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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:43:42 PM EDT
I'm glad someone finally found a way to feel connected to their child.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:44:51 PM EDT
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:45:15 PM EDT
mankind is doomed. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:45:18 PM EDT
Quoted:
After six days of healing and bonding, we woke up one morning to find our baby Ulysses had gripped hold of the cord and detached it by himself, leaving a neat and healthy-looking belly button. I have this hilarious image in my head of an annoyed looking baby sitting up in bed next to his sleeping mother, thinking to himself, "Goddamn hippie, I'll do it myself..." and yanking the cord off. 
Also, Quoted:
Other animals chew the cord off shortly after birth, but as a vegan, this option did not appeal to me. That's why we have these: 
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:47:16 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
mankind is doomed. Their kind is doomed. It's self-limiting. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:47:35 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
I have this hilarious image in my head of an annoyed looking baby sitting up in bed next to his sleeping mother, thinking to himself, "Goddamn hippie, I'll do it myself..." and yanking the cord off. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
After six days of healing and bonding, we woke up one morning to find our baby Ulysses had gripped hold of the cord and detached it by himself, leaving a neat and healthy-looking belly button. I have this hilarious image in my head of an annoyed looking baby sitting up in bed next to his sleeping mother, thinking to himself, "Goddamn hippie, I'll do it myself..." and yanking the cord off. Same thought I had! Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:49:04 PM EDT
In the interest of being more natural I will not pinch off my next turd, but let it follow me around until such time as it decides to break free.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:49:21 PM EDT
What the fuck?
So the hippies think leaving the placenta attached until it rots off of the baby is healthy??? 
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:52:49 PM EDT
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:53:28 PM EDT
Really, modern medicine has enabled a lot of these lunatics to do things that should kill them or their children.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:53:57 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted: I'm glad someone finally found a way to feel connected to their child. When he's a little older they can fling feces together. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:54:51 PM EDT
Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree.
Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:59:31 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree. Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right?? 
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Posted: 10/29/2013 9:59:34 PM EDT
Is there any like, nutritional, or maybe you know, medical reason doing it would be a benefit?
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:00:18 PM EDT
Waterproof pouches and stretchy wraps, just like nature!
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:00:30 PM EDT
Maybe it balances your chi.
That's totally why monkeys do it. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:02:18 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right??
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree. Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right??
You have to lick the baby clean so the predators don't smell it. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:03:39 PM EDT
However the heck wandering around with a 3 pound chunk of rotting meat and blood attached to your kid is healthy or natural or whatever
is way out of my pay grade. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:05:27 PM EDT
This is a heartwarming story of multicultural enrichment and connecting with nature. It's something we all should strive for!
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:06:06 PM EDT
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Is there any like, nutritional, or maybe you know, medical reason doing it would be a benefit? THAT'S JUST SORCERY!! |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:09:08 PM EDT
Well, it's better than eating it.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:12:56 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted: You have to lick the baby clean so the predators don't smell it. Quote HistoryQuoted: Quoted: Quoted: Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree. Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right?? You have to lick the baby clean so the predators don't smell it. You also have to lick it's butt until it poops for the first time. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:15:57 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
You also have to lick it's butt until it poops for the first time. Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree. Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right??
You have to lick the baby clean so the predators don't smell it. You also have to lick it's butt until it poops for the first time. Many kinds of animal will eat the poop until a certain time, too. As for the hippies.... Leaving dead tissue attached to the kid seems like a spectacular idea.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:16:31 PM EDT
Fuck that. I watched them pull the placenta out of my wife. Looked like those fucking face sucking aliens from the alien franchise. Fucking nasty.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:17:57 PM EDT
Nature intended you to die from a tooth infection too. Are you going to just roll with that lady?
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:18:34 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right??
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Quoted:
Maybe next time REALLY do it like a chimpanzee...in the middle of the forest, hours from emergency help, and drop that kid out in the dirt at the base of a tree. Let's not half-ass it with a house, running water, and electricity. Then maybe a tiger or some other predator will come around and eat mom and baby during birth, its all part of the circle of life right??
I support the release of lions, tigers and bears among populations of hippies/vegans/antigunners. Videotape the results with drones, put it on PPV and let's solve the debt crisis and the stupid crisis all at once. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:25:16 PM EDT
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Really, modern medicine has enabled a lot of these lunatics to do things that should kill them or their children. These people don't embrace modern medicine. She left her fucking placenta inside her for 5 hours until she queefed it out. Sounds like a pretty good way to end up dead or in an OR getting an emergency D&C. These people will do their hippy shit until one of them kills their kid and then society will fuck them over and set this shit straight, like the lady who is on trial for negligent homicide because her vegan diet didn't give her breast milk the nutrients her baby needed to survive. It sucks that a baby has to die to set this shit straight, but beating hippies with bars of soap is apparently frowned upon. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:28:57 PM EDT
Lotus birth
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Lotus birth is the practice of leaving the umbilical cord uncut after childbirth so that the baby is left attached to his/her placenta until the cord naturally separates at the umbilicus, usually a few days after birth.[1] Lotus births are rare in Western culture. There is no evidence that there are any benefits for the health of the baby with lotus birth. A spokesman for the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists (RCOG) has stated, "If left for a period of time after the birth, there is a risk of infection in the placenta which can consequently spread to the baby. The placenta is particularly prone to infection as it contains blood. At the post-delivery stage, it has no circulation and is essentially dead tissue," and the RCOG strongly recommends that any baby that undergoes lotus birthing be monitored closely for infection. |
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:30:46 PM EDT
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:32:31 PM EDT
Oh my god... It really is devolution... Next that bitch will be swinging from a tree and ripping the face off of people.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:33:23 PM EDT
Quote History Quoted:
In the interest of being more natural I will not pinch off my next turd, but let it follow me around until such time as it decides to break free.   
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:44:17 PM EDT
If she can just raise him exactly like a chimp, maybe he'll grow up and rip a lady's face off, or maybe rip a guy's balls off and eat them. Just a proud mom
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:47:56 PM EDT
i'm kinda grossed out.
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Posted: 10/29/2013 10:57:38 PM EDT
I would imagine the risk of infection is high.
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