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Posted: 6/3/2009 5:47:04 AM EST
This was asked at GD but because of igrnorant comments, it was locked. The mod suggested I post here.
I am going to assume all y'alls are going to be more civilized here.

So,

I am having a muslim friend and his family over for supper next Saturday (we've known each other for about 7 years
and work together)
Is there anything I should be aware about preparing their meal besides buying meat from halal market?

My wife and I don't drink so we won't be offering them any dem evil alchohols.

What about prayer before meal? I am a non denominational christian and my wife is a ethnic jew.
We've decided to ask for blessing in "Jesus's" name when we got married. What would be a
proper protocol here?

Background about the friend. He is black converted the sunni muslim (not nation of islam which he think of it as heresy)
He is married to a Pakistani woman who came to US to study. She was not conservative until they got married.
Now she wear hijab and coverall except face. I think he is pretty devout. Unlike other muslims at my work who
drink and party, he goes to mosque on Fridays, don't drink, don't swear.

Things I already know
Don't wear shorts. And don't shake hands with his wife.
Don't use left hand to pass food.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:04:46 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:10:50 AM EST
i would guess if they were devout enough for you to worry, they wouldnt come to your house and eat. If they know who you are and are still willing to come you should be allright.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:21:59 AM EST
you know,

just like any religious people i have been around. he will polity interject if he need something.

a Muslim friend was a guest in my house and he was helping me clean up after dinner, he handed me the left overs to place back in my refrigerator; there was a ton of bacon and pork and beer in the fridge. that is all... helped me clean, pick up, joked, laughed, i put the stuff in the fridge.

if you were at his home; you would ask politely for a min to say grace. if you didn't eat meat you would politely decline the meat and ask for seconds of salad.

you showing concern and going to the lengths you have will be more than enough for him, any small detail he will understand. just as you the christian and your wife the jew would do.

and Good, Good on you...Christians, Jews and Muslims breaking bread, love it.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:30:30 AM EST
[Last Edit: 6/3/2009 6:32:22 AM EST by N2CH_556]
Originally Posted By HBARLeatherneck:
i would guess if they were devout enough for you to worry, they wouldnt come to your house and eat. If they know who you are and are still willing to come you should be allright.


I don't think it works like that. It's not like they have to keep Kosher.

You could always ask your co-worker if there's anything in particular you need to do.

As long as you're getting the meat/poultry/whatever from the halal market, you should be GTG, right?

And just in-case, you might want to check the ingredients of anything else you serve (e.g., biscuits, gravy, etc) since sometimes beef broth or lard is an overlooked ingredient. Just imagine you're cooking for a vegetarian and you should be cool.

Reminds me of a place I used to work where the team consisted of a Muslim, a Jew, a Catholic and a Christian Vegetarian. Deciding on a restaurant we could all agree on for lunch was an "adventure" almost everyday.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:36:02 AM EST
Originally Posted By N2CH_556:
Originally Posted By HBARLeatherneck:
i would guess if they were devout enough for you to worry, they wouldnt come to your house and eat. If they know who you are and are still willing to come you should be allright.


Reminds me of a place I used to work where the team consisted of a Muslim, a Jew, a Catholic and a Christian Vegetarian. Deciding on a restaurant we could all agree on for lunch was an "adventure" almost everyday.


We had similar issue except it was a sunni, a shite, a sikh, two hindus, a jew, and two christians. We were on long term business trip to Austin for year a half. We had to plan about one hour ahead.

Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:46:27 AM EST
Originally Posted By N2CH_556:
Originally Posted By HBARLeatherneck:
i would guess if they were devout enough for you to worry, they wouldnt come to your house and eat. If they know who you are and are still willing to come you should be allright.


I don't think it works like that. It's not like they have to keep Kosher.

You could always ask your co-worker if there's anything in particular you need to do.

As long as you're getting the meat/poultry/whatever from the halal market, you should be GTG, right?

And just in-case, you might want to check the ingredients of anything else you serve (e.g., biscuits, gravy, etc) since sometimes beef broth or lard is an overlooked ingredient. Just imagine you're cooking for a vegetarian and you should be cool.

Reminds me of a place I used to work where the team consisted of a Muslim, a Jew, a Catholic and a Christian Vegetarian. Deciding on a restaurant we could all agree on for lunch was an "adventure" almost everyday.


i am used to dealing only with Jews. i have friends that are so strict that even if you kitchen is Kosher(mine is), is may not be good enough. I figured muslims were similar. We dont go out to eat. In our whole state there are only a couple of Kosher establishmnets. We save money eating at home anyway.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 6:53:49 AM EST
Seriously... just ask them.

I am some close friends who are Jewish.... I am the first to admit I know NOTHING about their rules and how observant they are. Whenever we have them over for some dinner, I simply ask up front if they have any dietary restrictions.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 7:15:50 AM EST
Ask him. Also, he is visiting you, not the other way around. He knows what he is walking into, so I am sure he will be taking care for himself. The fact that you care enough to ask should reassure him and he'll probably appreciate it.

As far as the blessing goes, here are a couple of thoughts... Acknowledge that the three religions there, while each different in its own right, share a common history and Abraham. You could each ask for a blessing in turn, or each to his Own in silence.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 7:30:48 AM EST
You didn't REALLY think you were going to get any muslims to out themselves with this, did you?

Honest question or not, this site is a shark tank.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 7:38:14 AM EST
I stayed for a few days with some Muslim friends in France. I couldn't tell you a lot about the protocol, but I know they were huge on lots of bread and that awesome mint tea. They did not say a prayer before the meal, at least not at the table. I was a guest so I was offered the opportunity to kill the lamb. This was a bit odd, but since we would be eating it, it wasn't too awkward. It was kind of nice eating something with my hands besides pizza or a sandwich.
Link Posted: 6/3/2009 10:50:43 AM EST
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 3:44:55 PM EST
Hopefully this isn't too late, make sure the soles of your shoe are down, and don't point them at anyone. Also, try not to have your back to them. Hope this helps.
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 3:51:30 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/7/2009 3:53:09 PM EST by ChrisLe]
Ask them! I have several Muslim friends ranging from the devout who follow many of the Islamic tenets as they pertain to dietary law, etc. to those that are very liberal in their beliefs. I've always asked them, and they are very appreciative of the fact that I took the time to do so.... Also, you can never go wrong with an after dinner peppermint tea....
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 4:47:58 PM EST
If your wife keeps Kosher, that is fine. Islamic law is less rigid, also many muslims will use kosher stores if there are no muslim ones there. Assume the no man to woman contact is good, same as orthodox Judiasm. Let your wife call the shots, Islam like Christianity is the childof Judiasm. I would refrain from a prayer to Jesus. Jesus is a prophet in Islam, there is only one G*d
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 6:33:36 PM EST
You could ask your friend to help you prepare.
Link Posted: 6/7/2009 8:26:12 PM EST
I liked the idea of sharing in the blessing - each taking a turn (maybe except his wife, although I don't know for sure). The sharing is a nice idea.

Hmm . . . too bad you couldn't video the event and share it with the entire M.E.! Show them it IS possible to all get along - and even to be friends!
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 12:45:47 PM EST
This depends greatly on your friend's personal beliefs, one thing that all sects and mathabs (schools of jurisprudence) agree on:

1) alcohol is also in many flavor extracts like vanilla and even some soy sauces. Most muslims don't have a problem if these products are in food items that are cooked, since the ethanol cooks off. Some more strict ones do, however.
2) Some sects of Shi'a (Ismailis) will not eat shellfish (similar to kosher law). Sunnis generally do, especially ones from port cities or islands. :)
3) Saying grace: Muslims believe that Jesus, alayhi salam, was a Prophet and Messenger of God and not a manifestation of God Itself. If you say grace over food in the name of anyone other than God Almighty (Al-Lah in Arabic). The food would immediately become Haram (forbidden). Suratul Maidah (Sura 5) cites this explicitly in the first 7 or so verses. I would just stick with God Almight and avoind the mentioning of specific names. :)


If you have any questions in the future, feel free to ask me directly, I have a pretty good background in Fiqh (jurisprudence) across all 4 major Sunni Mathabs as well as 12er Shia and Ismailism.

John
Link Posted: 6/14/2009 2:39:36 PM EST
[Last Edit: 6/14/2009 2:40:15 PM EST by jcwaters]
Originally Posted By DJinGA:
You didn't REALLY think you were going to get any muslims to out themselves with this, did you?

Honest question or not, this site is a shark tank.



Ashaduan la ilaha ilAllahu wahadu la shareek Allah wa ashaduan Muhammadan abduhu wa rasulu, sallallauhu alayhi wassalaam.


...and God Bless America.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 2:16:35 AM EST
Everything went well. Real nice couple of hours.
Link Posted: 6/15/2009 2:23:44 AM EST
Originally Posted By jcwaters:
3) Saying grace: Muslims believe that Jesus, alayhi salam, was a Prophet and Messenger of God and not a manifestation of God Itself. If you say grace over food in the name of anyone other than God Almighty (Al-Lah in Arabic). The food would immediately become Haram (forbidden). Suratul Maidah (Sura 5) cites this explicitly in the first 7 or so verses. I would just stick with God Almight and avoind the mentioning of specific names. :)


I did not know that. I am a christian (some may dispute that because of my belief) but do not go by main stream doctrine of trinity. I believe God and Jesus are separate entity.
I had my 11 year old give thanks. She did ask in Jesus name.

The guest did whisper Bismallah.

He also talked about buying half of cow from me. He said it would be halal if it was done Jewish kosher way of slaughtering.

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