Christmas Operations Order
Date: Thurs, 22 Dec 2005 12:20:01 - 0800 (PST)
From: OIC USMC, Director of Christmas Operations
Subject: Ops Order for Dec. 25 Christmas Operations Order: 12-24-05
1. An official visit by Lt Gen Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this headquarters 25 December 2005. The following instructions will be in effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit.
a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will include
indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary administrative
actions will be obtained through normal channels. Mice stirring permits
will be obtained through the Office of the Surgeon General, Veterinary
b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to 2200
hours, 24 December 2005. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas, cotton,
light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and Cap,
camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to 1900
hours, 24 December 2005.
c. Personnel will utilize standard field ration sugar plums for visions to
dance through their heads. Artificially sweetened plums are authorized for
those in their unit weight control program. Specifications for this item
will be provided by the servicing dining facility. d. Stockings, wool,
cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care. Necessary safety
precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused by carelessly hung
stockings. Unit Safety Officers will submit stocking hanging plans to this
headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December 2005, ATTN: DCSLOG, for approval.
e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring from
their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be taken to
tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes. DCSOPS Plan (Saint
Nick), Reference LO No. 3, paragraph 6c, this headquarters, 2 February
2000, will be in effect to facilitate shutter tearing and sash throwing.
Division chiefs will familiarize all personnel with procedures and are
responsible for ensuring that no shutters are torn open or window sashes
thrown open prior to start of official clatter.
f. Prior to 2400, 24 December 2005, all personnel will be assigned
"Wondering Eye" stations. After shutters are thrown open and sashes are
torn, these stations will be manned.
g. The ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8)
deer, rein, tiny, for use of Lt Gen Claus' driver who, IAW current
directives and other applicable regulations, must have a valid SF 56
properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop parking and be
able to shout "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen, up Comet, up
Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen".
2. Lt Gen Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 23 December 2005, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-in.
3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night." This shout will be given on termination of General Claus'
visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division chiefs.
CHRISTOPHER KRINGLE Colonel, USMC OIC, Special Services
Semper Fi carry on
Ah man I never had to deal with it I was on leave every Christmas
Aye Aye Sir!
Merry Christmas everyone
bump for tonight