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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/28/2005 8:46:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 8:49:53 AM EDT by Hokie]
Do YOU have any of these dips that work with you???!!!

It's the only way I can explain his behavior. I've never met someone completely devoid of humor, sarcasm, wit, compassion, and unwilling to think of the world outside their little box. Accountants have the personality that rivals a soggy loaf of bread.

We submit weekly credit card expediture reports that accompany our issued cards. It's how we track costs, pay the bills, etc.....

A couple weeks ago I took a client out to lunch at a two-bit lobster shack in Maine. Had an AWESOME plate of fried scallops, so I tipped the waitress 4 bucks on a 5 dollar plate. Wrote the tip down on the credit card sheet at the register.

For some reason or another, the Lobster Shack processed the tip twice by accident - it happens I guess. So I get this email from Hitler Jr. saying I need to get this $4 charge resolved. I sorta laughed and wrote him back saying:

"This is ridiculous." I'd spend more in billable time seeing the issue through than it would to just write it off as a .... $4 loss. This didn't go over well and he repeated himself.

So I write back and ask him if he'd rather me spend a hundred bucks worth of overhead, gas, and tolls for me to get the $4 back. He said simply...."This matter must be resolved."

I'd feel embarassed to hound the poor ol lady at the Lobster Shack for $4 when we're a 6-Mil / Year company. So I emailed Hitler Jr. and told him I'd send him the $4 via internal company mail.

So I went out to my truck where I keep my loose change and counted 400 pennies (including 1 Canadian) and put them all in an envelope addressed to him.

...



I walked by his office just a minute ago and heard him muttering to himself....and I quote:

"Well well....it seems somebody has an attitude problem"

Just as he said that, the envelope must have ripped open and all 400 pennies dropped and scattered across the tile floor like a bunch of marbles, to which he sharply said:

"Oh dern it all to heck. Some went under the bookshelf. <grumble grumble> This is ridiculous."


I did all I could to hold my laughter till I rounded the corner.



I don't know why I feel so truely satisfied....but I do. I can't wait for him to tell me he's 3 cents short! I could really enjoy making it a full time job to mess with the accounting department!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:49:23 AM EDT
hahaha, karma is a bitch.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:51:59 AM EDT
I hate that,

Its like when someone gets a degree (sometimes) that they switch off ye olde common sense engine.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:53:14 AM EDT
Humorless toad. You should have given him 401 pennies. That would've made his head explode.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:54:31 AM EDT
Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking. Just a moment.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:55:33 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 8:59:39 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:04:23 AM EDT by SHIVAN]
The other side of that coin is the PhD's who can't fill out an expense report properly. Unduly burdening a poor little accounts payable clerk with a reconciling nightmare.

Self-important PhD to accounts payable clerk, "I'm not sure I can help you figure out what I charged. I wrote down the total I spent. If you can't figure it out from the card statement, maybe talk to your boss."

It goes both ways. There are billable idiots, just as well as overhead idiots.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:01:38 AM EDT
Unfortunately, accountants aren't comedians, and their job is numbers, so when stuff is not balanced or receipts don't match, tensions run high. Nothing you can do about it.

And how would it be overhead etc for you to get the $4 back, call the restaurant, explain the situation, fax them a receipt etc, and I'm sure they'd have given back the $4.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:04:45 AM EDT
Its not usuallly a good idea to alienate people you work with; who knows if this beancounter might end up being CFO of the company some day & remember your pettiness.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:10:56 AM EDT
My favorite:

Dumbass employee to payroll clerk, "I don't have time to fill out my timecard every day. I certainly don't have time to sign it before 3pm on Fridays. You all will have to do something else to accomodate my timecard."

CFO to dumbass employee, "Thank you for enlightening us as to your situation. We'll be certain to set your timecard aside from the normal processing. When you get time to complete it, we'll issue you a paycheck. Otherwise we'll assume that you are too busy, and don't need the money just yet. Thanks."

Dumbass employee doesn't miss the 3pm deadline anymore.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:20:02 AM EDT
Ask him what policy gets violated if you're missing $4 in receipts. Also ask if they have de minimis policies that allow them to ignore minor fluctuations in receipts. Usually the bigger companies are,and the closer the accountants are to corporate policy makers, the less flexible they become.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:21:31 AM EDT

Originally Posted By w4klr:
Unfortunately, accountants aren't comedians, and their job is numbers, so when stuff is not balanced or receipts don't match, tensions run high. Nothing you can do about it.

And how would it be overhead etc for you to get the $4 back, call the restaurant, explain the situation, fax them a receipt etc, and I'm sure they'd have given back the $4.



Cause time invested to do what you just said would cost the company a LOT more than $4, and Hokie aint' doing this nonsense on his own time. I'd rather pay out $4....hence the envelope of coins! Counting 400 pennies took some of my own time....but I enjoyed it.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:21:52 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Ask him what policy gets violated if you're missing $4 in receipts. Also ask if they have de minimis policies that allow them to ignore minor fluctuations in receipts. Usually the bigger companies are,and the closer the accountants are to corporate policy makers, the less flexible they become.




Our policy is no receipts necessary for <$50.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:29:05 AM EDT

Originally Posted By KC_MO_shooter:
Its not usuallly a good idea to alienate people you work with; who knows if this beancounter might end up being CFO of the company some day & remember your pettiness.




If he were to rise up into the upper echelon of company management, I'd find another company to work for.

I refuse to be associated with the 3rd Reich.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:30:05 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:32:01 AM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By SHIVAN:

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Ask him what policy gets violated if you're missing $4 in receipts. Also ask if they have de minimis policies that allow them to ignore minor fluctuations in receipts. Usually the bigger companies are,and the closer the accountants are to corporate policy makers, the less flexible they become.




Our policy is no receipts necessary for <$50.



Over here....you'd have to move that decimal point about three spaces to the left
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:32:47 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 9:33:02 AM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By TheRedGoat:
Wait till you bring the dozer crew over to pile up all his stuff.

TRG





I would in a heartbeat, but he'd bill me for the clean up!!!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:53:10 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 10:01:03 AM EDT by wildearp]
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.

My current company is worse. They require a receipt for everything and had time to give me grief over $8 worth of mileage to the airport, even though daily parking there costs many times more, and the shuttle costs $24. What fucking pricks!!!


They even used mapquest with my address to see where I could have driven from. IRS allows $0.45 per mile, however we were only paid $0.22. I recently complained and they bumped it to $0.30, but didn't notify anybody else in the company, so they only have to pay $0.22 to those who continue to submit mileage claims. Lovely!
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 9:55:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wildearp:
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.

My current company is worse. They require a receipt for everything and had time to give me grief over $8 worth of mileage to the airport, even though daily parking there costs many times more, and the shuttle costs $24. What fucking pricks!!!



It's almost like they're trying to avenge that atomic wedgie they got back in junior high school.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:35:59 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wildearp:
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.
!



You obviously have never owned a company and had employees submit false expense reports.

Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:38:54 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 10:40:07 AM EDT by Hokie]

Originally Posted By KC_MO_shooter:

Originally Posted By wildearp:
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.
!



You obviously have never owned a company and had employees submit false expense reports.




That's true, provided the overhead expense of the bean counter going through the motions to police such fraudulent actions balances out. You get a few bad apples time to time, at least with a monetary floor on the company expenses, the potential damage is limited to small change....relatively speaking.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 10:56:33 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wildearp:
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.

My current company is worse. They require a receipt for everything and had time to give me grief over $8 worth of mileage to the airport, even though daily parking there costs many times more, and the shuttle costs $24. What fucking pricks!!!


They even used mapquest with my address to see where I could have driven from. IRS allows $0.45 per mile, however we were only paid $0.22. I recently complained and they bumped it to $0.30, but didn't notify anybody else in the company, so they only have to pay $0.22 to those who continue to submit mileage claims. Lovely!



I would ask them to make sure they are not putting $.45 on their expenses for the IRS
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:36:19 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/28/2005 11:40:22 AM EDT by out4trout]

Originally Posted By Poodleshooter:
Ask him what policy gets violated if you're missing $4 in receipts. Also ask if they have de minimis policies that allow them to ignore minor fluctuations in receipts. Usually the bigger companies are,and the closer the accountants are to corporate policy makers, the less flexible they become.



I got the ax last year after 26 years with the company. I've always been an operations junkie, and pretty damn good at it. I worked in the wholesale grocery business where the margins are razor thin and saving everyway you can is important, but it's still strictly a customer service game.

About 5 years ago former accountants, financial officers, comptrollers, and bean counters were installed as CEO. COO, CFO, and Operational VPs etc. They screwed things down so tight and insisted on lengthy justification documentation, cost analysis, projected ROIs, etc. etc., that operationally things ground to a snails pace. Customers were no longer being serviced, our deliveries became late, our ability to respond was degraded, and we lost the confidence of some of our best customers. A significant number of them went to competitors. So what did these guys do? They axed operational people who knew how to service our clients and take care of business. They replaced us with more bean counters and the like. It's gone from a down turn in business to a full fledged down hill slide. A few friends who still work there tell me the company is on its last leg and they expect it to close after the first of the New Year.
Link Posted: 9/28/2005 11:38:15 AM EDT

Originally Posted By wildearp:
The IRS does not make a company maintain receipts for less than $75, so ones who do, are wasting time, effort, and storage space.



In my line of work, it's not the IRS I am worried about....

Ultimately, the contract's our company agrees to dictate the level of "backup" we must keep or provide.

In the case of government contracts most items $25 or greater need to have documentation in files for a period of years prescribed by the government for audit purposes. This has nothing to do with the IRS, but rather DCAA.

YMMV...
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