CHRISTMAS CAKE

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Vodka
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the vodka to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the vodka again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add one teaspoon of sugar.
Beat again.
At this point it's best to make sure the vodka is still OK.
Try another cup .... just in case
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver.
Sample the vodka to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a chit
Check the vodka.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a
spoon of sugar, or somefink.
Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Place the smixture into a
sorcerpan - thats like a phlyingpan with higher sidesss - turn the
sorcerpan 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through  the window,
Finish the vodka and make a martooni

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Should you be messing with a beater after that much vodka?

Probably not.