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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 12/15/2003 6:26:20 AM EDT
Who do you think was the best tinfoil hat type in the movies? Mel Gibson was good in Conspiracy Theory, but I think being right disqualifies him in this competition.

My vote goes to General Jack Ripper in Dr. Strangelove. This is some classic dialogue:

Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Erm, what about the planes, sir? Surely we must issue the recall code immediately.
General Jack D. Ripper: Group Captain, the planes are not gonna be recalled. My attack orders have been issued, and the orders stand.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, if you'll excuse me saying so, sir, that would be, to my way of thinking, rather... well, rather an odd way of looking at it. You see, if a Russian attack was in progress, we would certainly not be hearing civilian broadcast.
General Jack D. Ripper: Are you certain of that, Mandrake?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Oh, I'm absolutely positive about it.
General Jack D. Ripper: And what if it is true?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, I'm afraid I'm still not with you, sir, because, I mean, if a Russian attack was not in progress, then your use of Plan R - in fact, your order to the entire Wing... Oh. I would say, sir, that there were something dreadfully wrong somewhere.
General Jack D. Ripper: Now why don't you just take it easy, Group Captain, and please make me a drink of grain alcohol and rainwater, and help yourself to whatever you'd like.
*****************************************­***

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you recall what Clemenceau once said about war?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No, I don't think I do, sir, no.
General Jack D. Ripper: He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.
*****************************************­***

General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
*****************************************­***

General Jack D. Ripper: Fluoridation is the most monstrously conceived and dangerous communist plot we have ever had to face.
*****************************************­*

General Jack D. Ripper: Have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Well, I can't say I have.
*****************************************­**
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 6:41:43 AM EDT
Not movies, but Dale Gribble on King of the Hill.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 6:57:23 AM EDT
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 7:11:31 AM EDT
I have to second Gen. Jack Ripper. My all-time favorite movie. [:D]
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 7:23:27 AM EDT
WKRP... heh... Old Dr. Fever was something of a conspiracy goon too... One episode he smashes a phone and when he hears sirens, he starts running around screaming, 'It's the Phone Cops!!!'
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 7:26:36 AM EDT
Mr. Hun sir... it wasn't Nessman who said the famous turkey line... It was Arthur Carlson...
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 8:02:50 AM EDT
Hmm... I remembered it as Nessman, too, but that was XX years ago, and I can't remember what the first thing to go was.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 8:07:25 AM EDT
Best fictional tinfoil hat character? Imbroglio, hands down.
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 8:08:38 AM EDT
Just watched Dr Strangelove Fri night! A classic!
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 10:01:20 AM EDT
WKRP was some fine TV... [;)] [url]radio.about.com/library/weekly/aa112002a.htm[/url] Nessman:
“It's a helicopter, and it's coming this way. It's flying something behind it, I can't quite make it out, it's a large banner and it says, uh - Happy... Thaaaaanksss... giving! ... From ... W ... K ... R... P!! No parachutes yet. Can't be skydivers... I can't tell just yet what they are, but - Oh my God, Johnny, they're turkeys!! Johnny, can you get this? Oh, they're plunging to the earth right in front of our eyes! One just went through the windshield of a parked car! Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like sacks of wet cement! Not since the Hindenberg tragedy has there been anything like this!”
View Quote
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!!!" -- Arthur Carlson, WKRP in Cincinnati
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 10:27:30 AM EDT
... Imbroglio
Link Posted: 12/15/2003 11:13:06 AM EDT
That's right! Nessman was giving commentary on the drop!
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