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10/20/2017 1:01:18 AM
9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 10/1/2005 8:50:46 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2005 9:00:56 AM EDT by t-stox]
Oct 1. 2005
AP wire- John Thomas Johnson reporting.
Wiith an estimated length of 100 miles, and a girth of at least 50. The powerful Typhoon Long Wang is poised to penetrate the Chinese mainland sometime after a dinner and movie (17:00 GMT). The tip of Long Wang is expected to enter the lower rear end of the Chinese mainland but experts expect it to get longer and stronger as it passes over the Him-a-laya Hump. Disaster has already happened as long wang has toppeled a Chinese navy Ship. Said a Communist official, "the Long Wang has already spilled seamen onto our coastline." Chinese national radio has been broadcastiing warnings to the provinces that posting naked pictures of Margret Thatcher and Whoopie Goldberg on houses will provide little or no protection against Long wangs fury.
A chinese spokesman explained the origins of Typhoons to the citizenry. "Every year Hot air from either the African coast or the China sea build up enough high pressure to create Typhoons" When asked about the origin of this Typhoon he said "These is no way this Long Wang could have come from the Chinese sea as those are typically small and of short duration. This Long Wang Must be from Africa since theirs are longer and harder."

Hot link to more news about the Long Wang entering China--- Long Wang

Metorlogical center
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 12:54:23 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2005 12:57:15 PM EDT by 71-Hour_Achmed]
Very nice.

Writing as your correspondent from Taiwan, er, the Renegade Province of Chinese Taipei, so far, all I can say is that Long Wang must be gay -- this typhoon really blows. It won't hit maximum here for fifteen more hours (if I'm reading the USN JTWC graphs correctly), but it's already as bad as the others this year have been at their peaks.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:00:11 PM EDT
Only one reply huh? Well just FYI, This is a Real Typhoon and it's name really is 'Long Wang' And it really is about to hit China. In case youse guyz thought i wuz pulling your 'long wang'...
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:01:39 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/1/2005 6:04:28 PM EDT by Specop_007]

Thats awesome, I have to share that.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:03:55 PM EDT
Sounds like this "Long Wang" has some serious foaming fury built up.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:12:56 PM EDT
Too bad its pronounced "wong."

It means "king."

Sorry to pee on the parade.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:23:11 PM EDT

Originally Posted By t-stox:
Oct 1. 2005
AP wire- John Thomas Johnson reporting.

Long Wang is poised to penetrate the Chinese

Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:41:02 PM EDT

Originally Posted By The_Alchemist:
Too bad its pronounced "wong."

It means "king."

Sorry to pee on the parade.

Wang,wong,dong,schlong it would still be funny if it was called 'Long wong'!

Gotta give it up to Mandarin Chinese, They say some funny words!

Remiinds me of that Chinese pilot who crashed in another plane and his name was "Wong Wei"
that is so funny only God could've thought that one up.
Link Posted: 10/1/2005 6:43:05 PM EDT
going to fwd this tonight..

Link Posted: 10/2/2005 6:04:35 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 10/2/2005 6:07:18 AM EDT by 71-Hour_Achmed]
Long Wang ("dragon king", which happens to be the most important spirit of the sea, apparently) ejaculated prematurely on the east coast of Taiwan. Having spent its spunk, it rolled over and fell asleep.

Unfortunately it also did serious damage in Hualien (on the east coast of Taiwan), which is a fairly poor part of the country, er, "renegade province". A school there lost the top floor of it's boys' dormitory, and those boys are now in the same situation as the Katrina refugees -- nothing but the clothes on their backs.

Just once this year, I wish a typhoon would miss Taiwan and wreak major havoc on the mainland. The last two typhoons did exactly the same thing -- hit the east coast of Taiwan and immediately disintegrate. Considering how much damage just the fragmented remnants did to China, I'd love to see how they'd do with a direct hit. Or am I just being a vindictive bastard?
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