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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/25/2005 12:38:57 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/25/2005 12:39:48 AM EDT by BigB1129]
www.bensons-world.co.uk/missing-page.asp?404;http://www.bensons-world.co.uk/findproduct.asp
US Police officials have today announced a crackdown on 'gun shaped' fruit, specifically bananas, from American airports.

"We find it imperative in times like this," the announcer said, "that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen. We find this especially true when it comes to filthy foreign fruits like bananas."

The idea comes after one member of the airport staff at JFK airport sued the parents of a young boy who was wielding a banana "in the way of a gun". The staff member has since been unable to return to work due to stress.

Indeed, we were privy to a demonstration of the crackdown as my camera-man, Roy, stupidly unpealed a large yellow and black-spotted Chiquita during the speech. Within seconds, Roy was manhandled to the ground and the banana was taken away to be destroyed in a controlled explosion.

Actually, Roy is still missing...but that's not important to you, the reader.

Some have criticised the move as being anti-banana.

Link Posted: 9/25/2005 12:42:22 AM EDT
Ban bananas.......its for the children
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 12:45:04 AM EDT
You gotta be fucking kidding me, right?
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 12:53:36 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Lumpy196:
You gotta be fucking kidding me, right?



Yup, but it will happen eventually
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:17:01 AM EDT
Gotta be a joke................right?


that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:21:11 AM EDT


Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:21:51 AM EDT
Gun Owner (circa 1980): "Ban a gun because of a bayonet lug? You gotta be kidding! This is America. That shit can't happen."

Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:36:37 AM EDT
Linkie no workie.

Satire?
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:41:46 AM EDT
this is why I switched to Cucumbers for my tactical carry, it is tougher, a less distinguishable color, and does not qualify as a "fruit" in the eyes of the TSA.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:43:13 AM EDT

Originally Posted By leelaw:
Linkie no workie.

Satire?



Yup, and it actually SAYS 404 on the posted link
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:49:52 AM EDT
What kind of rails fit on a banana?
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:51:34 AM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/25/2005 1:51:51 AM EDT by Combat_Jack]

Originally Posted By Maxxx:
What kind of rails fit on a banana?



With a Duct Tape adapter, the ARMS SIR fits on the banana. It free floats the stem and cools the fruit. Other fruits can be bolted on to meet mission requirements.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 7:26:44 AM EDT

Originally Posted By soowah:
Gotta be a joke................right?


that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen.

\

yea its a joke. But I can see that quote being applied to many things now and in the future.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 8:12:15 AM EDT
I prefer the small peeled carrot sticks myself. You can carry several in case the SHTF and I find they don't "print" in your pocket as cucumbers tend to do.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 9:03:03 AM EDT
I'm probably the only officer here that has actually ARRESTED a robbery suspect for using a banana.

He put it in his pocket and used it to threaten the clerk at a Der Wienerschnitzel. (hot dog stand) even TOOK IT OUT and shook it at the clerk at one point. At no time did he claim to have a gun.
The clerk gave up the money anyway.

Found the guy about three blocks over, he still had the suspect banana.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 9:13:49 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Johninaustin:
I'm probably the only officer here that has actually ARRESTED a robbery suspect for using a banana.

He put it in his pocket and used it to threaten the clerk at a Der Wienerschnitzel. (hot dog stand) even TOOK IT OUT and shook it at the clerk at one point. At no time did he claim to have a gun.
The clerk gave up the money anyway.

Found the guy about three blocks over, he still had the suspect banana.



Link Posted: 9/25/2005 9:19:39 AM EDT
I'm glad I lost all my bannanas in a tragic boating accident.

On a serious note, I heard that Chiquita has better stopping power than Del-Monte.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:27:18 AM EDT
That reminds me of that running gag skit on Turkey Television.



Two guys are always dueling. They approach the guy with weapons and choose their weapons. Then they pace off or whatever, and something always goes wrong.



One time, they approach the guy with the weapons. He has a box. He opens in it. In the box are a flintlock pistol and a banana. The guy with first choice snickers and chooses the flintlock. The guy with second choice looks like he's about to cry and picks the banana.

They stand back to back, then pace off. Then they turn... the guy with the flintlock fires and misses, and then the camera zooms in on the guy with the banana. The banana fires and blows the end of the banana off, and the other guy falls over dead.


It was hilarious at the time.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:31:00 AM EDT
Sounds like an article from the Onion. You folks sure are gullible.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:32:45 AM EDT
Didn't some police department forbid its officers from eating bananas while on duty because some stupid bitch said it was racist to black people?
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:40:14 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Didn't some police department forbid its officers from eating bananas while on duty because some stupid bitch said it was racist to black people?



That is so absurd sounding that it is probably true.
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:41:23 AM EDT
LOL!
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 11:46:34 AM EDT

Originally Posted By 50cal:

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Didn't some police department forbid its officers from eating bananas while on duty because some stupid bitch said it was racist to black people?



That is so absurd sounding that it is probably true.



It was in the news, so it's 50/50 chances it actually happened.

Thank God Monty Python had the wisdom to show us how to disarm an attacker armed with a banana!
Link Posted: 9/25/2005 1:10:13 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:

Originally Posted By 50cal:

Originally Posted By Swindle1984:
Didn't some police department forbid its officers from eating bananas while on duty because some stupid bitch said it was racist to black people?



That is so absurd sounding that it is probably true.



It was in the news, so it's 50/50 chances it actually happened.

Thank God Monty Python had the wisdom to show us how to disarm an attacker armed with a banana!



A woman complained to the Chief via letter, he told her where she could stuff it
(my Officers were working long hours and simply needed the potassium)
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