"Hi folks, I'm Clint Eastwood. Today I'm doing a tv special on how we did special effects back in the old days of movies. For instance, where we use blanks and sugar glass today, back then we used live ammunition and real glass. I have a few other celebrities here who are going to help demonstrate how we did our much more dangerous special effects safely and effectively. First up is a scene from The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, where the infamous Tuco is being hanged and I shoot the rope. Michael Moore is helping with this one, so let's get the noose on. Good and tight, Mike? All right, then I move over to this end of the sound stage, chamber my rifle, adjust the sights, and when the director gives the signal, Michael drops to hang from the rope and I shoot the rope in half. Ready? Go! Oops, look at that. I forgot to load my rifle! Hang on a sec, Mike, gotta put a couple shells in here. 'Hang on'. Heh. I kill me. Okay, it's loaded now. Lemme just- wait, forgot to chamber it. Stupid me, I'm getting dumb in my old age. Okay, here we go. Blast, missed. Dang it, missed again. Stupid sights are off, lemme adjust 'em. Okay, let's try this again. Nope, shooting too high. Lemme adjust- Well, that's not good. Michael, are you okay? Sorry about your shoulder. Hey, uh, you're kinda turnin' blue. Guess I better shoot that rope fast, huh? Okay, lemme just- Wouldn't you know, all out of shells. Hey, stagehand! Go get the box of shells out of my trailer. And hurry up about it, would ya?"