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Posted: 8/1/2005 12:15:35 PM EDT
 www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=357694&in_page_id=1773 Connery fed up with Hollywood 'idiots' 13:14pm 31st July 2005 Sir Sean Connery has said he does not want to act in any more movies because he is "fed up with the idiots" now working in Hollywood, it has emerged. The former James Bond star said in a newspaper interview that he would "need a Mafia-like offer I couldn't refuse" to appear in another film. Although he added that he would never say never, the decision by the actor rated by director Steven Spielberg as one of the world's few genuine movie stars will leave his many fans upset. He told the New Zealand Herald: "I'm fed up with the idiots... the ever-widening gap between people who know how to make movies and the people who greenlight the movies." The actor, who grew up in the Fountainbridge area of Edinburgh, also said he did not regard his childhood as especially deprived. Connery, who had a milk round at nine and then worked as a coffin polisher and bodybuilder before his big break, said: "It's like people say, 'Oh, it must have been terrible living in a tenement with no hot water' and all that stuff. "But, as a child, I don't think you know that because what do you compare it with? And then growing up from the time of nine, there was the war, then all that working. "I've worked since I was nine. I left school at 13. I was in the Navy at 16 and a half so, yes, it's been kind of eventful, but with no qualifications." The Scot also revealed he had pulled out of a lucrative autobiography deal because the publisher wanted to delve too deeply into his private life. He said it had cost him a "stonking amount of money" to renege on the contract with ghost-writer Hunter Davies to pen the tell-all book. "I realised I was going to be spending the best part of my life, and probably the rest of my life, trying to correct these inaccuracies, and I can't be bothered," he said. |
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Posted: 8/1/2005 12:30:28 PM EDT
[#1]
Alex Trebek: *Jeopardy Theme*
Alex Trebek: ...And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. Alex Trebek: Boy oh boy do we have an exciting game tonight. Let's take a look at the scores. Alex Trebek: In a stunning third place, we have Mr. Sean Connery, with a $-89,512.56. How he did that, I don't know, and I'm not asking. * Sean Connery stands there looking more and more like an ass Alex Trebek: In second, the Rock, with $-5,000. Good start. * The Rock stands there Alex Trebek: And leading us is Britney Spears with a shocking $-200. * Britney Spears moves again so that the implants move around some more. The Rock: The Rock thinks that standing there not saying much has worked for Ms Spears Alex Trebek: Now, let's take a look at the topics for Double Jeopardy. They are: Alex Trebek: Potent Potables | US Vice Presidents with the last name of "Cheney" | Six-stringed musical instruments | Chastity Belts | Rock, Paper, Scissors | and finally, Elephant Trunk or Phallus. Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, you are in third place, so, pick a category. Sean Connery: I'll take Impotent Potables for $400 Alex Trebek: *POTENT* Potables, Mr. Connery...POTENT. Sean Connery: Something you're not! Ha ha ha ha ha... * The Rock raises an eyebrow * Britney Spears does nothing that has any kind of meaning. Alex Trebek: *getting frustrated* For $400, "This beverage is made in Mexico. It is called Tequila." Sean Connery: *BUZZ!* Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery? Sean Connery: Ya know, that reminds me of a time up in Scotland. I was chasing this young lass, and she has no panties on...I was chasing her... Alex Trebek: That is incorrect. Anyone else? Britney Spears: *BUZZ!* Sean Connery: ...you didn't let me finish, lunkhead. Alex Trebek: Britney Spears? Britney Spears: Saline solution? *giggle* * Alex Trebek ignores Connery Alex Trebek: That, too, is incorrect. The Rock: *BUZZ!* Alex Trebek: The Rock? The Rock: What is Tequila jabroni? Alex Trebek: No. IT WAS TEQUILA! WE TOLD YOU IN THE FRIGGING CLUE! The Rock: What did the rock say? Sean Connery: That reminds me of when I was in Mexico... Alex Trebek: Mr. Connery, you are STILL in third place, so you choose another category. Sean Connery: I'll take Titty Belts for $1000 Alex Trebek: Right..."Rock, Paper, Scissors" for $800, he said? Good enough. Alex Trebek: "This is not paper, nor scissors...but it is still one of those three. A hint: It shares the name with one of our contestants." Britney Spears: *BUZZ!* Sean Connery: *BUZZ!* Alex Trebek: Britney Spears? Britney Spears: Who am I? *points to herself, and her lips stop moving before the voice fades away* Alex Trebek: You are Britney Spears. ...moving on, Mr. Connery? Sean Connery: What is her boobies? The Rock: *BUZZ!* Alex Trebek: The Rock? The Rock: The fact of the matter is...Who are you? Sean Connery: I'm Sean Co... Alex Trebek: *buzzer sounds* I am going to kill Merv Gryffin. Sean Connery: What is that bloody imbecile doing? Alex Trebek: Look who's talking, Mr. Connery. The Rock: C'mon Jabroni, The Rock has people to see, women- sorry, things to do. Alex Trebek: The answer to the last questions, you lame-brained idiots, was a ROCK! Scissors and paper are not a ROCK! The Rock: They are if you put them in concrete Alex Trebek: Britney...choose another category for us, please. * Britney Spears giggles out of sync Britney Spears: Did you know I once dated Justin Timberlake? *out of sync* Alex Trebek: Shut up and do it. Sean Connery: She did do him! Sean Connery: Ha ha ha ha ha ha! The Rock: What's with your voice? Alex Trebek: Whose voice? The Rock: Her voice Britney Spears: I'll take US Presidents with the last name of Cheney for $5,000. Alex Trebek: Vice presidents, Ms. Spears... Sean Connery: *BUZZ!* What is Alex Trebek? Ha ha ha ha ha! Get it? "Dick"? Ha ha ha ha ha! * Britney Spears giggles out of sync. Alex Trebek: ........and NOW it's time for Final Jeopardy. While none of you actually got above the hole enough to play in it, there might be some hope. Alex Trebek: Ha ha ha... Sean Connery: Above the hole! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Sean Connery: There's nothing above you! Ha ha ha ha! * Britney Spears giggles slightly more in sync. Alex Trebek: And for Final Jeopardy, write down your name. Write down ANY name and you win! ANY name! * The Rock writes something down Alex Trebek: *Jeopardy music* * Britney Spears jumps up and down, dances a bit, then writes. * Sean Connery writes something down as well Alex Trebek: Alright...let's see what you've put now. Let's start with the Rock...what did you put? The Rock: Hey Spears, want to taste the People's Strudle? What? Oh, What did The Rock write? * Alex Trebek impatiently stands by his podium * Britney Spears steps away a bit. The Rock: Well, the fact of the matter is this. You said, write any name. So The Rock did. The Rock: I wrote "Any name" Alex Trebek: You are an idiot. And what did you wager? The Rock: Wager? Alex Trebek: Yes, you have to wager something... The Rock: The Rock didn't wager a damm thing Alex Trebek: That's nice. Britney Spears, what about you? What did you put? * Britney Spears wrote down Justin Timberlake, but crossed it out and rewrote Justin Timberlake, but crossed it out... (repeat 12 times) ...and wrote nothing. Britney Spears: I just remembered I'm not dating him anymore. Alex Trebek: ...if your boobs were brains, you might have been able to figure out that Justin Timberlake *is* a name. But you didn't. And what did you wager? Britney Spears: Or am I? * Britney Spears wagered "my intelligence" Alex Trebek: In other words, nothing. Alex Trebek: And finally, Sean Connery. What did you write? * Sean Connery clicks the button to reveal "Trebek" Alex Trebek: Oh my God, you know what? That *is* a name! And it *is* my name! So, Mr. Connery, despite anything which may have prevented you, you are correct. And what did you wager? * Sean Connery clicks the button to reveal "can't get any" Sean Connery: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Alex Trebek: "Can't get any"...lovely. Your charities will now be sending you death threats. That's all for Celebrity Jeopardy, I'm Alex Trebek and, damn, I envy Sajak. * Alex Trebek walks offstage |
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Posted: 8/1/2005 12:40:05 PM EDT
[#2]
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Posted: 8/1/2005 12:55:38 PM EDT
[#3]
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Posted: 8/1/2005 1:23:20 PM EDT
[#4]
what the hell
here's the real one: Alex Trebek: And welcome back to Celebrity Jeopardy. As you know, all of our celebrities are playing for charity. Marlon Brando, your charity is Habitat for Humanity. Phil Donahue, yours is the Children Are Our Future Foundation. And Burt Reynolds, yours is the Palm Beach Golf and Tennis Resort. We have quite a match going on here. Let's look at the score. We've got a close race going on for second place, between Phil Donahue at minus six-thousand eight hundred dollars, and Burt Reynolds at minus six thousand nine hundred dollars. And with a commanding lead, it's Marlon Brando with negative forty-five hundred dollars. Better luck to all of you in the next round. It's time for Double Jeopardy. Let's take a look at the board. The categories are… ‘Famous Roberts’, ‘Three-Letter Words’, ‘Pot Pourri’, ‘Potent Potables’, ‘Colors’, ‘Holidays’, and finally, ‘US States’. Marlon, you pick the category. Marlon Brando: Um... Fishing for a thousand. Trebek: There's no Fishing on the board, Marlon. Brando: [chewing on sunflower seeds] Uh, I like fishing. Trebek: Okay, that's great. Let's just start with 'Famous Roberts' for four hundred. And the answer is: This was John F. Kennedy's younger brother. Brando rings in Trebek: Marlon Brando. Brando: Teddy. Trebek: No. Brando: Who is Teddy? Trebek: No. Brando: Wha- what is Teddy? Trebek: No. Reynolds Rings in Trebek: Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds: I'll tell you something Alex, I-I think he's right. Trebek: No, he's not right. Remember, the category. 'Famous Roberts'. In the Kennedy family. Reynolds: Who is Robert Blake? Trebek: No. Donahue rings in Trebek: Phil Donahue. Phil Donahue: Well, my dear good man, the board appears… to… be… mine. I mean, in a tricky game where questions are answers, answers are questions, who's on first, what's in the chicken... Woaaaah! And all of a sudden - time buzzer rings - I'm walking down the - time buzzer rings. Trebek: Phil, your time is up. Marlon, you still have control of the board. Brando: In Tahiti they have these- these dogs that they train to catch frisbees in their mouths. It's amazing. Trebek: And I'll pick the category for you. 'Holidays' for four hundred dollars. The answer is: This December 25th holiday involves decorating a tree and opening presents. Reynolds rings in Trebek: Burt Reynolds. Reynolds: Yeah, what is my birthday? Trebek: Is your birthday on December 25th, Mr. Reynolds? Reynolds: No, July 7th. Trebek: Actually, I have your bio here. It's February 11th. Reynolds rings in Trebek: Burt Reynolds. Reynolds: What is July 7th? Trebek: Absolutely not. Donahue rings in Trebek: Yes, Phil Donahue? Donahue: Little Bobby… and Little Susie… have hung their stockings… with care. Mom and Dad are out looking for Tickle Me Elmo 'til five a.m. and all of a sudden Bobby looks up and he says, "Hey! Who... is... this Jesus?" Trebek: You know the answer, just say it! Donahue: ...Meanwhile Chris Kringle is drinking Coke, the reindeer are playing Nintendo, the elves are wearing Nikes they're walking... time buzzer rings...along... Trebek: Time is up, Mr. Donahue. The answer was Christmas. Reynolds rings in Trebek: Burt Reynolds. Reynolds: He's a good guy. Trebek: What? Wha- what was that, Mr. Reynolds? Reynolds: Robert Blake, he's a good guy. You should think about putting him up on your board, there. Trebek: Once again, Mr. Brando, the board is unfortunately yours. Brando: I went into some 7-11 this morning, and I wandered over to the magazine rack... There's so many magazines about cars. So many magazines about cars. Trebek: I'm going to assume you picked 'Colors' for eight hundred. Name this color: [Game board reveals a giant red square] Let's forget the whole answer-in-the-form-of-a-question thing, just name the color. Reynolds rings in Trebek: Burt Reynolds. Reynolds: Yeah, it's a rectangle. Trebek: At this point, Mr. Reynolds, I'm convinced you have a learning disability. Donahue rings in Trebek: Mr. Donahue. Donahue: We live in a society where everyone claims to be colorblind... Trebek: [Over Donahue] I know where this is going Donahue: ...What's going on? Brando rings in Trebek: Mr. Brando. Brando: You know, I was riding a bicycle… that I made myself… and I was with Wally Cox and, God, I miss that good man! He had fingers like a sailor. [Marlon bends down and takes off his pants] I remember one time in Bangkok... [He now takes off his boxers] time buzzer rings. Trebek: The answer was red. Mr. Donahue, you are at minus seven thousand two hundred dollars... Donahue: Great! Trebek: ...Mr. Reynolds, you seem to have broken your buzzer and... Reynolds: Heh heh! Trebek: ...and Mr. Brando, you're naked from the waist down. Let's just move on to Final Jeopardy. Tell you what, let's just forget the question. All you have to do to win the game is write down the current year. What year it is right now. "Jeopardy Theme" begins playing Trebek: It's a number. What year is it? This year. It starts with a nineteen. [Donahue feverishly writes at his podium, Burt Reynolds just stands around, and Brando has a puppet on his hand playing with the pen] "Jeopardy Theme" ends Trebek: Okay, let's see what we've got. Mr. Donahue appeared to write way too much. In fact, he's still going on. Let's see what he's got so far. [monitor shows lots of writing] Not even close to what we want. Donahue: Ohhhhhhhhh, come on! Trebek: Okay, now Mr. Reynolds. I didn't see you write anything. Maybe I missed it. [monitor reveals blank screen] And I didn't. You gave no answer. Reynolds: Why don't you let me buy a vowel? Trebek: Okay, that's infuriating. Mr. Brando chose to speak to puppet in lieu of participating. Maybe the puppet wrote down an answer [monitor reveals the word "Poop"]. You wrote "Poop". This must be a proud moment for you, Mr. Brando. Brando: You- you- you're a squawking parrot, you're- you're an ant. Trebek: Okay. Mr. Reynolds is the winner by having the least negative amount of money. On his behalf, the Palm Beach Golf and Tennis Club will receive a check for ten thousand dollars. That's it for Celebrity Jeopardy. I quit. |
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Posted: 8/1/2005 1:34:38 PM EDT
[#5]
Sounds like his is fed up with the producers.
Producers always want blockbusters- often at the expense of quality. |
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