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Posted: 10/12/2004 7:32:25 PM EST
OK. Need you all to put yourself in a HYPOTHETICAL situation... Got it?

You dated your spouse for years before you guys got married. You get married, have a kid or two ... or twelve. THEN as you are sitting behind the computer or at your mail box and you get a mysterious E-Mail or Letter that says your spouse cheated on you when you were dating. You confront her or him and there is silence... or confirmation.

What do you do?

How do you react?

Does your trust of your significant other change?


I just LOVE these Mindf*ck posts. Its one of those "just suppose" questions. If any of you have a real life scenario that really happened, what happened?
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:33:11 PM EST
Work through it.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:36:03 PM EST
who cares wasnt a problem before you knew about it why make it a problem now?
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:37:22 PM EST
nothing a couple grand wouldn't fix.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:38:15 PM EST
OH BTW!!!! This has NOT happened to DrFrige or his wife. At least I know I didnt cheat.... Hmmmmm.

Now I got ME thinking.... IF she....... I MEAN.... NOW I GOTS TO THINKING!!!

WHAT IF SHE DID!!!!!! ... IM RICK JAMES BITCH!!!!!!


No no no no... I dont know why I come up with these scenarios... just do.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:38:28 PM EST

Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:39:29 PM EST
Dating? No, wouldn't make any diff to me UNLESS there was a commitment in place between the two at that time.

Dating implies that the two of you were still in the "search" phase.

Nothing to see here, move along.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:40:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By TheSelecter:
who cares wasnt a problem before you knew about it why make it a problem now?



Yeah but all this time she was hiding it from you... a dirty little secret. When you and your wife were in a fight, was she thinking... "Asshole... Im GLAD I fucked Larry now."
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:40:15 PM EST
kick her ass
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:40:23 PM EST
guilt trip her into letting you stick it in her pooper.......then post the pics here for us.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:42:52 PM EST
It means you have a 'coupon'. You get to cheat one time without guilt.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:43:55 PM EST
Depends on how long ago it was, & how serrious it was.

10 yrs ago, dated someone else? No problem.

10 days ago, & she fornacated with him. She's gone.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:47:50 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:52:19 PM EST

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
My first wife did--but I didn't find out until after we were divorced. My mother and brother just HATED her--and I never knew why. After we were divorced (for other reasons) my brother finally told me she had a boyfriend who literally ducked out the front door as I entered the back. It turns out most everyone knew but me--my brother, his wife, my mother, grandparents, HER parents (who I was very close to, and am still on very friendly terms with), and most of the church we attended. I was FURIOUS no one told me. To this day (we divorced in 1985), I don't think she knows I know.



What reason did they give for not telling you!?!
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:54:37 PM EST

Originally Posted By Searcherfortruth:

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
My first wife did--but I didn't find out until after we were divorced. My mother and brother just HATED her--and I never knew why. After we were divorced (for other reasons) my brother finally told me she had a boyfriend who literally ducked out the front door as I entered the back. It turns out most everyone knew but me--my brother, his wife, my mother, grandparents, HER parents (who I was very close to, and am still on very friendly terms with), and most of the church we attended. I was FURIOUS no one told me. To this day (we divorced in 1985), I don't think she knows I know.



What reason did they give for not telling you!?!

Because if they told him, She would deny it. He would believe her and she would make him write off his family. [Yoda]Very powerful this 'pussy'[/Yoda}
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:57:29 PM EST

It turns out most everyone knew but me--my brother, his wife, my mother, grandparents, HER parents (who I was very close to, and am still on very friendly terms with), and most of the church we attended.



Damn...!

At least your brother or mother should of had your back and let you know.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 7:57:59 PM EST
Dating ??

Depends on when . In the first few months , No big deal

The week before the marriage , real big deal .
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 8:03:05 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 8:05:05 PM EST
If it happened when we were dating, I guess I would just delete it and go on
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 8:06:13 PM EST

Originally Posted By _Ugly_:
It means you have a 'coupon'. You get to cheat one time without guilt.



Yeah, that's it! "Censure --- and move on!"

Link Posted: 10/12/2004 8:37:28 PM EST
I have been on both sides of the coin and I honestly don't know if I can live through that pain again.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 8:39:49 PM EST
If you were dating and went forward onto engagment then marriage , it should have been disclosed.
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 9:15:39 PM EST

Originally Posted By MrClean4Hire:
If you were dating and went forward onto engagment then marriage , it should have been disclosed.



Ah, but there lies the question. Will you ever get over that?
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 9:20:18 PM EST
Get her to buy you a gun.. (promise you wont use it on her) it would just be a really nice way for her to show you shes sorry
Link Posted: 10/12/2004 9:31:32 PM EST
DATING is NOT Married.

If she did it, I wouldn't want to know, especially after years of marriage and kids.

And she should not be told of any of my transgressions either if the same circumstance.

Why dredge all that up only to cause the other person pain?
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 3:30:16 AM EST
Was she dating a man or a woman? Because the latter could be a FMF...... I know I know, hit her in the pooper and post the pics!
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 3:32:01 AM EST
Mysterious E-mail about when we were dating YEARS AGO?

I laugh and forget about it.

Sgatr215
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 3:32:40 AM EST
On the serious side, i fthe dating occured in the begining of the relationship, that would be one thing, and if there was a deep commitment by her after this occured, it is best talked about and left alone.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:19:53 AM EST
Dating? Just forget it. ANd, don't even tell her, she may feel bad, and who needs that?
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:23:56 AM EST

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
My first wife did--but I didn't find out until after we were divorced. My mother and brother just HATED her--and I never knew why. After we were divorced (for other reasons) my brother finally told me she had a boyfriend who literally ducked out the front door as I entered the back. It turns out most everyone knew but me--my brother, his wife, my mother, grandparents, HER parents (who I was very close to, and am still on very friendly terms with), and most of the church we attended. I was FURIOUS no one told me. To this day (we divorced in 1985), I don't think she knows I know.



nice family there, beekeeper...

man, now THAT is messed up... i would be furious too!
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:25:23 AM EST
If it was long in the past I would blow it off and let it go. We are both different people today than we were years ago...and if she did back then, its in the past and over with. If it was recent....or since we got married...divorce...no other questions asked, just get the FK OUT!!!

Something that happened before we got engaged is old news...but after that ring went on her finger....there would be no excuse that I could accept. The marriage would be over at the same time the conversation was. Period.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:32:11 AM EST

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
[Yoda]Very powerful this 'pussy'[/Yoda}



Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:39:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/13/2004 4:41:23 AM EST by The_Beer_Slayer]
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 4:57:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By TheSelecter:
who cares wasnt a problem before you knew about it why make it a problem now?



Why would it be a problem now? Well, if your spouse cheated on you when you were dating, they might be cheating on you now. Unless of course, if your wife screwing other guys is ok with you, then you wouldn't have a problem at all.
Link Posted: 10/13/2004 5:17:27 AM EST
Dating: no problem.

GunLvr
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