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Posted: 10/6/2007 9:06:49 PM EST
Gave my disbursing officer, who was in hack, a six pack of x-rated films so he might be more rapid in granting my funding. It worked.
___________________________________________________
("The extra cash ....,"--Hemlock
"Is for my inconvenience."--contact, (w,stte), Book: The Loo Sanction by Trevanian)
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:08:27 PM EST
I bribed a federale in Mexico so I could get into a casino when I was 16. Then when I went back I was 18 and it was the same guy at the door, didnt have to bribe him but I talked to him and he was a crooked motherfucker selling coke at the door.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:10:57 PM EST
I bribed my girlfriend with chocolate once so she would get me some pie.

-K
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:16:42 PM EST
I bribed some Mexican cops to let my girlfriend's brother go. They'd caught him toking up in his van outside of a strip joint we were in Poor guys... they thought they were going to be able to get a few hundred from us. They ought to know that the gringo tourists keep the real cash in their socks or underwear and only a few bucks in their wallets... I convinced 'em that ~$58 was all I had
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:16:54 PM EST
Never given a bribe, but I sure have taken them.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:18:38 PM EST
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:20:33 PM EST
I told the guy that was drilling a well on my property that i would give him an extra 5 bucks if he hit hot water.


Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:41:12 PM EST

Originally Posted By Special-K:
I bribed my girlfriend with chocolate once so she would get me some pie.

-K


+1
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:48:12 PM EST
[Last Edit: 10/6/2007 9:49:18 PM EST by prk]
I had to give my inflate-a-date a backrub before she'd give it up. Oh yeah, and she promised not tell her boyfriend on me.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 9:51:01 PM EST
Hmmmmm, while most of the replies seem to be directly about sex ...... I don't think I would ever sleep with my disbursing officer. The tapes, whatever implications they may have held, was enough!
_____________________________________________________
(After being asked about the centerfold her husband wants to hang up. 'Is this test to see if I am a replicant or a lesbian?"--female interviewee, (w,stte), "Blade Runner")
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:04:27 PM EST
I was in Italy with my school. I was a jr in highschool at the time. My math teacher (23) and I got seperated. I told her since I had been roudy on this trip I would buy her dinner. We ended up at this little resturant out of the way and kind of hard to find. We some how stumbled upon it. It was small, quiet, and your very sterotypical romantic resturant. Anyway we had dinner including wine. I payed with a credit card and kept the receipt.

Later, the next morning on the bus ride from Rome to Florence, I asked her how my grades were doing. She told me I needed to pass the next 2 tests to pass. (math wasnt my strong point.) I told her I sure would like to pass with atleast a strong B. She said I had better study. I then asked her what the school would think about this receipt which listed date, time, location and what was served including the wine. I told her it would probably be a bad thing if the school found out we we're "dating."

She had a great sense of humor about it and I got my "B." A year later after she was no longer my teacher we revisited the dating situation for a couple of months.

I still have the reciept in my highschool year book.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:09:39 PM EST
Income tax.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:11:58 PM EST
Hmmmm, Philippines, Thailand, where to begin
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:13:55 PM EST

Originally Posted By prk:
I had to give my inflate-a-date a backrub before she'd give it up. Oh yeah, and she promised not tell her boyfriend on me.


Wow, mine just farted and flew out the window.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:16:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By usp45c: Hmmmm, Philippines, Thailand, where to begin


Granted! I've probably made few bribes for this or that dock service with cans of coffee ...... just that since sex prevails the list, that non sexual sexual bribe invaded the mind easily.
_________________________________________
(The Hazelwood Act, a concept to grease academic skids, (wtte), local joke, post early 1990's in Texas academics)
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:17:23 PM EST

Originally Posted By Citabria7GCBC:
I was in Italy with my school. I was a jr in highschool at the time. My math teacher (23) and I got seperated. I told her since I had been roudy on this trip I would buy her dinner. We ended up at this little resturant out of the way and kind of hard to find. We some how stumbled upon it. It was small, quiet, and your very sterotypical romantic resturant. Anyway we had dinner including wine. I payed with a credit card and kept the receipt.

Later, the next morning on the bus ride from Rome to Florence, I asked her how my grades were doing. She told me I needed to pass the next 2 tests to pass. (math wasnt my strong point.) I told her I sure would like to pass with atleast a strong B. She said I had better study. I then asked her what the school would think about this receipt which listed date, time, location and what was served including the wine. I told her it would probably be a bad thing if the school found out we we're "dating."

She had a great sense of humor about it and I got my "B." A year later after she was no longer my teacher we revisited the dating situation for a couple of months.

I still have the reciept in my highschool year book.


That's blackmail, not a bribe.

You're DQed.
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:19:06 PM EST

Originally Posted By DontShootMyDog:

Originally Posted By Citabria7GCBC:
I was in Italy with my school. I was a jr in highschool at the time. My math teacher (23) and I got seperated. I told her since I had been roudy on this trip I would buy her dinner. We ended up at this little resturant out of the way and kind of hard to find. We some how stumbled upon it. It was small, quiet, and your very sterotypical romantic resturant. Anyway we had dinner including wine. I payed with a credit card and kept the receipt.

Later, the next morning on the bus ride from Rome to Florence, I asked her how my grades were doing. She told me I needed to pass the next 2 tests to pass. (math wasnt my strong point.) I told her I sure would like to pass with atleast a strong B. She said I had better study. I then asked her what the school would think about this receipt which listed date, time, location and what was served including the wine. I told her it would probably be a bad thing if the school found out we we're "dating."

She had a great sense of humor about it and I got my "B." A year later after she was no longer my teacher we revisited the dating situation for a couple of months.

I still have the reciept in my highschool year book.


That's blackmail, not a bribe.

You're DQed.


I guess I forgot the part where I was bribed by SEX to not tell on her. ooooops


FRIENDS DONT LET FRIENDS DRINK AND POST
Link Posted: 10/6/2007 10:23:03 PM EST
never bribed
but a couple times in Vegas extra large tips can upgrade your seating at events
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 4:02:32 AM EST
I bribed my daughter to stop talking for the "entire ride home" 15 minutes...she couldn't do it.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 4:33:33 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/7/2007 4:41:14 AM EST by 580DBF]
I 'might' know of a customs guy in another country who 'might' have somehow got surprised with a 'gift' from an 'unspecified donor' of JW Red and cigarettes (Marlboro Reds, of course) after 'they' met during someone's efforts to get a (legally importable) motorcycle into said country that same day. (The statute of limitations has, I'm relatively certain, expired on this one).

I have been prepared, for Mom, her apple pie, God, and my Country, to 'do whatever was necessary' to get certain things accomplished, but I always seemed to find a (more legal) alternative. (I.e., no money or transferrable goods changed hands in my presence, but I might have paid for lunch or something). I don't recall exactly. I think I'm getting senile, maybe.

Baksheesh, or whatever you want to call it, is an accepted practice, some places. "When in Rome...."
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 4:36:21 AM EST


Sometimes the topics on here amaze me.
Link Posted: 10/7/2007 7:57:05 AM EST
EVERY time I pay for an expensive dinner.....
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 7:58:56 AM EST
I bribed a Mexican border official with $20 to let me into Mexico without any visa/papers, back in '79.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:43:21 AM EST
The wait to get through the check in at the Joburg, South Africa airport was about two hours. Five dollars got an idle check in station back in operation just for me and my hunting partner. We felt special. Also I always give the gun case handler a couple of bucks to make sure my guns get loaded on the plane. I have never lost a gun case. Lots of other people have.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:47:29 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 11:48:36 AM EST by DragoMuseveni]

Originally Posted By TexasRifleman1985:
Income tax.


That's not a bribe, that's extortion
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:49:39 AM EST
Bribe? Never. Baksheesh? A way of life in the Middle East. I have greased the palms of many customs officials, travel agents, hotel staff, restaurant owners, you name it to make things go more smoothly overseas. I have also steadfastly refused to pay bribes to highway bandits, I mean highway patrol officers, in Bulgaria. That one almost landed me in jail (or worse) but eventually I was on my way without having to pay "special road tax." I just had to be a bigger asshole than they were being, which isn't that much of a stretch, really.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:52:46 AM EST
yep I dont have any good stories, but Im tagging this
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:57:44 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/8/2007 12:00:12 PM EST by cluster]
I paid a Mexican Soldier $200 to let me leave after he found a mag of 9mm in my armrest ,, < no weapon.. just the Mag ... the weapon on my person.. i was not searched > I was stopped cause I was in the mountains with a nice truck ... his words..

3 months later .. a friend of my dads had to pay a little over 10 grand to get out of jail for the same thing.. < well almost . he had the mag and the weapon.. he offered the guy $500 ... his luck he found the ONE honest guy in the entire mexican .gov >


Link Posted: 10/8/2007 11:58:13 AM EST
I paid off a Cairo Egypt police officer with an AK-47 over his shoulder to stop traffic in a VERY busy roadway so I could cross. The tab came to a whopping fifty cents American.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 12:04:15 PM EST

Originally Posted By Wingnut116ACW:
I paid off a Cairo Egypt police officer with an AK-47 over his shoulder to stop traffic in a VERY busy roadway so I could cross. The tab came to a whopping fifty cents American.
You were robbed! Shouldn't have been more than 50Ep!

He probably ate for a week on what you gave him. I used to have to baksheesh my way into the long-distance telephone office, before mobile phones and before hotels had long-distance lines. To call the US from Alexandria, you had to make an in-country long-distance call to the AT&T operator in Cairo, then use a calling card. Cash only for the in-country LD call, which wasn't a whole lot, probably 5-6 LE. The problem was that there was always a long que to get in. I quickly learned that there was an "express" line for "special customers." Very nice. After a while, I was able to arrange it so that they would make the call to Cairo, then patch it to me at the shitty hotel. That cost an extra 5 LE, but well worth it.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 1:35:47 PM EST
Bribed Panamanian police MANY times to get out of situations. Its a way of life in Central America.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 1:40:47 PM EST
height=8
Originally Posted By Mallory_Knox:
I bribed my daughter to stop talking for the "entire ride home" 15 minutes...she couldn't do it. hinking.gif


How much you bribe her with? I want to know how much it takes to get a girl to shut up...
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 1:47:01 PM EST
Never bribed anyone official, but my uncle has had to bribe federales on several trips into Mexico. One had quite a racket going. Anybody who stopped to ask him for directions, which was often since it was a tourist town, would be directed down a certain road... going the wrong way in a one-way street. He'd then pull them over, demand $20 USD or he'd give them a ticket and impound their car. Once he got the bribe, he'd go back to his post and wait for the next sucker. That was just one instance.

My grandfather didn't have to bribe anyone, but he did get the better of some crooked federales. The whole family was going to Mexico for the day and he parked on the US side of the border and walked across. Some guy sold him a jar full of opals (illegal in Mexico) and he decided to stick them in a wooden chest my grandmother had bought and send my uncle back to put it in the car so they wouldn't have to carry everything around. He did so and they spent the rest of the day shopping. Well, on the way he got stopped by some federales and the opal seller ID'd my grandfather as being the one he'd sold the opals to. Apparently, he too had a racket going- sell opals to unsuspecting tourists, then the federales bust them and give him back his opals and a cut of the fine. My uncle slipped past because they weren't looking for a teenager, but an older man with a family. They searched everybody, didn't find the opals, and reluctantly let them go. So my grandfather not only got past some crooked SOB's, but he kept the opals too.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 1:56:00 PM EST
I bribed the Federales too.

It's funny that I was at the police station getting booked and I just completely was not worried. The advantages of being 19 I guess. I would crap my pants now.

They gave me back my truck too, which was nice. I drove a brand new Dodge Ram there.

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 1:58:14 PM EST
I bribed the hostes at Outback once when there was a hour and a half wait to get us a table RFN for 20 bucks for a party of 6.

She said "right this way"
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 2:30:54 PM EST
Paid a Mexican cop $20 to let a buddy go. He was caught pissing in the lagoon at Cancun. Had to go. I had finished and was walking on.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:18:35 PM EST
I watched as a corporate officer gave a Chinese official $30,000 in negotiable funds to make a deal go through. My part would probably be called collusion.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:19:23 PM EST
Mexican cop, $20 to "take care of my traffic fine right now."
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:20:21 PM EST
5 years of repeated jobs in Mexico.

I can't count them, anymore.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:32:31 PM EST
So basically go anywhere in South America or Mexico or the Middle East, I need to carry money set aside for bribes?
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:39:04 PM EST

Originally Posted By cluster:
I paid a Mexican Soldier $200 to let me leave after he found a mag of 9mm in my armrest ,, < no weapon.. just the Mag ... the weapon on my person.. i was not searched > I was stopped cause I was in the mountains with a nice truck ... his words..

3 months later .. a friend of my dads had to pay a little over 10 grand to get out of jail for the same thing.. < well almost . he had the mag and the weapon.. he offered the guy $500 ... his luck he found the ONE honest guy in the entire mexican .gov >



HTF are you guys getting the weapons into Mexico in the first place?
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:48:52 PM EST
When I was PCS'in gout of Okinawa I was told I couldn't bring large car parts back in my household goods shipment.

The day of the move I had a room full of wheels, Recaro seats, hoods and bumpers that I spent about $700 on.

I gave Japanese movers a case of Budweiser, got my car parts back to the U.S., and sold them for about $5,000.

Step 1: Bribe
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit!

Link Posted: 10/8/2007 3:48:58 PM EST
You guy's Friggin' Crack Me Up!!
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:00:34 PM EST
Paid a doorman 100 bucks at a club to get me the security video tape. I had just finishied caving in a guys face, who had beat the crap out of my buddies sister.

Getting that tape kept me out of jail, and more than probably sued
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:28:08 PM EST

Originally Posted By hawkeye180:
So basically go anywhere in South America or Mexico or the Middle East, I need to carry money set aside for bribes?


Pretty much. It's their whole 'superior' culture, donchaknow.
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:34:00 PM EST

Originally Posted By Citabria7GCBC: Later, the next morning on the bus ride from Rome to Florence, I asked her how my grades were doing. She told me I needed to pass the next 2 tests to pass. (math wasnt my strong point.) I told her I sure would like to pass with atleast a strong B. She said I had better study. I then asked her what the school would think about this receipt which listed date, time, location and what was served including the wine. I told her it would probably be a bad thing if the school found out we we're "dating."

She had a great sense of humor about it and I got my "B." A year later after she was no longer my teacher we revisited the dating situation for a couple of months. I still have the reciept in my highschool year book.
Hot for teacher! Hot for teacher!
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 4:37:27 PM EST
DAMN, half of the bribes are with mexicans
Link Posted: 10/8/2007 5:12:41 PM EST
The first rule of Bribe Club is that you don't talk about Bribe Club....


Steve
Link Posted: 10/9/2007 9:44:36 AM EST

Originally Posted By snowmonkey:
DAMN, half of the bribes are with mexicans


Why do you think their underclass is fleeing to the US? It's more profitable when the government is protecting you to get votes instead of extorting you.
Link Posted: 10/9/2007 9:51:35 AM EST
[Last Edit: 10/9/2007 9:53:39 AM EST by cluster]

Originally Posted By Mr_Psmith:

Originally Posted By cluster:
I paid a Mexican Soldier $200 to let me leave after he found a mag of 9mm in my armrest ,, < no weapon.. just the Mag ... the weapon on my person.. i was not searched > I was stopped cause I was in the mountains with a nice truck ... his words..

3 months later .. a friend of my dads had to pay a little over 10 grand to get out of jail for the same thing.. < well almost . he had the mag and the weapon.. he offered the guy $500 ... his luck he found the ONE honest guy in the entire mexican .gov >



HTF are you guys getting the weapons into Mexico in the first place?


your expecting the rule of law to stop the weapons ?

same way to get out a ticket .. just cost a little more..

My family has property in a couple of places in Mexico .

the weapons are not to protect against thieves and the unwashed..


its to protect againt the drug runners and the troops that protect them .



oddly .. the drug runners leave you alone..< unless you make it your mission to fuck with them .. > its the troops that give you a hard time..

Link Posted: 10/9/2007 10:09:28 AM EST
I've bribed guys on duty at the barracks a few times. Ten bucks goes a long way when you are trying to get out of an underage drinking charge.
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