Warning

 

Close

Confirm Action

Are you sure you wish to do this?

Confirm Cancel
Member Login

Posted: 5/19/2005 10:53:39 AM EDT
Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.


5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

Link Posted: 5/19/2005 10:57:44 AM EDT
dihydrogen oxide kills thousands of children every year. Let's ban it.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:00:18 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DLoken:
dihydrogen oxide kills thousands of children every year. Let's ban it.



And it's deadly in all forms: solid, liquid as well as gas!
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:02:34 AM EDT
Some of you get it right, good to know
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:08:03 AM EDT
Another stupid, illogical, irrational analogy.

Would you please show use the group that does not use bread… For the comparison.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:08:57 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DLoken:
dihydrogen oxide kills thousands of children every year. Let's ban it.



But it's so fun to play with.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:09:56 AM EDT
Sorry, but it is a dupe

Link

Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:12:22 AM EDT
This guy got in before the ban!!!!!

Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:13:14 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:14:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DLoken:
dihydrogen oxide kills thousands of children every year. Let's ban it.


http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:15:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Mantis_51:

Originally Posted By KangarooAR-15A3:
This guy got in before the ban!!!!!

rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=dangerous+bread/v=2/SID=e/TID=I031_87/l=IVS/SIG=132ioqjsi/EXP=1114546266/*-http%3A//webphysics.nhctc.edu/webphysics/workshop97/Team12/quizf1/gifs/bread.jpg



You posted that same thing up on my thread



Yep this thread is a dupe, had to use my "in befo da bred ban" pic somewhere.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:16:01 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2005 1:10:48 PM EDT by nightstalker]
Seriously, our health would improve a lot with LESS BREAD. It's a prime cause of obesity, along with sloth.



Anyone have a really big can of Spam?
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:17:08 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KangarooAR-15A3:

Originally Posted By Mantis_51:

Originally Posted By KangarooAR-15A3:
This guy got in before the ban!!!!!

rds.yahoo.com/S=96062883/K=dangerous+bread/v=2/SID=e/TID=I031_87/l=IVS/SIG=132ioqjsi/EXP=1114546266/*-http%3A//webphysics.nhctc.edu/webphysics/workshop97/Team12/quizf1/gifs/bread.jpg



You posted that same thing up on my thread



Yep this thread is a dupe, had to use my "in befo da bred ban" pic somewhere.



Of course no better place than here

IBTBB or IBDBB
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:22:48 AM EDT
bumped so we have 2 bread threads going at the same time
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:27:41 AM EDT
Haha... OK it's a dupe, but I thought my title would be particularly relavent today
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:31:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SNorman:
Haha... OK it's a dupe, but I thought my title would be particularly relavent today



Well only if it had Star Wars in it, but KangarooAR-15A3 has that covered.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:37:04 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Mantis_51:

Originally Posted By SNorman:
Haha... OK it's a dupe, but I thought my title would be particularly relavent today



Well only if it had Star Wars in it, but KangarooAR-15A3 has that covered.



There is no bread in Star Wars..... doesnt this bother you????

Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:38:37 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:42:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KangarooAR-15A3:

Originally Posted By Mantis_51:

Originally Posted By SNorman:
Haha... OK it's a dupe, but I thought my title would be particularly relavent today



Well only if it had Star Wars in it, but KangarooAR-15A3 has that covered.



There is no bread in Star Wars..... doesnt this bother you????




I find the lack of bread disturbing
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 11:57:25 AM EDT
Sloths are good with bread...


Originally Posted By nightstalker:
Seriously, our health would improve a lot with LESS BREAD. It's a prime cause of obesity, along with sloth.

Link Posted: 5/19/2005 1:12:02 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2005 1:12:44 PM EDT by nightstalker]

Originally Posted By KA3B:
Sloths are good with bread...


Originally Posted By nightstalker:
Seriously, our health would improve a lot with LESS BREAD. It's a prime cause of obesity, along with sloth.




..... you are what you eat.
Link Posted: 5/19/2005 1:14:51 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/19/2005 1:14:51 PM EDT by The_Beer_Slayer]
spam
Top Top