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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 8/1/2005 3:52:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 3:54:48 PM EDT by m-dc]
Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious


Darwin Award Winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during

a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the

trigger again. This time it worked..... And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting

machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance

company. The company expecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look

for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was


3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare

to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver

went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He

then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that

the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception

wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries,

the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get

his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a

gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on

the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15. (If

someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd

just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze,

and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the

window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,

knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The

whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to

give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police

apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the

store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a

positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I

stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, demanded cash. The

clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without

a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't

available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle Street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the

scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled

sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline

and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake.

The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best

laugh he'd ever had.

Link Posted: 8/1/2005 4:03:05 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 8/1/2005 4:03:05 PM EDT by tc6969]
Oh please Not again!
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