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Posted: 9/25/2005 12:38:57 AM EDT
www.bensons-world.co.uk/missing-page.asp?404;http://www.bensons-world.co.uk/findproduct.asp
US Police officials have today announced a crackdown on 'gun shaped' fruit, specifically bananas, from American airports. "We find it imperative in times like this," the announcer said, "that we crackdown on all possible crimes, real or not, before they happen. We find this especially true when it comes to filthy foreign fruits like bananas." The idea comes after one member of the airport staff at JFK airport sued the parents of a young boy who was wielding a banana "in the way of a gun". The staff member has since been unable to return to work due to stress. Indeed, we were privy to a demonstration of the crackdown as my camera-man, Roy, stupidly unpealed a large yellow and black-spotted Chiquita during the speech. Within seconds, Roy was manhandled to the ground and the banana was taken away to be destroyed in a controlled explosion. Actually, Roy is still missing...but that's not important to you, the reader. Some have criticised the move as being anti-banana. 
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Posted: 9/25/2005 12:42:22 AM EDT
[#1]
Ban bananas.......its for the children
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Posted: 9/25/2005 12:45:04 AM EDT
[#2]
You gotta be fucking kidding me, right?
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Posted: 9/25/2005 12:53:36 AM EDT
[#3]
Yup, but it will happen eventually
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:17:01 AM EDT
[#4]
Gotta be a joke................right?
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:21:11 AM EDT
[#5]
 
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:21:51 AM EDT
[#6]
Gun Owner (circa 1980): "Ban a gun because of a bayonet lug? You gotta be kidding! This is America. That shit can't happen."
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:36:37 AM EDT
[#7]
Linkie no workie.
Satire? |
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:41:46 AM EDT
[#8]
this is why I switched to Cucumbers for my tactical carry, it is tougher, a less distinguishable color, and does not qualify as a "fruit" in the eyes of the TSA.
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:43:13 AM EDT
[#9]
Yup, and it actually SAYS 404 on the posted link
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:49:52 AM EDT
[#10]
What kind of rails fit on a banana?
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:51:34 AM EDT
[#11]
With a Duct Tape adapter, the ARMS SIR fits on the banana. It free floats the stem and cools the fruit. Other fruits can be bolted on to meet mission requirements. |
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Posted: 9/25/2005 7:26:44 AM EDT
[#12]
yea its a joke. But I can see that quote being applied to many things now and in the future. |
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Posted: 9/25/2005 8:12:15 AM EDT
[#13]
I prefer the small peeled carrot sticks myself. You can carry several in case the SHTF and I find they don't "print" in your pocket as cucumbers tend to do.
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Posted: 9/25/2005 9:03:03 AM EDT
[#14]
I'm probably the only officer here that has actually ARRESTED a robbery suspect for using a banana.
He put it in his pocket and used it to threaten the clerk at a Der Wienerschnitzel. (hot dog stand) even TOOK IT OUT and shook it at the clerk at one point. At no time did he claim to have a gun. The clerk gave up the money anyway. Found the guy about three blocks over, he still had the suspect banana. 
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Posted: 9/25/2005 9:13:49 AM EDT
[#15]
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Posted: 9/25/2005 9:19:39 AM EDT
[#16]
I'm glad I lost all my bannanas in a tragic boating accident.
 On a serious note, I heard that Chiquita has better stopping power than Del-Monte.
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:27:18 AM EDT
[#17]
That reminds me of that running gag skit on Turkey Television.
Two guys are always dueling. They approach the guy with weapons and choose their weapons. Then they pace off or whatever, and something always goes wrong. One time, they approach the guy with the weapons. He has a box. He opens in it. In the box are a flintlock pistol and a banana. The guy with first choice snickers and chooses the flintlock. The guy with second choice looks like he's about to cry and picks the banana. They stand back to back, then pace off. Then they turn... the guy with the flintlock fires and misses, and then the camera zooms in on the guy with the banana. The banana fires and blows the end of the banana off, and the other guy falls over dead. It was hilarious at the time. 
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:31:00 AM EDT
[#18]
Sounds like an article from the Onion. You folks sure are gullible.
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:32:45 AM EDT
[#19]
Didn't some police department forbid its officers from eating bananas while on duty because some stupid bitch said it was racist to black people?
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:40:14 AM EDT
[#20]
That is so absurd sounding that it is probably true. |
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:41:23 AM EDT
[#21]
LOL!
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Posted: 9/25/2005 11:46:34 AM EDT
[#22]
It was in the news, so it's 50/50 chances it actually happened. Thank God Monty Python had the wisdom to show us how to disarm an attacker armed with a banana! |
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Posted: 9/25/2005 1:10:13 PM EDT
[#23]
A woman complained to the Chief via letter, he told her where she could stuff it (my Officers were working long hours and simply needed the potassium) |
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