type of activity that he can do his personal best in. The natural history and science museums here have some great programs that are really cheap, perhaps something like that would interest him. He may gripe and moan, remember you're the parent.

I'd talk to Steve's parents about this whole situation, too. Even if he is harmless, he needs to get on with his life and find companions closer to his age.

Gwen
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:33:28 PM EDT
Tell Steve, "Dude, yer getting a cell, or get the fuck out!"

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:34:05 PM EDT
At first read, I'd say get him the hell out of your house, and keep him away from your kids. But we all know that could lead to rebellion from your sons. Not a situation you want. Does Steve have an actual family of his own? Or is he by himself somehow. If he's floundering, without a purpose, would it be possible to convince him of the benefits of joining the military? Would they take him? Not that you'd want to consider it, but is Steve a good looking kid? Better yet, does the misses think he is? Bottom line, you've got to get him away from your family somehow. Best of luck to you brother.
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:39:01 PM EDT
Steve hanging around is not good for Steve, not good for your kids, and not good for your marriage. I'd be often coming home unexpectedly.


Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:43:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:45:42 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:46:09 PM EDT by TrashHeap]
Confront him and say, "No hard feelings Steve, I don't care to have you around my family anymore. Your lack of responsibility is setting a bad example to my kids and it's just time for you to leave and not come back. Please stay away from my 14 year old. I think it's best that way. Good bye".


If he has a problem with that. WELL..................................

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:47:47 PM EDT
Get rid of the 21-year-old, and suspend the XBox. It's still beautiful this time of year. You guys go shooting, biking, etc? Sounds like you should find some time for it. But don't break the XBox! If that crosses your mind, mail it to me!

Bored Grad Students for Xbox
C/O General Tso
Box 12234
New York, NY...

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:48:33 PM EDT

Originally Posted By starblazer:
At first read, I'd say get him the hell out of your house, and keep him away from your kids. But we all know that could lead to rebellion from your sons. Not a situation you want.

Does Steve have an actual family of his own? Or is he by himself somehow.
Yes, he has a Mom and she has a boyfriend. They own a home, not rich, not poor. Getting by.


If he's floundering, without a purpose, would it be possible to convince him of the benefits of joining the military? Would they take him?
Most of Steve's friends have already joined. I forbid my older son to join until he got at least his associates. He is studying criminal justice and wants to be a LEO

Not that you'd want to consider it, but is Steve a good looking kid?
To his Mom... Overweight and fucked up teeth.
Better yet, does the misses think he is?

Bottom line, you've got to get him away from your family somehow. Best of luck to you brother.

Link Posted: 8/7/2005 4:51:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/7/2005 4:54:45 PM EDT by HELOBRAVO]
It's your house, you should be the boss.
Steve is a bum and the example YOU (being the boss) are providing for your son.

Ask him to look at the pretty rabbits........

ETA: "Advice is what people ask for when they already know the truth but don't want to admit it."
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