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Posted: 9/15/2004 5:20:25 PM EST
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?

Where I work at the ratio is approximately 50 men to every woman.

I think that just because it is a man and a woman doesn't necessarily mean they're going to connect? Doesn't there at least have to be some kind of chemistry?

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:22:26 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:25:34 PM EST
A woman with a "guy friend"= In case of emergency, Break glass!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:27:43 PM EST
Only if the guy is gay
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:32:17 PM EST
Yes, they can just be "friends". But, I will GUARANTEE you that any non-gay man will constantly evaluate shagging any female co-worker. Just the nature of the beast.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:33:45 PM EST

Originally Posted By shotar:
Only if the woman is ugly.



+1
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:34:06 PM EST
Yep.

Once, for whatever reason, BOTH parties agree that there are boundaries that cannot ever be crossed, everything's cool.

This almost NEVER works with 2 singles.

Personally, I have LOTS of female friends, that I can discuss virtually anything with. As it happens, almost every one of them are married. In that case, both parties understand that there are boundaries that can never be crossed. Neither party has any desire to cross those boundaries.

Now, having said all that, I very strongly prefer that any woman I date starts as a friend, and very slowly progresses beyond that. And if we just end up not liking each other....well, that doesn't always leave a lot of reason to remain friends.

FWIW, don't worry about my opinions too much, because 1) ALL freindships are temporary. If I'm lucky, I'll have ONE in life that lasts 'until death do us part'...but that one, too, is only temporary, and 2) my relationship boundaries are much different than most folk's boundaries. Saves lots of headaches later.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:34:53 PM EST
You are only friends with a woman for two reasons, either you want to marry her or you want to fuck her. This is 100% true with the only exeption being if you are a fag.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:36:22 PM EST
Only if the woman has a congenitally absent vaginal opening.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:36:43 PM EST

Originally Posted By shotar:
Only if the woman is ugly.

Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:37:21 PM EST
This is a really, really, really sore subject around my house lately.

The missus decided to show up at my job and take me out to a surprise lunch a few months ago and she pulled into the parking lot just as I was climbing into a coworkers car.

A blonde co worker with double d's.

I got really aquainted with our couch for awhile there.

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:39:42 PM EST

Originally Posted By C-4:
Only if the woman has a congenitally absent vaginal opening.




Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:39:52 PM EST

Originally Posted By SKWARE:
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?

Where I work at the ratio is approximately 50 men to every woman.

I think that just because it is a man and a woman doesn't necessarily mean they're going to connect? Doesn't there at least have to be some kind of chemistry?





I have a very hard time being "good friends" with women without wanting more (relationship wise).

Where I work the ratio is pretty much reversed (50 females per male) and I have a lot of casual/at work friendships. If I were to reach the point with a particular woman where I think "good" friendship develops I'd be romantically interested.

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:44:55 PM EST
no its not true, IMO point in case, you can have a nice conversation, go to lunch, and do nice little things like that, but do they just stop by and say hi, do they call you just to say, hey, or call you to come out with there friends, girls as friends only come around when they need somthing. personally i cant stand them anymore. the only guy friend thay i can see them with is the gay one who wants to be a girl.


relationship=good
friendship=bad
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:47:34 PM EST
For what it's worth, I don't think a single man and a single woman are SUPPOSED to be friends, and friends only.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:48:11 PM EST
I used to have a friend who for some reason or another I would hang out with his sister, and 3 or 4 girlfriends. I wasn't interested in hitting any one of them, but they were pretty cool. I don't think any were interested in 'getting together' with me. This was in my early 20's. we would hang out and party at my apartment, or go to bars. they were fun, and great live bait for me to get other chicks. I have an ex girlfriend that I am good friends with, but I'd still bone her, just too crazy for a real relationship. Any girls(women) I meet, I'd like to be friends with, and get to know them, but I probably overridingly want to bone them. Ladder theory makes sense to me.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:49:59 PM EST
yea right.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:52:28 PM EST
It is possible.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:55:46 PM EST

Originally Posted By macro:

Originally Posted By shotar:
Only if the woman is ugly.



+1



+2

Hate to be so shallow, but that is
100% true.

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:33:14 PM EST
As long as she can not read your mind, then yes


GM
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:47:01 PM EST

Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
You are only friends with a woman for two reasons, either you want to marry her or you want to fuck her. This is 100% true with the only exeption being if you are a fag.



That is the stupidest fucking thing I have read all week. What are you 15 years old?

Bob
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:48:01 PM EST

Originally Posted By shotar:
Only if the woman is ugly.


+1 and sometimes beer gogles will fuck that up.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:10:06 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:31:25 PM EST
Sure they can be just friends. I've had/have several female friends, some married/some not. I make extra-sure to let my wife know the wheres-and-whens if I'm going somewhere with one of them, not due to lack of trust but just to prevent any misunderstandings later. I've gone to the Savvis Center in St. Louis with one of them to see Monster Trucks, went to see Ozzy at Riverport, etc. No dramas, and we both new the lines not to cross. Just two friends out having fun, and then going home to their spouses.
Humans don't have to act like animals; Some just choose to. I care too much for my wife and son to mess it up by being a guy-slut.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:37:25 PM EST
Im friends with several women, but Im always looking for a chance.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:39:39 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:44:35 PM EST

Originally Posted By Jarhead_22:
www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

It's just that simple.



that theory would be a lot more credible if the site it was off of didnt have a Noam Chomsky link on it.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:54:44 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 7:57:04 PM EST by Dave_A]

Originally Posted By SKWARE:
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?

Where I work at the ratio is approximately 50 men to every woman.

I think that just because it is a man and a woman doesn't necessarily mean they're going to connect? Doesn't there at least have to be some kind of chemistry?




Depends...

Some folks can do it, some can't...

I, personally can't *not* do it - I can never see trusting someone enough to date them without having been just friends first...

Oh, the 'Ladder Theory' doesn't work in communities where sex is expected to be off limits unless you get married... The statement above might be different if I didn't believe in/belong to one of the above...
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 7:59:00 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 8:01:38 PM EST by jhasz]

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:

Originally Posted By SKWARE:
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?



My first wife sure thought so.



Hmmm, you were my wifes first husband?

I've been "friends" with her now for quite some time

That being said, I say, yes, as long as (But not limited to) they aren't married to each other, and one or the other (or both) aren't single.

I have a friend from HS, that I tried to go out with then, that turned me (and a few others) down. Great girl, the kind mom & dad would have wanted me to marry. We're still friends, and she is now re-married (dumped the druggie she wound up with) and is one of my best friends. But we've gone past that spot. Now, if she were to lose the current hubby, and I the current wifey at the same time - I might give it a try, but that ain't gonna happen.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:04:41 PM EST
Rare, but possible.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:08:37 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 8:09:02 PM EST by BUCC_Guy]
Well shit... now that I think about it.... all the girls at college that I consider "friends" I would really rather be porking.


Things that make you go "hmmm".


- BG
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:27:45 PM EST
I think this quote from the ladder theory says all that needs to be said;



There are exactly 3 cases Intellectual Whores has identified whereby a guy and a girl can be friends:

1 .The guy is gay
2. The guy does not find you attractive.
3. The guy already has a woman much higher than you on the ladder

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:30:19 PM EST
Hmmmmm No!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:34:54 PM EST

Originally Posted By Jarhead_22:
www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

It's just that simple.



+10
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:37:12 PM EST
AGNTSA
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:43:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By SKWARE:
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?

Where I work at the ratio is approximately 50 men to every woman.

I think that just because it is a man and a woman doesn't necessarily mean they're going to connect? Doesn't there at least have to be some kind of chemistry?




One of my best friends is a chick we have no interest in each other at all.. no one believes us about that for the most part though and its annoying as hell .. We're both dating now but when we werent we never went after each other.. Her boyfriend trust me and my girlfriend trust her also..

So ya it can happen but I don't think it happens very often..

and she's far from ugly
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 8:50:18 PM EST

Originally Posted By Kaliburz:
AGNTSA



???
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:10:42 PM EST
i'm not even sure about the ugly ones..they always end up wanting to get with me. no thanks!
the hot womenz either want you or you're their cuddle bitch.

i can only see it working if you're both building a relationship together.
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 3:11:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By SKWARE:
Do you think that men and women can be just good friends without anything else?

Where I work at the ratio is approximately 50 men to every woman.

I think that just because it is a man and a woman doesn't necessarily mean they're going to connect? Doesn't there at least have to be some kind of chemistry?




Not close friends, no. Becuase inevitably someone always has an attraction to the other person, even if it is no reciprocated.
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 3:45:15 AM EST

Originally Posted By WI_Rifleman:
You are only friends with a woman for two reasons, either you want to marry her or you want to fuck her. This is 100% true with the only exeption being if you are a fag.



Not exactly how Shakespeare would have put it, but fairly accurate.
Every time a guy meets a new woman, a woman he already knew, or notices a woman for more than a second, the first thing to enter his mind is yes or no.
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 4:11:55 AM EST
But desire doesn't mean you have to act on it. You can be friends and choose not take it beyond that point.
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 4:19:32 AM EST
If they're ugly or non-hittable for another reason (I have two female friends from college, both are in long-term relationships with male friends of mine, I wouldnt even think of trying to get any from either).

Kharn
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