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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:36:50 PM EDT
OK, now let me start this off by saying, I am not a "dead beat" dad.....I understand that women need the money to pay bills, buy food, clothes, etc.....My son is 11 yrs old and in the 9.5 yrs I've been paying support, I've given the psycho-ex almost $40,000.......in 2003 I had back surgey and was physically unable to work, but the child support WAS STILL DUE......so I went in the hole, I'm in arrears.....in the 2.5 yrs since my surgery, work has been slow sometimes and I've missed a few more payments.....so now I'm like $4,500 in the hole......But I am currently paying what is owed, and out of the $106 a week I have to pay, about $30 of it is for "back support".......and they take ALL my tax returns........SO...I'm a little behind, and THE BITCH IS TAKING ME TO COURT!!!......
 Now for the visitation bullshit she pulls...... She has never lived up to her visitation obligation, not once......she kept moving around and not notifying the courts.....she never let me know where she was living either.....she moved out of state for 3 yrs and I never saw my son at all......well, I finally found her in June of '04, I used one of those internet "People Finder" sites......so since I FINALLY knew her address, I file a motion to take her to Court for contempt.......HERE'S MY BITCH.......I filed a motion in December of 2004, and I don't get a court date until May 2006!!!!  .......The bitch files a motion in Feb '06, and I'm in court 8weeks later in APRIL!!!........I FILED 18 MONTHS AGO, THE BITCH FILED 4 WEEKS AGO AND GETS A DATE BEFORE ME........SO now I'm convinced, the courts DONOT give A SHIT about a father's rights......ALL THEY CARE ABOUT IS THE MONEY......Let's keep this baby factory OFF OF WELFARE.......and all she is is a money grubbing whore.......afetr my son was born, she got pregnant from a loser asshole, and got an abortion........then she gets knocked up by an ironworker, AND KEEPS IT, because she knows she'll GET PAID!!!!.....I am so twisted up about this, I'm fuming!!......oh, yeah, I got a lawyer....money I'm paying him could be going to my arrears, but she doesn't think of that.....Rant off!! ...........I need a drink.....dammit |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:39:54 PM EDT
[#1]
And folks wonder why, at 33, I'm not married, have no plans of getting married, and have no children.
Good luck man. |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:41:16 PM EDT
[#2]
you can thank the bradley amendment for much of your trouble.
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:42:58 PM EDT
[#3]
pre-nup
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:45:08 PM EDT
[#4]
Pre-nup does shit when kids are concerned. Edit: Do you have all the ducumentation of her moving and not notifying the court? You being off work cause of surgery? And ALL of it..... |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:46:20 PM EDT
[#5]
That sucks bud. No the courts, the gov't, etc don't give a shit about dads. They have been shitting on them for 50 years now and it used to be worse. New ID New State New life New Country if necessary Maybe a few asshole judges need a lesson in decency but that is another matter for another thread. That's what I'd do. fuck 'em. Paying child support is one thing, getting reamed in the ass is another and considering you are not even getting to see your kid I'd do ANYTHING I could to screw her. ANYTHING. I'd live in a tent the rest of my life before I'd give the bitch a fucking dime. But that's me. Wow. 
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:46:22 PM EDT
[#6]
pre-nup has absolutely nothing to do with child support 
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:46:29 PM EDT
[#7]
Sorry to hear of your troubles. I'm wishing you the best. |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:46:57 PM EDT
[#8]
true.... new solution (too late for you i'm afraid)
va-sectomy! |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:47:18 PM EDT
[#9]
Oh, absolutley. Fiero.....I have files man.....THICK files...... 
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:48:57 PM EDT
[#10]
And get a good lawyer.... Make the bitch pay.... If she does all that I would take her back to court and try and get custody of her, cause she as hell doesnt seem fit. |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:48:57 PM EDT
[#11]
Hookers are cheaper.
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:50:43 PM EDT
[#12]
and get this.......when she was moving around, I go down to the Clerk of COurts to file a motion....and they're like, "Well you need to get her address".......I said "I can't find her, can't you just get it from child support, THEY know where she is, as she wouldn't want to miss a payment"....."We can't do that sir"......
......fucking lazy ass county workers...
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:50:50 PM EDT
[#13]
$40,000 in 9 1/2 years is a little more than $4,000 a year. That is not enough to raise a child. You should be paying much, much more. If she does not live up to the Courts orders you should take her to Court. If you do not know where your child lives and that is part of the order you should be able to go to court and win a modification that says you do not owe for the months she keeps him from you or you do not know where he lives. Have you considered trying to get custody so she could pay you support?
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:51:54 PM EDT
[#14]
Planned or Whooops
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Posted: 3/21/2006 7:55:09 PM EDT
[#15]
If you think his legal advice is bad...you've yet to witness his health advice. Now what was that you recommended for 'vitreous floaters' there...Doc? Oh yea...'Keep your eye's clean'! 
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Posted: 3/21/2006 8:04:32 PM EDT
[#16]
you obviously have never been through this before........I do not have to pay the FULL COST of raising a child, we have to split it......I also do not have to support HER.....she would be paying rent, utilities, car insurance, etc. ,with or without the kid........that being said, I have two other children with my wonderful wife and we never spent $8-9,000 on diapers, formula, and baby clothes......ANNUALLY.....maybe for BOTH of my other children.....the WHOLE time they were in diapers.... and in reference to the red part of your quote......In order to file a motion against her, in my county, I MUST PROVIDE HER NAME<CURRENT ADDRESS< PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT<BIRTHDATE<AND SSN......so do tell me, how do you get all of that information when she changes residences every 6-8 months? |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 8:06:10 PM EDT
[#17]
Not as bad as you, but I have experienced this fucking bullshit myself.
They take my dividends and give them directly to the useless biotch without crediting my account and then claim it is for past arrears that "AREN'T LISTED ON YOUR ACCOUNT". WTF is that. Ghost arrears. Got a lawyer, got charged a grand to tell me they can't do shit. Fuck the system. |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 8:16:58 PM EDT
[#18]
I hear you, my ex and I had a verbal agreement that i owuld pay her child support every two weeks instead of weekly as was in the divorce papers. Well, after 6 years I get hit witha contempt warrant because I am $5000 behind in support, due to there not being 4 weeks in every month. So while we are fighting this out in court she withholds visitation, I file contempt charges against her and the courts act like its no big deal.
So now I have the $125 a week support + $32 extra to pay off the arrears taken out automatically and sent to her through the courts. I pay $6000 a year in support, and very little goes to my daughter, most goes to the big ass fullt loaded expedition she drives. Only 6 more years and I will be free from that fucking whore forever. |
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Posted: 3/21/2006 8:17:14 PM EDT
[#19]
Ready, set, go. First, I have been paying child support for about 11 years. In that time I have paid appx $110,000 for 1 child. Your 4,000 per year is VERY LITTLE. Next, "I to hurt and couldn't work". Tough shit. Unless your child was fast frozen in that time, that child still needed to be supported. Work has been slow for 2.5 years................. Well as long as YOUR CHILD is being supported first, that isn't a problem. Oh wait you say that isn't true............................. You got "behind", work more, and spend less on yourself. Next, your child is probably old enough to be able to phone or write you. Perhaps you should try that system, and cut out the middle man. Next, as dumb, stupid, ornery, etc as she is YOU ARE THE ONE THAT DECIDED TO HAVE A CHILD WITH HER. So in short, MAN UP, shut up about your ex-, and support your child. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 5:46:13 PM EDT
[#20]
I'll just add my small 2 cents worth. I just wish my step daughters dad was as interested you many of you are in your child. I got married 6 years ago and Lori (wife and now EX-PASTRY chef) had to go to court just to get 75.00 a week child support. Forget about clothes, braces for her teeth, and so many other things. Sold my Fat Boy to put braces on Adria. I said to Adria at LEAST twice a week, 'you call your dad?'. I still have the bounced checks he sent.
In the 6 years we have been married Adria has seen her father 3 times!!!! In the end, it is her fathers loss.... Now if i could just get Adria to take an interest in guns........ be well maxwell |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 5:51:14 PM EDT
[#21]
Welcome to the club..I've been through all that shit. It will get better, if you want it to. I'm not trying to sugar-coat things, because it 'll really suck for a long time. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 5:53:27 PM EDT
[#22]
Im being takin back to court next month. Whats funny, is she will get less. I make less now then when we went the fitrst time and they bass it on monthly income in wyoming. I tried to tell her this but all she cares about isd money and thinks im makig it up.
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Posted: 3/22/2006 5:59:26 PM EDT
[#23]
Child support is based on income. Just because you might pay more does not mean that he is not pay the same percentage. His ex is worse then he is by far. She is deliberately witholding the child from the other parent. That SHOULD be contempt in the least if he has visitation rights. To bad judges have no balls and recuse the paying noncustodial parent from all child support payment until visitation rights are followed for a period of 3 months. No back support, no nothing for the period of non visitation. That would wake a few "mothers" up. Depending on the age of the kid 4K is a reasonable amount and pays well more then 1/2 of child raising costs, especially if he also has to keep the child on med insurance. BTW, the ex is a nurse again [I think] She pays right about 4K a year to me. That is fair and I even told the court I wanted no OT to be figured in, just 40 hours a week. I was fairer to her then she EVER was to me. Course the bitch could see her son any day of the week but she has only seen him3 times in 4 years. Lives in the same town too. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 6:01:43 PM EDT
[#24]
That's a shame.
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Posted: 3/22/2006 6:03:46 PM EDT
[#25]
i thought i reccomended gasoline? |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 6:24:58 PM EDT
[#26]
To be honest after all I have seen (and read) there needs to be major reform done to this so-called "system". However I fear nothing will ever happen until the "Dead Beat Dad" issue is dealt with.
Yes there are some, HOWEVER not every father is one of them. And what is up with the blatant racism in the system. The system broke. There is no rhyme or reason to any decision and 99% of the determinations are plainly tilted towards the mother. Visitation….What a joke the mothers call the shots there…Why are the courts so scared to go after the mothers for "contempt of court" for not following the visitation requirements. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 6:59:43 PM EDT
[#27]
I think maybe you meant "sexism" not racism. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:28:18 PM EDT
[#28]
First, you pay $10k a year in child support, either you make WAY more than me, or your ex is a non working piece of shit..... Second, no one said that when I had surgery, he didn't need money..... Third, I don't spend shit on MYSELF........I have two other children with my wife, and I have custody of my sister's kid...........who do you take care of? Fourth, I DID NOT DECIDE to have a child with her........this was a broken condom scenario......she comes to me one day and says...."I'm pregnant, and don't know who's it is"..... and Fifth, the TRAMP is not my ex....we were never married, never even dated.......and I support my child AND LASTLY, get the gist of the RANT before you TRY to come down on me......the first thing I said was I don't care about the money, or did you just chose to ignore that part ?.........My problem is the fact that when money doesn't come in, I'm in court........but she can do whatever she wants regarding visitation......my bitch was mainly about how LONG it takes me to get her to court, in comparison to HOW SHORT it takes her to get me into court........PAY ATTENTION PLEASE!
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:30:21 PM EDT
[#29]
I agree, Maxwell, that's FUCKED up......I am not like Adria's dad........my money's good, my checks don't bounce, and I have a desire to be a part of my son's life.......Good LUck, man..... |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:34:01 PM EDT
[#30]
This is such a sad situation...
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:38:18 PM EDT
[#31]
Nope I meant racism. Ever heard of cases of multiple babies by multiple babies mommas and the loser sperm donor has never been ordered to pay CS (let alone ACTUALLY pay). Child Support's broken system only invests time on people they think can pay. Not to mention the “babies momma” clam up when they know the deadbeat dad holds no JOB (other than maybe slingin rocks). If they say who they are (the deadbeat donor) they will not collect dime one from CS vs. the $$$ they will get from the .GOV for just playing dumb. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:41:26 PM EDT
[#32]
It's sad because so many people want to just boil it down to MONEY......as if......sure, the mommy gets money and pays the bills and keeps the son from his daddy, that produces a well rounded kid/teen/adult doesn't it now?........It's a proven fact that removing one parent from the family equation permanently alters a childs life, his personality, and what he will turn into as an adult.......My son is old enough to start to figure things out now, and he already makes snide comments to me about his mother, I think he's getting angrier the more he figures out, and I see a troublesome teenage period coming on ........I just hope I can teach him to respect his mom, (which will be hard since I do not).....but I always tell him to listen to his mother, help around the house, etc.........I always tell him how much I love him, and how much we will miss him until the next time he comes over.....
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:46:15 PM EDT
[#33]
Sad , but true, unfortunately.......the courts know I have moved on and created a family with woman that I love....I have more children to support, so I HAVE TO WORK......they know THAT I WILL WORK, because a SSN check shows them THAT I HAVE ALWAYS worked.........so let's TAKE WHITEY to court, because HE WILL SHOW UP, and PAY WHATEVER WE TELL HIM TO.......they know I can't quit my job...... |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:47:46 PM EDT
[#34]
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:48:22 PM EDT
[#35]
Ok fixed it for ya...
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:51:00 PM EDT
[#36]
Someone who agrees with me!!! Marriage is not for everyone. I turned it down with my last ex. No thanks!!! Seen to much shit for me to hit the "Chapel o' Love!" |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:53:05 PM EDT
[#37]
I feel for you bro.....I really do. The same kind of shit hit my older brother and only ended up bad
Good luck in whatever you do. Pete |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:53:33 PM EDT
[#38]
OK OLY, so me saying I pay ONLY $3600 a year, that means I dont pay enough? So that makes me not care about my child or whatever? I pay what the court said I should pay. I also pay his INS and we split medical bills..... If I get hurt and cant work I cant work, ill get behind, it happens, im not perfect (NO one not even you is). Ill get behind, and I AM behind.....But im working on that right now. His message was very clear the first time I read it, so it seems you cant understand what people type. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:54:06 PM EDT
[#39]
Gotcha beat....37 single, no kids, plenty of dates, and all of my money is MINE!!!! |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:55:58 PM EDT
[#40]
women suck.why oh why where they given all the pie.
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Posted: 3/22/2006 7:57:59 PM EDT
[#41]
strange how almost everyone else understood my problem |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:05:15 PM EDT
[#42]
Whatever you pay, is whatever you pay. I haven't seen you whining about it. Big difference when you start off with I've given the psycho-ex almost $40,000....... First, he hasn't "given", he has a RESPONSIBILITY. Secondly it is to support HIS CHILD, not the 'psycho-ex'. Next, I am not a "dead beat" dad.....so now I'm like $4,500 in the hole Let's do the math, aught goes into aught, hmmm that's about 1 years worth of child support. I could go over the whole post. I'm not impressed with the whining about the support, whining about how much he has "given the -ex", making excuses for being behind, whining that his tax returns are garnished, etc. etc. He should stop whining, rationalizing, etc. AND ACT LIKE AN ADULT AND MAKE SURE HE IS TAKING CARE OF HIS REPONSIBILITIES. His whining about not meeting his responsbilities is making it very difficult for me to care that he has to go back to Court. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:24:17 PM EDT
[#43]
My niece, an otherwise very nice person, did that to her ex-husband. He was supposed to be able to keep his son one month in the summer and two other weekends a year. Her ex-husband took her to court in an attempt to try to get the judge to force her to live-up to her end of the court order, and instead he was fined by the court for not visiting his son. The reason he took her to court was because she didn't allow him to see his son! The judge took his one month a year away and increased his child support by 1/12 to pay for the month he wasn't going to see his son. Be very careful if you go to court. Judges do not use logic or common sense or even common decency when it comes to dealing with divorces.z |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:33:30 PM EDT
[#44]
I'm sorry, I should have only "whined" about HER lack of commitment to HER obligation......."aught goes into augt".....hmmmmm.......$4500 behind over a span of ten years, means about $450 a year, LESS THAN ONE MONTH'S PAYMENT, PER YEAR.........and here I thought that explaining BOTH sides of the situation would make it more understandable.......I guess not for some people
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:36:04 PM EDT
[#45]
we were never married thank god......and I have a good lawyer..... |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:42:12 PM EDT
[#46]
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Posted: 3/22/2006 8:45:26 PM EDT
[#47]
Sorry to hear of your situation but the very first time she pulled that crap it was lawyer time. Police if needed. |
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Posted: 3/22/2006 9:17:42 PM EDT
[#48]
Her bills did not stop just because you had bad luck. Would you like it if the company you work for got behind in your paycheck by a couple years, or would you take them to court?
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Posted: 3/23/2006 10:57:59 AM EDT
[#49]
i agree. before someone gets custody of the kids, they should also be able to provide for them. BY THEMSELVES.. if they do not have sufficient income to support their kids without the father sending them half his paycheck every month, then they should not get custody. custody should go to the father, and the deadbeat mom can visit every so often or whatever. |
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Posted: 3/23/2006 1:40:12 PM EDT
[#50]
Sorry Bud, but it don't work that way. You should plan on paying the same amount if not more. |
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