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Posted: 4/12/2001 1:36:31 PM EDT
Just imagine walking through the desert for 3 days. Your mouth feels like it is full of cotton balls and you are dying of thirst. In the middle of nowhere, you come upon someone that is reclining on a lounge chair sipping on a tall frosty glass of water and decribing in excruciating detail about how cool and satisfying it is yet will not offer you a single measly drop! The GAW is driving me nuts!!!! Is it possible to die from a deficiency of the recommended daily allowance of poontang? Man, I think I am going to be the first case in history to do so and end up on that Autopsy show on HBO if I don't get some soon.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:39:30 PM EDT
Just remember bud, all the girls look pretty at closin` time!!!!!.....[heavy]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:45:38 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 4/12/2001 1:45:50 PM EDT by osprey21]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:45:50 PM EDT
Sounds like you need to get a grip - literally!
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:46:57 PM EDT
Imbrog|io, Just whip out the ol' McJergins![}:D] It's be all right. Save what little money you have for some Bush (master).
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:48:25 PM EDT
I sure hate it for ya
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:50:18 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:52:40 PM EDT
Osprey....sorry...if they look like two`s at ten, they still look like two`s at two....well....maybe three or four.....[heavy]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 1:57:57 PM EDT
Oh, I thought this was going to be another poor suffering soul in California that can't get a new AR. I feel their pain, but you are on your own buddy.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:09:35 PM EDT
Try to be patient as much as possible. Being to pushy or too direct tends to turn us off. Just trying to help. As for an immediate solution...I did like the wax on/ wax off approach.[:I]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:12:27 PM EDT
You people are getting mean. You really do want me to die from poontang deficiency syndrome (PDS). Each and everyone of you should be ashamed of yourselves. Just wait until one of you goes on John Edward's show. I am going block all of your crossed over relatives from coming through. So there.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:15:34 PM EDT
Hey pally....my 2nd cousin tkob whenever needs be....you too probably.......[pistol]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:19:25 PM EDT
Originally Posted By black&green: Osprey....sorry...if they look like two`s at ten, they still look like two`s at two....well....maybe three or four.....[heavy]
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hmm..maybe you're drinking the wrong kind of beer, on second thought maybe you're drinking the RIGHT kind of beer if it doesn't change 'em!
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:20:05 PM EDT
Hey Imbrog I think the next time the young lady tells you about her love life you need to just say "since your givin that thing to everybody else how bout sending some my way" The worst thing she can say is "no" She may surprise you
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:25:47 PM EDT
Best piece of advice I ever got was "If you're not having any fun, lower your standards!" I beleive it's time for you to lower your standards a notch or two. [:)]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:26:49 PM EDT
In my part of town, it`s not that hard to get....problem is...they give the gift that keeps on givin`.......[frag]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 2:46:47 PM EDT
You think that's bad Imbroglio? One time I visited a girlfriend who lives in San Francisco. I came down to spend the week with her, hadn't seen her in a few months when we spent many days and nights together in Hawaii. Anyway, looking forward to a week of fun, and the first thing she tells me when we get in the car is that she has taken a vow of celibacy for 6 six months. "Why didn't you tell me before I came down?" (I was really disappointed!) "Because then you probably wouldn't have came down to visit me." (she was right about that). Anyway, I had to sleep next to this very hot chick I wanted so bad for a week. I think that's the meanest, cruelest thing any girl has ever done to me.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 3:05:50 PM EDT
Man, at least you got to do other stuff with a womenz though. All I ever get is mean stares when I smile at them.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 3:10:52 PM EDT
Face it Imbrog|io you are a pussy who can't close the deal. Call 1-800-580-0866 and ask to speak to Tom. He'll set ya straight and will agree with me on this issue. That being said that you are a pussy, take the matter in your own hand and have a good time. [rail]Railgun....
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 3:12:16 PM EDT
All I ever get is mean stares when I smile at them.
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Maybe you should get your teeth fixed [:D]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 3:37:44 PM EDT
Damn just ask her out already. Take her somewhere have a drink loosen up and ask her back to your place. It doesn't sound like this girl will take much convicning to go home with you.
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 3:57:15 PM EDT
I keep stroking but nothing comes out! Why won't the white girls go out with me.??
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 4:02:41 PM EDT
My girlfriend just arrived from California and We have been doing the nasty continuously. she is trying like a trooper to improve her bj skills. Being the humanitarian that I am I am patiently letting her practice. Oh that's right...we were talking about your problem.... what was it again?
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 4:05:06 PM EDT
EEK!!! Imbroglio/Imbrog|io alert!!! Won't they implode or something if they occupy the same time-space thingie???
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 4:11:56 PM EDT
Maybe if you take a shower...
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 5:53:12 PM EDT
1-800-Escort, will fix you right up bro! [;)]
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 6:02:02 PM EDT
Maybe you should watch Tom Cruise's Seminar in the movie "Magnolia". "Respect The ***k" "Seduce & Destroy"
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 6:58:04 PM EDT
Hey Imb. what ever happend to that one post about someone trying to buy you a girlfriend?
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 7:31:45 PM EDT
Man, Imbrog|ia by the way you talk about your "poontang deficiency", makes you sound like you're butt ugly or something. Which, if you are, I have nothing but sympathy for ya of course, but nobody should suffer as much as you have. Speaking of looks, how about we start a post with pictures of ourselves, with or without our favorite "toy". In fact, I'll start a post now, which shall hereby be called "Pictures of you and your AR". It's about time the world should be graced with my handsome charm and luster, but with the gun toting skillz, that likes of only Charleton Heston and Bruce Campbell could ever compete with. Jew~
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 8:26:03 PM EDT
RE: "DAMM IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" Damm it, we can't take it anymore either! Post after post of unrequited lust and longing! And we dutifully send messages of understanding and encouragement and sympatico and more... Entreating you to get off your dick and make a move. But to no avail. I have a bottle of bubbly left over from New Years I was saving for the big celebration but by the time it happens, if it ever happens, it will be vinegar!
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 8:45:12 PM EDT
Talk to the GAW, tell her in a serious tone that you were at the doctor today and he diagnosed you with D.S.B.(deadly semen backup) and if you dont get help soon something terrible may happen, Its worked before, at least till the novelty wears off, or hell, just ask her for pitty sex, she sounds like the type
Link Posted: 4/12/2001 9:16:41 PM EDT
ChaZ, Very funny.. you got the gift!
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 10:24:51 AM EDT
Alcohol!!! I never went to bed with an ugly woman, but I sure woke up with some.
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 10:31:06 AM EDT
Imbroglio, Same thing I said on another post.. whining about not getting any is a total turnoff.
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 10:35:17 AM EDT
I am sorry but I am just trying to be open and honest in this relationship.
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 10:41:42 AM EDT
There's some therapist who said, "If you ever find yourself bored, you are a boring person." Translation: Learn to enjoy your life. Pursue your interests outside of whining about your lack of a sex life. Are you someone that [i]you[/i] would enjoy hanging out with? When you honestly look at yourself do you suck the life out of a party? If noone is sleeping with you it is because you are not the person they want to sleep with. What do you think women are attracted to? Become that person they want to sleep with... You said you wanted honesty...
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 11:21:18 AM EDT
No Miss M, I think he said he wanted something, ahem,,,,else. Honesty bedamned, Imbrog[io, its time you started prevaricating. Hell, it sounds like even HiramRanger gets laid once in awhile. It sure must suck being you.
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 12:08:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 12:50:43 PM EDT
Why not visit Rosie and her 4 sisters. My all time favorite is Ms. Shopvac, she can suck the chrome off bumpers. Since she will be used in the wet mode, remove the dusk filter [:D]
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 2:01:54 PM EDT
The GAW just told me that she is already making the beast with 2 backs with some howdy doody she found on the net a week ago. I am at a very critical juncture in my life right now and I am quickly approaching the mark of 11 years remaining.
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 2:24:47 PM EDT
Imbrog|io - If this girl is as much of a slut as she sounds like she is, she must not have much in the way of values or anything like that. Why don't you just just hook up with her anyway. You just need to negotiate with her. Explain your "poontang deficiency" and how if you don't get some you will get DSB and die. Tell her you are willing to compensate her for being such a caring person and would be willing to pay her cash money. So you would be giving her a couple green backs for "making the beast with 2 backs" with you. In other words you are just exchanging one type of back for another, and it is not prostitution. If she insists that you are treating her like a whore just tell her that you won't pay her if it makes her feel better, but you need to get a piece of that ass. Besides with the number of partners she has had in the last couple months what does she care if shes doing 2 guys at the same time, as long as it isn't at the same time. [sex]
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 6:32:28 PM EDT
Why don't you try the honest approach? Offer her money for sex!
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 6:51:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 6:52:24 PM EDT
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 7:05:28 PM EDT
I think it's time! Imbrog you have to pay for the pussy,your driving the board nuts.Or rent a good movie and beat the shit out of it!!
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 7:20:43 PM EDT
I broached the subject of commercial sex for Imbrog|io recently and he rebuffed the notion with some BS about "friendship and companionship" I hope he's not gay, not that there would be anything wrong with that.. The only other advise I can think of at this point would be to casually lick your eyebrow and look sensitive when in the presence of such a "keeper" of the female persuasion..
Link Posted: 4/13/2001 7:35:10 PM EDT
When I talked to the GAW today she started telling me how she never used to do things like this before. Aparently, her dad was an alcoholic and just plain treated her and mom like crap and that could be why she is acting this way now. I swear I thought she was going to start crying when she was telling me all of this. And I AM NOT GAY because I am probably one of the most unhappy people you would ever know. The "friendship and companionship" thing is for real. I ain't no spring chicken like you all on here and I don't have much time left to play head games with womenz.
Link Posted: 4/14/2001 8:43:46 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Noname: EEK!!! Imbroglio/Imbrog|io alert!!! Won't they implode or something if they occupy the same time-space thingie???
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We shall see....
Link Posted: 4/14/2001 10:13:13 AM EDT
[red][size=6]THERE'S 3 OF THEM NOW!!![/size=6][/red]
Link Posted: 6/14/2001 6:20:45 PM EDT
Take a trip to Texas, if you can't get laid there it's hopeless.
Link Posted: 6/14/2001 6:47:17 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 6/14/2001 7:08:13 PM EDT by sigman]
Look at it this way as long as she isn't giving you ANY, then she isn't giving you ANYTHING. With as many "lovers" as she has had she is probaly hotter than the CDC level 3 bio-lab.
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