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Posted: 7/3/2012 8:23:46 PM EST
I fired off a message on a dating site the other day to a guy who has a 3 year old little boy, and he writes back:
"Nice to meet you. Maybe we can meet for dinner sometime if you like. If you don't mind I bring my son hes a big part of my life. Looking forward to hearing from you" Now, I like kids, even little ones like this and it doesn't sound like the mother of the little guy is too much in his life, but geeeez.......bringing your little boy on a FIRST date??? REALLY???? This guy is just over 50 years old, and so I am sure having a 3 year old he is an older, possibly protective dad. ––-but the thing is, a first date is all about TRYING to get to know someone new, and with a toddler there, it would be all about the child.––-most guys my age are grandparents already. Most guys are a little reserved when it comes to their dates meeting the kids (and I am sure you single/divorced guys on here who have kids are the same way)....and that I do get, and fully support. If I had kids I would NOT want them meeting my dates until I know it is going to go somewhere. |
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He is being very upfront with you.
The kid probably comes in first place in his life. He comes in second. If you are very lucky, you might come in third (unless there is someone else). If this is not what you want, move on. |
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A 50-year old with a 3-year old child? Hmm.. yeah his profile says he is "single" and not divorced so I suspect this is a product with a much younger woman.......an "ooops.....we forgot the B/C type thing"....... I guess I need to find out more........ I am 51 and not sure I am ready for a 3 year old........but then again, I never got to have kids. I like grown up kids!!!! ––-and grandbabies you can hand back to the parents!!! |
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I fired off a message on a dating site the other day to a guy who has a 3 year old little boy, and he writes back: "Nice to meet you. Maybe we can meet for dinner sometime if you like. If you don't mind I bring my son hes a big part of my life. Looking forward to hearing from you" Now, I like kids, even little ones like this and it doesn't sound like the mother of the little guy is too much in his life, but geeeez.......bringing your little boy on a FIRST date??? REALLY???? This guy is just over 50 years old, and so I am sure having a 3 year old he is an older, possibly protective dad. ––-but the thing is, a first date is all about TRYING to get to know someone new, and with a toddler there, it would be all about the child.––-most guys my age are grandparents already. Most guys are a little reserved when it comes to their dates meeting the kids (and I am sure you single/divorced guys on here who have kids are the same way)....and that I do get, and fully support. If I had kids I would NOT want them meeting my dates until I know it is going to go somewhere. See that's the cool thing about being a man, we can have kids forever- just throwing that seed all around, skeet skeet skeet, bringing my three year old to the picnic, it's all good. |
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"If you do not mind if I bring my ex-husband, he is on work release."
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"If you do not mind if I bring my ex-husband, he is on work release." you win!!!! |
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I have a similar story.
I was 31, she was 29. Apparently "If you're free Friday night, how'd you like to come over, watch some TV, and i can give you that massage you've been talking about" means "come over with your daughter, we'll turn on netflix/Fraggle Rock so she stops screaming, and you can leave in 45 minutes because she's an unholy terror. Second Date FAIL. |
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I have a similar story. I was 31, she was 29. Apparently "If you're free Friday night, how'd you like to come over, watch some TV, and i can give you that massage you've been talking about" means "come over with your daughter, we'll turn on netflix/Fraggle Rock so she stops screaming, and you can leave in 45 minutes because she's an unholy terror. Second Date FAIL. Lmao thats awesome!! Why do people not realize how stupid they are??? |
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You should be honored. He could be dating younger, more self absorbed women, but instead he is offering to date a more mature, open minded woman. I'm betting that he has been around enough that this might be his way of cutting through the bullshit. "This is who I am, take it or leave it" He's in a target rich environment and he knows it. He will eventually find an attractive woman that's interested in being a foster Mom. It sounds like you don't want a small child in your life, so just tell him. |
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I have a similar story. I was 31, she was 29. Apparently "If you're free Friday night, how'd you like to come over, watch some TV, and i can give you that massage you've been talking about" means "come over with your daughter, we'll turn on netflix/Fraggle Rock so she stops screaming, and you can leave in 45 minutes because she's an unholy terror. Second Date FAIL. Call me shallow but I would have have told her "no" and shut the door in her face. |
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He is being very upfront with you. The kid probably comes in first place in his life. He comes in second. If you are very lucky, you might come in third (unless there is someone else). If this is not what you want, move on. This. He is letting you know up front what's up. Posted Via AR15.Com Mobile |
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Only reason daughter knows the most recent woman I've gone out with a few times is because we met as coaches for the softball team our daughters were on. And our daughters are all 16 and up (we both have 16 year olds, she also has an 18 year old daughter). Only reason daughter even knows I've been on other dates is she made a comment that I needed to get over her mother and get out to meet women, I laughed at her and told her I was already doing that, I just wasn't telling her when I went out on dates (nice thing about having a kid old enough to take care of herself :) ).
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whoah....at first I thought the OP was a dude...
Then I saw OP's callsign |
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I agree he's just being upfront. Your reaction to this is important to him. That you are not happy means he doesn't have to waste his time with you.
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I fired off a message on a dating site the other day to a guy who has a 3 year old little boy, and he writes back: "Nice to meet you. Maybe we can meet for dinner sometime if you like. If you don't mind I bring my son hes a big part of my life. Looking forward to hearing from you" Now, I like kids, even little ones like this and it doesn't sound like the mother of the little guy is too much in his life, but geeeez.......bringing your little boy on a FIRST date??? REALLY???? This guy is just over 50 years old, and so I am sure having a 3 year old he is an older, possibly protective dad. ––-but the thing is, a first date is all about TRYING to get to know someone new, and with a toddler there, it would be all about the child.––-most guys my age are grandparents already. Most guys are a little reserved when it comes to their dates meeting the kids (and I am sure you single/divorced guys on here who have kids are the same way)....and that I do get, and fully support. If I had kids I would NOT want them meeting my dates until I know it is going to go somewhere. See that's the cool thing about being a man, we can have kids forever- just throwing that seed all around, skeet skeet skeet, bringing my three year old to the picnic, it's all good. Classic |
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Usually it's the women that say the kid is a "big part of my life" which translates to "I'm a single mom with no job and nobody to watch this kid so I don't have a life anymore".
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I fired off a message on a dating site the other day to a guy who has a 3 year old little boy, and he writes back: "Nice to meet you. Maybe we can meet for dinner sometime if you like. If you don't mind I bring my son hes a big part of my life. Looking forward to hearing from you" Now, I like kids, even little ones like this and it doesn't sound like the mother of the little guy is too much in his life, but geeeez.......bringing your little boy on a FIRST date??? REALLY???? This guy is just over 50 years old, and so I am sure having a 3 year old he is an older, possibly protective dad. ––-but the thing is, a first date is all about TRYING to get to know someone new, and with a toddler there, it would be all about the child.––-most guys my age are grandparents already. Most guys are a little reserved when it comes to their dates meeting the kids (and I am sure you single/divorced guys on here who have kids are the same way)....and that I do get, and fully support. If I had kids I would NOT want them meeting my dates until I know it is going to go somewhere. Hell, I'll go for it! 55, married. 2 kids, 6 grandkids, but I won't bring any of 'em with me. Wanna meet for lunch at the motel 6 on I20 in Greenville, MS, or LA, or TX in the next 2 or 3 months? |
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If the OP had played her cards right, she could have gotten herself a nice evening at Chuck E Cheese. Free pizza, and I bet he would have sprung for some tokens for his date.
OP, you missed a damn god time. |
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You marry someone with kids you are now a parent to those kids. If he is shopping for someone that is marriage material it is a pretty decent strategy to narrow the herd to those willing to take on that kind of responsibility.
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What if his son is a special needs kid and he needs to bring him around?
Just be up front with him. |
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What if his son is a special needs kid and he needs to bring him around? Just be up front with him. What if his son is on life support and any moment away from him could result in fatal consequences? |
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What if his son is a special needs kid and he needs to bring him around? Just be up front with him. Having a child with special needs does not preclude hiring a babysitter. |
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You don't bring your damn kids on a first date. Sheesh, what's wrong with people.
I'd take you out if I wasn't already dating a cougar. (I've seen your BODT ) I think she would be pretty pissed losing her cub |
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What if his son is a special needs kid and he needs to bring him around? Just be up front with him. Having a child with special needs does not preclude hiring a babysitter. Sometimes it does. If the child is autistic, for example, or has any condition which requires a set routine. ETA: Army vet friend of mine has an autistic son and he brings him everywhere. He was fortunate enough to get involved with someone that didn't hang up on that. YMMV |
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whoah....at first I thought the OP was a dude... Then I saw OP's callsign Ñope!! All female here. I've met a few ARF folks. NoloContendre is one. |
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funny you mention that!!! Chuck E Cheese was the first thing that popped into my head!! I suppose I could get a good show in as well. Sesame Street on ice!!
If the OP had played her cards right, she could have gotten herself a nice evening at Chuck E Cheese. Free pizza, and I bet he would have sprung for some tokens for his date. OP, you missed a damn god time. |
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Apparently "If you're free Friday night, how'd you like to come over, watch some TV, and i can give you that massage you've been talking about" means "come over with your daughter, we'll turn on netflix/Fraggle Rock so she stops screaming, and you can leave in 45 minutes because she's an unholy terror. Second Date FAIL. That was her way of making sure nothing happened. Just a guess on my part. |
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Quoted: Hi,ATLPaeachGirl, your profile is awesome. Do you mind if I bring my Honey Badger (Don't worry Waffle House is cool with service animals)? He's my life coach http://www.forkparty.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/Honey-Badger-Buster.jpg Waffle House on a first date? Why drop that kind of cash on a first date? Get some coupons and head to BK Lounge. |
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Are you kidding? Babysitters are expensive!!! Sounds like he's not sure you're worth the ten bucks an hour. |
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I'm very happy in my marriage, and I love my two step-kids. But...
If I ever found myself single again, I'd never seriously date a woman with kids again. It is the most difficult dynamic I've ever dealt with. |
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A 50-year old with a 3-year old child? Hmm.. yeah his profile says he is "single" and not divorced so I suspect this is a product with a much younger woman.......an "ooops.....we forgot the B/C type thing"....... I guess I need to find out more........ I am 51 and not sure I am ready for a 3 year old........but then again, I never got to have kids. I like grown up kids!!!! ––-and grandbabies you can hand back to the parents!!! That statement right there tells me you should bail. No offense but any one who is not sure. And never had kids. Is not gonna be happy with a 3 year old running around. For the record I took my than 7 year old girl on a first date. That woman is snoring next to me right now. We had talked on line. I made it clear about the fact that my kid comes first. She also had kids and understood. We celebrate 6 years this month. |
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I think it's fucked up and I wouldn't be a part of any meeting with his child in attendance just yet. I talk to several guys who meet a woman's kids on the 2nd or 3rd date, and I think that's way too soon, too.
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As a man in that age range, I'd have to say that's a bit of a strange thing to do on a first date. I also couldn't imagine having a 3 year old at my age. If you're in your 50's, you should be able to make up your own mind on what to do by now. |
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I don't introduce the women I date to my 7 year old son and I would certainly never bring him on a first date.
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