Couple of questions about Chuck Norris.

[ARCHIVED THREAD] - Couple of questions about Chuck Norris.

Posted: 2/14/2006 8:49:58 AM EDT

If Chuck Norris's dog had fleas, would he round house kick them off,bairly grazing his dog just hard enough to kill the fleas or what?
Another question started by another thread. What does Chuck Norris use to lube his AR? Would it be the blood of his enemies or his sweat? Certainly, Chuck cleans and lubes his AR right?
Lastly,when building say a house or a torture chamber,would Chuck Norris pound in the nails with a hammer or would he just use his fists? Or would he just look at them and they would drive themselves in?
Thank you for clearing these up for me.

Posted: 2/14/2006 8:52:35 AM EDT

[#1]

If Chuck Norris' dog had fleas, Chuck Norris would just eat the dog.

Chuck Norris' AR cleans and lubes itself.

I'm not sure about the nails.

Posted: 2/14/2006 8:54:04 AM EDT

[#2]

Quoted:
If Chuck Norris' dog had fleas, Chuck Norris would just eat the dog.

Chuck Norris' AR cleans and lubes itself.

I'm not sure about the nails.

Ahhh,well two out of three ain't bad or so I've heard.

Posted: 2/14/2006 8:56:09 AM EDT

[#3]

Quoted:
If Chuck Norris's dog had fleas, would he round house kick them off,bairly grazing his dog just hard enough to kill the fleas or what?

Chuck looked at several breeds but none had appropriate attributes to match his badness. He genetically combined a wolverine and a Komodo Dragon and now has a pet to come home to. He calls this abomination "Mittens"

Another question started by another thread. What does Chuck Norris use to lube his AR? Would it be the blood of his enemies or his sweat?

Chuck Norris lubes his AR with the tears of a million children. Once lubed thusly, it will run more reliably than an AK and have the KnockDown Power of a roundhouse kick focused to the point of the bullet. Chuck Norris has shot stars out of the sky with this rifle.

Certainly, Chuck cleans and lubes his AR right?

He has Lou Ferrigno do it. In Hulk makeup.

Lastly,when building say a house or a torture chamber,would Chuck Norris pound in the nails with a hammer or would he just use his fists? Or would he just look at them and the would drive themselves in?
Thank you for clearing these up for me.

Chuck Norris needs no torture chamber. Just a stare and perhaps him rubbing his beard thoughtfully is all it takes to make someone sing like a canary.

Posted: 2/14/2006 9:04:37 AM EDT

[#4]

Quoted:
Quoted:
If Chuck Norris's dog had fleas, would he round house kick them off,bairly grazing his dog just hard enough to kill the fleas or what?

Chuck looked at several breeds but none had appropriate attributes to match his badness. He genetically combined a wolverine and a Komodo Dragon and now has a pet to come home to. He calls this abomination "Mittens"

Another question started by another thread. What does Chuck Norris use to lube his AR? Would it be the blood of his enemies or his sweat?

Chuck Norris lubes his AR with the tears of a million children. Once lubed thusly, it will run more reliably than an AK and have the KnockDown Power of a roundhouse kick focused to the point of the bullet. Chuck Norris has shot stars out of the sky with this rifle.

Certainly, Chuck cleans and lubes his AR right?

He has Lou Ferrigno do it. In Hulk makeup.

Lastly,when building say a house or a torture chamber,would Chuck Norris pound in the nails with a hammer or would he just use his fists? Or would he just look at them and the would drive themselves in?
Thank you for clearing these up for me.

Chuck Norris needs no torture chamber. Just a stare and perhaps him rubbing his beard thoughtfully is all it takes to make someone sing like a canary.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......*breaths in*............BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........
Oh ok, I see. I was just curious. Thanks feller!

Posted: 2/14/2006 9:05:13 AM EDT

[#5]

Shut the fuck up with this allready

Posted: 2/14/2006 9:08:56 AM EDT

[#6]

I can imagine about half of ARFCOM swinging from their belts if Chuck ever comes out of the closet.

Posted: 2/14/2006 9:11:46 AM EDT

[#7]

Quoted:
I can imagine about half of ARFCOM swinging from their belts if Chuck ever comes out of the closet.

If Chuck Norris ever came out of the closet, "Gay" would be the new "Straight", and men would begin bearing children.

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:44:40 PM EDT

[#8]

Quoted:
Shut the fuck up with this allready

Lick my balls.

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:46:14 PM EDT

[#9]

Quoted:
Shut the fuck up with this allready

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:47:28 PM EDT

[#10]

Quoted:

If Chuck Norris ever came out of the closet, "Gay" would be the new "Straight", and men would begin bearing children.

Chuck Norris has taken, or will take the virginity of every man and woman on earth. If you think that's impossible because you're already not a virgin, you're up for quite a suprise.

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:48:08 PM EDT

[#11]

I think you all are gay for loving another man so much.

Flamers

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:51:00 PM EDT

[#12]

If Chuck Norris got arthritis and couldn't do the stunts for Walker Texas Ranger any more, what would he do?

Hire my old MMA teacher.

Posted: 3/2/2006 1:51:34 PM EDT

[#13]

Goat ballz

Posted: 3/3/2006 7:23:48 AM EDT

[#14]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I can imagine about half of ARFCOM swinging from their belts if Chuck ever comes out of the closet.

If Chuck Norris ever came out of the closet, "Gay" would be the new "Straight", and men would begin bearing children.

ha ha ha ha ......

Posted: 3/3/2006 7:26:13 AM EDT

[#15]

Quoted:
I think you all are gay for loving another man so much.

Flamers

I concur. Where did all this chuck norris crap come from anyway? The man show?

Posted: 3/3/2006 7:40:01 AM EDT

[#16]

Quoted:
Quoted:
I think you all are gay for loving another man so much.

Flamers

I concur. Where did all this chuck norris crap come from anyway? The man show?

The faggotry is strong in these man-love for Chuck threads.

Posted: 3/3/2006 7:49:32 AM EDT

[#17]

For most people, home is where the heart is. For Chuck Norris, home is where he stores his collection of human skulls.

Posted: 3/3/2006 8:00:07 AM EDT

[#18]

Jack Bauer want's to know who this "chuck" guy is

.....

Posted: 3/3/2006 8:08:23 AM EDT

[#19]

Quoted:
Jack Bauer want's to know who this "chuck" guy ishr

Would that be the Jack Bauer With Special Fairy Limp-Wristed Pistol-Grip StanceTM?

BC

Posted: 3/3/2006 9:20:58 AM EDT

[#20]

Do you suppose Chuck gets a cut of these sales ?

Posted: 3/3/2006 9:25:29 AM EDT

[#21]

Chuck lube an AR? Yeah, right. Chuck doesn't use such a fragile weapon, he uses an AK so that he doesn't have to clean, lube, or baby it after each time he uses it.

Posted: 3/3/2006 5:43:08 PM EDT

[#22]

Quoted:
Quoted:
Quoted:
I think you all are gay for loving another man so much.

Flamers

I concur. Where did all this chuck norris crap come from anyway? The man show?

The faggotry is strong in these man-love for Chuck threads.

Yeah, but where did all this faggotry come from?