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1/25/2018 7:38:29 AM
Posted: 2/9/2006 11:33:14 AM EST
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:34:28 AM EST
Why did I click on that?
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:37:06 AM EST
I prefer a 62gr hollow point to its skull. Much easier and less sick.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:42:02 AM EST
I heard of that before.....I laughed my ass off when I was told about it.....Never gonna try it though
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:47:52 AM EST
Another reason to spay your cat.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:51:03 AM EST
Better than the page I read that described how to have sex with a car.

And no, I'm not making that up.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:52:02 AM EST
If I'm gonna go through all that trouble to have sex with my cat ....
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:58:12 AM EST
A old college roommate of mine used to do that to his GFs cat... only he used a cigarette butt instead.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 11:59:12 AM EST
S: So what are you doing tonight?
B: Well...I have to jerk off my cat?

S: What???
B: She's in heat and I have to stick a Q-tip up her cooter to chill her out.

S: Well...ummm....OK....go play with your pussy.
B: STFU.... you where the one playing with a horses cock in front of your daughter whith a Vet helping you.

S: Sorry....
B: Just don't speak of this again I may need to seek some help after wards.

S: OK...See ya later.
B: See ya.

Link Posted: 2/9/2006 12:02:57 PM EST
That's fuckin' sick.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 12:03:01 PM EST
Just when you think you've seen it all.......
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 12:07:36 PM EST
[Last Edit: 2/9/2006 12:08:15 PM EST by LoginName]

Originally Posted By MNGuns:
Just when you think you've seen it all.......

Don't be too sure about that...

"i just felt like reading this will improve everyone's mind and soul.

As an avid reader of your column, I thought of you and only you for help with this problem. My grandmother, 78 and widowed, is a kind, generous woman who has seen her share of difficult times. She is a bit offbeat, but extremely conservative and religious. After my grandfather passed on, she purchased a lively little parakeet and named him Pretty Baby. Pretty has provided wonderful companionship and entertainment for my grandmother, even learning to speak to her. Pretty is an amazing mimic, repeating phrases she has taught him: "I love you!" "Lock the door!" "Give me kisses!" And so on.

The problem is the kissing... or what I recently witnessed the kissing leads to. One evening, Pretty began to squawk "Give me kisses! Give me kisses!" and my grandmother walked over to the cage and slipped one finger between the bars. Pretty Baby proceeded to "kiss" her fingernail and flutter about. She purred, "Give Grandma lovin', Pretty Baby, give Grandma lovin'." She then turned to me and said, "Pretty Baby wants to give me lovin', and he won't quiet down until he does." Pretty Baby proceeded to screech more and more loudly, as he humped my grandmother's finger wildly. She also moved it back and forth for him. I was stunned and unsure of what was happening, so I sat quietly in my chair, looking in the opposite direction, hoping that I wasn't really witnessing what I thought I was. My grandmother cleared it up quickly, saying, "He'll calm down after he climaxes," smiling away and continuing to repeat, "Give me your lovin', Pretty Baby, that's it..." When Pretty Baby was finished, she looked back at me and said, "I'd better wash my hands!" I left minutes later, unable to process what had just happened. Grandmother, however, never flinched, acting like it was an everyday occurrence.

I'm still horrified. Should I be concerned, Dan? About my grandmother? About Pretty Baby? Help!
Polly Wanna Wanker"

Response to question here..
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 12:13:46 PM EST
Best part of the reply:

Not a problem unless, of course, you're the poor bastard who has to sit there and watch her widowed, kind, generous, conservative, religious, 78-year-old grandmother finger-fuck her parakeet.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 1:31:57 PM EST
You can take a cat to the vet to have this done safely and still retain your dignity as well.
I don't know what they charge for it, but hey? It's only gun money, right? What is your dignity going to be worth if your friends ever find out you jacked off your b!tch cat?
And it also doesn't really cure the problem, as the cat will just go into heat sooner/longer next time around. And eventually get a bad "female" infection.
Female cats need to be bred every couple years or spayed, or else they get uterine infections that are serious/can be fatal.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 2:01:15 PM EST
i do that all the time to my cat. except i use my penis (yes it's that small)...........and my cat's not a mommy cat........


Link Posted: 2/9/2006 2:03:24 PM EST
I am so turned on right now.
Link Posted: 2/9/2006 2:05:35 PM EST
Somes days I get some really good info from this site. Other days.......

Link Posted: 2/10/2006 12:38:42 PM EST
Q-Tips(TM): 1001 uses? Now 1002.

Next thing you know they'll be selling little pre-lubricated kitty dildos in petshops.

Link Posted: 2/10/2006 1:09:10 PM EST

Originally Posted By LoginName:
A old college roommate of mine used to do that to his GFs cat... only he used a cigarette butt instead.

...aaaaaaaaaand tag for home.

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