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Posted: 12/11/2013 7:01:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/11/2013 5:25:37 PM EDT by Drsalee]
My daughter came home from school yesterday and told my wife and I about an incident she witnessed.  It is coincidental, in that it is tangentially related to another thread going about an ARFCOMER's kid who was suspended for making a Hitler joke in front of a Jewish kid.  You can read my thoughts on that, in that thread.

Here is the story.  

My daughter witnessed verbal teasing of a Jewish boy in her 10th grade math class.  It was at an intensity that it brought the kid to tears. Three boys were ridiculing him on his physical stature, he is a skinny little guy and the teasers are pretty muscular wrestlers. They were also ridiculing him on the the fact that he has a crappy religion and he doesn't get to celebrate Christmas.  After the other boys left, my daughter attempted to console the kid, his reply was, "Thank you, but don't worry about it.......I am used to it."  There was no physical contact or threat of physical contact.

My daughter was beside herself and she didn't know what to do.  She is a Grapplette, which is the pep squad for the wrestling team, so she approached some of her friends on the team and told them of the situation and expressed her dissatisfaction and disgust with the issue and asked them to handle it.

My daughter asked me if she should report the aggressor-kids to a teacher.

What would you tell your daughter ?

UPDATE:

Turns out I didn't have to do a damn thing.  She pretty much handled the situation.

She talked to her friends on the team to utilize peer pressure to discourage the bullying.  Since Monday, when this happened, the wrestler kids have not picked on the Jewish kid.  The kid being picked on has since been pretty rude to my daughter.  She thinks he now feels embarrassed.

My daughters history teacher, is also an assistant wrestling coach and a reserve Marine Corp pilot.........I advised her that this was her go-to guy if she witnesses a reoccurrence.  He is her favorite teacher and he likes her because she has an A+ in his class.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:04:32 AM EDT
She probably already did the right thing. Pressure from their peers is all those guys might respond to.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:04:42 AM EDT
the jewish kid will probably be pretty successful in life....
the jocks will be a crap shoot as to whether or not they pull their heads out of their asses...

wouldn't involve the man...
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:05:23 AM EDT
On arfcom, bullying is good, and exactly what that kid needed.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:05:46 AM EDT
kids' tribalism sure is charming.

maybe they'll make it even more fun for the 'bullied' kid if they get in trouble for it?
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:05:46 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
wouldn't involve the man...
View Quote

Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:05:49 AM EDT
I think she should at the very least tell the coach. I would hope he would not condone such behavior from his wrestlers.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:25 AM EDT
Don't tell a teacher.  It will end making it worse for the jewish kid.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:27 AM EDT
If it bugs him enough he will take care of it if not seems like he's not too worried about it . "bullying" in 10th grade deserves a punch in the fucking mouth not tattle telling. But I graduated 20yrs ago before all the pc bullshit really set in
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:28 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By garwj:
She probably already did the right thing. Pressure from their peers is all those guys might respond to.
View Quote




+1. Peer pressure trumps adult pressure every time.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:32 AM EDT
If she is on good terms with the coach, tell him.

WAY more influence over the jocks than a teacher or administrator.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:45 AM EDT
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

Good for your daughter.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:06:46 AM EDT
Tough call but I think from what she has done already and from the boy saying to not worry about I would tell her to leave it there for now.  If she tells a teacher and the wrestler boys get in trouble they could blame the Jewish boy more and bully him more.  I'd say she has already fired off a warning to the boys to cut it out but if it continues she will let a teacher know.

Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:08:41 AM EDT
I bet if your daughter talks to the wrestling coach about what she saw, and tells

him that she would not feel comfortable supporting a team which does not uphold

the school's values that the coach (if he is a decent fellow) will knock their dicks in the dirt

and bring that shit to a halt.  My theory is that student athletes are representatives

of their school and are held to a high standard.  I would hope the coach feels the

same way.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:08:57 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By gman82001:
If it bugs him enough he will take care of it if not seems like he's not too worried about it . "bullying" in 10th grade deserves a punch in the fucking mouth not tattle telling. But I graduated 20yrs ago before all the pc bullshit really set in
View Quote


The person she is describing is skinny and weak, getting picked on by not only much larger and stronger kids, but a pack of them.  If you went up and punched them in the mouth, he would get fucking jumped.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:09:22 AM EDT
Kids will be kids.

I would tell my daughter she has a heart of gold and to try to stay out of it.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:10:22 AM EDT


You can't fix nerds.


Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:10:40 AM EDT
I'm usually not one to 'invite the man into one's life', but I think your daughter shouldn't let it drop.

Coach needs to be told and the bullies need to be slapped down HARD.  As a parent I would suggest you talk to the coach.  If only your daughter brings it to his attention it might just get swept under the rug.

Bullying by jocks only fuels a sense of entitlement ("the rules don't apply to us, we're ATHLETES") and picking on a kid for his religion is just...jeeze, seriously, this is supposed to be the  21st century.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:11:29 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By makintrax73:
I bet if your daughter talks to the wrestling coach about what she saw, and tells

him that she would not feel comfortable supporting a team which does not uphold

the school's values that the coach (if he is a decent fellow) will knock their dicks in the dirt

and bring that shit to a halt.  My theory is that student athletes are representatives

of their school and are held to a high standard.  I would hope the coach feels the

same way.
View Quote

now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:13:21 AM EDT
"Never invite the man into your life" is every bit as applicable to School Admins as it is .gov. She did the right thing by taking it to the shit-heads team mates. If that doesn't work, she should talk to their coach.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:13:44 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By RevolverRO:
I'm usually not one to 'invite the man into one's life', but I think your daughter shouldn't let it drop.

Coach needs to be told and the bullies need to be slapped down HARD.  As a parent I would suggest you talk to the coach.  If only your daughter brings it to his attention it might just get swept under the rug.

Bullying by jocks only fuels a sense of entitlement ("the rules don't apply to us, we're ATHLETES") and picking on a kid for his religion is just...jeeze, seriously, this is supposed to be the  21st century.
View Quote


When I played sports in high school that's exactly what I thought.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:14:05 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ar2de:
If she is on good terms with the coach, tell him.

WAY more influence over the jocks than a teacher or administrator.
View Quote


Winner.

I would have rather faced pretty much any punishment in HS rather than have any of my coaches catch wind of me pulling some crap.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:14:10 AM EDT
I don't know what I would tell my kid to do.  If she intervenes, she could be their focus next and have to deal with the ridicule.  If she does nothing, well that isn't right either.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:14:25 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Pony151515:


The person she is describing is skinny and weak, getting picked on by not only much larger and stronger kids, but a pack of them.  If you went up and punched them in the mouth, he would get fucking jumped.
View Quote View All Quotes
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Pony151515:
Originally Posted By gman82001:
If it bugs him enough he will take care of it if not seems like he's not too worried about it . "bullying" in 10th grade deserves a punch in the fucking mouth not tattle telling. But I graduated 20yrs ago before all the pc bullshit really set in


The person she is describing is skinny and weak, getting picked on by not only much larger and stronger kids, but a pack of them.  If you went up and punched them in the mouth, he would get fucking jumped.

in my experience (former high school jock myself) the guys doing the ribbing like that mostly wouldn't say a damn thing by themselves....it's a group think kinda thing....they all have to show each other they've got big balls and are manly and tough....by pushing around something smaller and weaker....

as i said above, it'll be a crap shoot as to whether or not they pull their heads out of their asses and start acting like decent people....there's not a lot of individuality in high school...there is a lot of follow the leader - just not many real leaders...
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:14:54 AM EDT
I'm from a wrestling/fighting culture - I think you need to involve the adult - the coach must know about this.  

We fighters tend to be idiots - there are also some smart folks among us who care, such as your daughter.  

This will NOT resolve itself.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:15:21 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:15:49 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By VBC:
Kids will be kids.

I would tell my daughter she has a heart of gold and to try to stay out of it.
View Quote


no, this is not what fighters do - fighters move, take action, gain the dominant position and finish the fight.  If his daughter doesn't do all these things in that order she failed.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:16:09 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
the jewish kid will probably be pretty successful in life....
the jocks will be a crap shoot as to whether or not they pull their heads out of their asses...

wouldn't involve the man...
View Quote



Yup.  Hopefully the kid can harness that pain and use it to make himself rich.  

I would say that she shouldn't involve any teachers, etc unless it becomes physical.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:16:45 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Pony151515:


The person she is describing is skinny and weak, getting picked on by not only much larger and stronger kids, but a pack of them.  If you went up and punched them in the mouth, he would get fucking jumped.
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By Pony151515:
Originally Posted By gman82001:
If it bugs him enough he will take care of it if not seems like he's not too worried about it . "bullying" in 10th grade deserves a punch in the fucking mouth not tattle telling. But I graduated 20yrs ago before all the pc bullshit really set in


The person she is describing is skinny and weak, getting picked on by not only much larger and stronger kids, but a pack of them.  If you went up and punched them in the mouth, he would get fucking jumped.


Understood but ive seen it done and ill tell you it works. Just my opinion ymmv but its how shit used to work before the days of the scrawny kid being over protected by every adult they come into contact with but the "bullying" getting so bad they grab a gun and shoot 20 people ... Again only my opinion.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:17:22 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 12/11/2013 7:18:10 AM EDT by WildApple]
I been told the wife's nephew is being bullied in school





He is a 5'11 200 pound 12 year old with size 14 shoes





He ain't even turning 13 for 4-5 months yet





One of these days that boy is gonna ruin some bully's day

 
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:17:48 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...
View Quote


No, but I did wrestle in middle school, and the coach would be the absolute LAST person
that I would want to hear about any of my bad behavior.

I went to a Catholic HS, that were state champs in wrestling a couple years there, and I
was in no way shape or form up to their standards.  But I can tell you for a fact there was
little to no bullying in our school.  The deans were also wrestling and football coaches
and they busted heads if anyone got out of line.

But maybe that is unique to small towns and catholic schools, who knows.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:18:33 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By texassooner:



Yup.  Hopefully the kid can harness that pain and use it to make himself rich.  

I would say that she shouldn't involve any teachers, etc unless it becomes physical.
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Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By texassooner:
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
the jewish kid will probably be pretty successful in life....
the jocks will be a crap shoot as to whether or not they pull their heads out of their asses...

wouldn't involve the man...



Yup.  Hopefully the kid can harness that pain and use it to make himself rich.  

I would say that she shouldn't involve any teachers, etc unless it becomes physical.

yes, i should've enunciated that.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:19:12 AM EDT
Is it a public school? Because I sure as hell wouldn't trust a public school to do the right thing. Ask her if there is a teacher she might feel comfortable telling. But something should be done, I've got no tolerance for making fun of someone's religion.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:20:07 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
the jewish kid will probably be pretty successful in life....
the jocks will be a crap shoot as to whether or not they pull their heads out of their asses...

wouldn't involve the man...
View Quote



truth

good on your daughter.... sounds like you raised her well
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:20:47 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By VBC:
Kids will be kids.

I would tell my daughter she has a heart of gold and to try to stay out of it.
View Quote


Oh fuck this bullshit, retarded advice in the hardest way possible.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:21:10 AM EDT
Fuck the coach.  He is just going to lookout for his team

Let your daughter get back to school and you make a call to the admin.  let the people who get paid to handle it, handle it

That way your daughter doesn't need to play bully police
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:21:18 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By surveyor3:
"Never invite the man into your life" is every bit as applicable to School Admins as it is .gov. She did the right thing by taking it to the shit-heads team mates. If that doesn't work, she should talk to their coach.
View Quote


I might take it a little further by not only having a chat with the coach, but with the bullies parents.  If it continues, talk to the administration and make a formal religious harassment complaint, with a carbon copy to the local school board.  If ANYTHING happens after that, call the cops if warranted (threats or actual physical violence) and let the kid's parents know they will be hearing from your lawyer.   Sometimes it takes a little pain on the parents to make them rein in their kids.

I think athletes should be held to a HIGHER standard than the rest of the students.  Unfortunately in this day and age, the little fuckers are allowed to run wild because money and school prestige is apparently more important than anything else.  
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:21:27 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:

now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
Originally Posted By makintrax73:
I bet if your daughter talks to the wrestling coach about what she saw, and tells

him that she would not feel comfortable supporting a team which does not uphold

the school's values that the coach (if he is a decent fellow) will knock their dicks in the dirt

and bring that shit to a halt.  My theory is that student athletes are representatives

of their school and are held to a high standard.  I would hope the coach feels the

same way.

now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...


Talking to the coach will get positive results, guaranteed.  Student athletes are held to a higher standard than students and represent the school, the entire school..staff, faculty and students.

Any coach worth his sweat socks knows this and wants his guys to show him and his team in a good light.  The coach can punish bad behavior by just benching the little shits for a match or two, and no one can say shit about it. He can also drop them from the squad for violating his rules, which can be more strict than laws or school rules.  Also the coach is key for college recommendations, and is usually asked by the students if a referral is needed.

BTDT, HS and College varsity athlete here.  Coaches have almost god like powers to aspiring athletes.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:21:52 AM EDT
Strong kids have always been mean to weak kids.  I think part of it is to toughen them up.  Not sure it really works but the kid in the story did seem to have a strong personal attitude despite the teasing.  I don't think that behavior will ever stop.



Since the kids were wrestlers they should have known better than to do something like that.  The correct action would be for your daughter to mention what she saw to the wrestling coach, not the principal or another teacher.  The coach will make them pay for it, because their actions are reflected on him, and he will do so in a manner that doesn't ruin their lives.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:23:42 AM EDT
Shit, my daughter probably would have jumped their asses over it.

Self-expression isn't one of her problems.

I'm not advocating that course.however. I think your daughter did fine. I'd probably leave it up to the boy who was being bullied to report it, if he feels the need to do it. She might be setting herself up for some trouble, if she takes matters into her own hands.

I would encourage her to support him, should he choose to report it. I'm sure the school would appreciate having a witness to the event. She might catch some shit from the aggressors, though.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:23:56 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By HairlessOtter:

You can't fix nerds.

View Quote


Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:25:12 AM EDT

Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By WildApple:


I been told the wife's nephew is being bullied in school



He is a 5'11 200 pound 12 year old with size 14 shoes



He ain't even turning 13 for 4-5 months yet



One of these days that boy is gonna ruin some bully's day  
View Quote
My daughter is 13 and built about like him. But she was a tomboy who loved to wrestle and trade punches.  She is finally starting to get involved in being girly but I fear for some little miss priss who wants to start some shit with her. Hell, even now when she goes full bore trying to take me down I have to get her down quick or I'm struggling.

 
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:25:51 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By AKsala:
On arfcom, bullying is good, and exactly what that kid needed.
View Quote



it is necessary to an extent. it teaches you to trust no one, and that most people are assholes.
not to mention it teaches you that you need to stand up for yourself or the bullying will continue.


that said, relentless bullying should be addressed by peers or teachers/administration.
telling a joke like the other OP's son did... no that is not bullying.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:26:09 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By ar2de:
If she is on good terms with the coach, tell him.

WAY more influence over the jocks than a teacher or administrator.
View Quote

This.  The coach, if he is worth a shit, will fix this.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:26:23 AM EDT
Anyone know what the kid who's being harassed wants?
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:27:14 AM EDT
What happened to strong standing up for the weak instead of standing on them?

Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:27:22 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:

now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...
View Quote View All Quotes
View All Quotes
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By TexasOutdoorsman:
Originally Posted By makintrax73:
I bet if your daughter talks to the wrestling coach about what she saw, and tells

him that she would not feel comfortable supporting a team which does not uphold

the school's values that the coach (if he is a decent fellow) will knock their dicks in the dirt

and bring that shit to a halt.  My theory is that student athletes are representatives

of their school and are held to a high standard.  I would hope the coach feels the

same way.

now, i'll admit this is a wide brush to be painting with.....
but, did you play sports in high school?
my football coaches learned me some of the most distasteful jokes i've ever heard - second only to grandpa...


That might be, but my wrestling coach would have had our asses, if he heard we did something like that.

Depends on the guy, really.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:28:48 AM EDT
i think the daughter should get with the rest of the girls on the pep squad and use the girls to teach the guys their lesson.
they won't care what coach says...they're stubborn.
if the females don't give them the time of day because their known as racist assholes around the school - they'll change their tune, even if only outwardly.
my coach would've given you a "i'm shocked, shocked i tell you!" if you told him we were making racist jokes or giving someone hell about their religion....we might've had to run windsprints till we puked - maybe..
if it got physical, coach would've kicked our asses himself if he had the chance.
let their fire burn out by not giving them any more fuel - they wake up a bit when they realize they're completely irrelevant, and they're not getting anything out of being dicks...YMMV
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:29:52 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By baitdragger:
Fuck the coach.  He is just going to lookout for his team

Let your daughter get back to school and you make a call to the admin.  let the people who get paid to handle it, handle it

That way your daughter doesn't need to play bully police
View Quote


The coach would have to be in this league to not run the boys into the mat:



Possible, but not what I would expect from most HS coaches.

Even if all he cared about was protecting the team he would be making darn sure they don't do something again dumb enough to get them yanked from the squad or worse.

I'm betting a sh!t ton of wind sprints in those boys future.
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:30:20 AM EDT
Discussion ForumsJump to Quoted PostQuote History
Originally Posted By 2ndamendmentknights:
Anyone know what the kid who's being harassed wants?
View Quote

You mean, how do we really know he doesn't like getting picked on?
Link Posted: 12/11/2013 7:32:26 AM EDT
Video tape it for awhile. If anything that looks like assault occurs, bypass the school administration and go straight to the police. School admins don't do shit about bullies.
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