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Posted: 9/25/2004 4:19:12 AM EST
Guys, I am mostly a lurker. I read every day, but need some suggestions on what to do.
First things first, I did not intend for any of this to happen. Did not plan on it, and would not have done it, if I had known I'd end up in a situation like this. Many details left out, but big picture remains a pretty honest assessment.

I hired a nurse to work for me, b/c the one I had I didn't treat my patients well. I had the support of my office manager and partners on this before I did this. I hired a nurse from the local hospital. I made the choice to hire her, b/c she was good with people, and got the job done. Married, with kids, happy etc. That is the bottom line. No more, no less.

When we worked out the contract, she started to work with me and things were going great. Then the hair tosses started, little comments like "it's more than that" and it made me uncomfortable. I have a recently pregnant wife, and gave no signals that I was interested in her because I was not.

This went on for some time, and I continued to work, basically not acknowledging it. My patients really like her, and I am happier b/c I don't dread seeing my old nurse. Well, about this time, I started to get these feelings I have not had in years. Again, no outward signal given, but she knows what I am feeling I assure you of that. She is now less obvious with her actions.

Bottom line is I am miserable at this time. There is no easy way for me to deal with this situation.
1) Fire here, she goes back to work in OR and I lose face big time (this is important, but not most important b/c for mo to be an effective leader I need the respect of the staff to function well)
2) Just continue to work, and deal with it. (not pleasant but most probable)
3) Talk to her directly about this.
Outcome from (1)--dick partner says I told you so, OR staff have no respect for me, really hard to get anyone to work with me if this did not last 4 months.
Outcome from (2)--feel like shit b/c I have these feelings and be miserable for the undetermined future.
Outcome from (3)--really screw up, she quits or I fire her and end up with outcome (1). Move foreward and see where this goes.

I have got to say, that I never really thought this would happen. It did not even enter my radar when I was looking to hire a new nurse. I realize that there are some issues with my marriage, I have been through residency with my wife, and many difficult times. I love her. As well, I get hit on by women (nurses mostly) regularly and it never made me feel like this. I am f***ing miserable.



Thoughts?
BT.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:38:10 AM EST
Wow. #3 is the best option. Make sure you keep everything in the open as in never get yourself alone with her. Barring that..........


Pooper, pics!
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:39:28 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:40:58 AM EST
Talk to her directly, tell her how it has to be and you wont put up with that stuff. Let her make the decision on how she wants to handle it. Good luck.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:41:37 AM EST
Do the right thing. Remember how you felt when you proposed to your wife ? She isn't the one shitting in the messkit here.
You know what is right.... drag it out into the open , expose it to the light of day and Deal With It like two adults.
Respect is earned and there is no way you will gain any by going down a road that involves dumping or messing around on a pregnant woman.

Rip
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:44:26 AM EST
You're the boss. You are married with a kid on the way.

Be a man.

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:45:24 AM EST
The bitch is hitting on you, and bothering you. File a sex harrassment lawsuit! grow a set and fire the whench!, I doubt you could ""talk"" this out SO FIRE THE BITCH! .....did I say fire the bitch!
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:45:27 AM EST
Sexual harrassment lawsuit. What part of that is hard to understand.

That's the worst case along with losing your wife and job over this. You need to have a long talk with her about this and put it to an end ASAP.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:46:26 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:49:49 AM EST
Do you know the employment laws in your state?

Ga. is a "right to work state", specifically, that means the employer or employee can terminate the job at any time, no reason offered or needed.

You are courting danger, a "woman scorned" always costs big time.

Do you have an HR person? Being a small business, I assume not. A counseling session with the employee and your HR person could diffuse this.

Best advice, bring in your wife as a 5 hour a day "asst. office mgr", she will do the dagger-eyes routine on this golddigger.

Good luck
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:53:10 AM EST
You made a contract with your wife; a promise you must honor, or have no honor. Ignore the woman, she will stop or take it too far and THEN address her behavior, but it really pisses me off when I see married people making comments like this. Loyalty and trustworthiness are the two greatest traits a person can have.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:10:42 AM EST
Your a Doc for crying out loud,you should know a little biology right ?

Stop letting the little head think for the big head

Every time somebody abandons their duty to self and family on some "grass is greener"
fling, it not only hurts that person and their family, but it also hurts society.

The person who can't control simple urges just made a less desirable world for me, my children and my grandchildren.

Raising a healthy family isn't a simple urge it is life it's self.

Keep the nurse at the job you do yours.


GM
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:19:09 AM EST
I agree with Ben Dover's and goodmedicine's advice.
Don't do it. Stand by your wife and be a man. If I had plugged every nurse who gave me the opportunity I'd be divorced and VERY unhappy now. Thank God everyday that I didn't.

I could go on longer about why you shouldn't do this but you're a smart guy and you know what I'd say already. Bottom line though is that if you ditch your pregnant wife you deserve whatever you get. And it won't be pretty.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:23:05 AM EST
If you feel a conversation might straighten things out by all means go ahead. But if the temptation gets too great or anything starts to happen you need to get rid of the nurse.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:30:29 AM EST
Let me preface this by saying that no one on this board is going to be able to solve your problems by telling you how you should feel. None of us are in your shoes.

With that being said, the only advice I can give you is to do a lot soul searching on what's most important to you and what / who you treasure most. It doesn't seem right to me to fire your nurse because YOU are having issues. Now, if you tell the nurse sraight up that you have no problems with her work but you have no interest in any type relationship and she continues the "flirtation", then she may have to seek employment elsewhere.

Good luck!

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:38:29 AM EST

In my mind, there are two really important things to think about here,

First. If you were to go ahead and poke this nurse (which is what I assume you are talking about), ask yourself if THAT is the person you want to be for the rest of your life? Do you really want to tbe the sleazy guy who pokes his nurse while his wife - who stood by him through residency - is at home pregnant? Do you really want to be the guy who destroyed his marriage and family because you wanted a piece of ass? Do you want to get up every morning for the rest of your life and see that guy in the mirror??

Second. Even if you are willing be THAT GUY - is this the girl to be it with? A nurse that wants to sleep with the doctor she works for, who she knows has a pregnant wife at home? THat's a homewrecker in the true sense of the word, and you have to ask yourself what kind of a woman that makes her. It would appear that she is either a complete slut, who'll just want to sleep with whatever guy is closest or most convenient (what a coincidence that she was suddenly attracted to you so quickly, right?) OR, she is so selfish and self-centered that she simply doesn't care that she would be destroying a family, just to get laid (or to snag a doctor for herself).

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:49:27 AM EST
I assume you are saing that you are starting to have some kind of feelings for her as well. Ignore them. You have made your choice in life, now it is time to stick with it. Everybody else here has covered the reasoning.

She does know that you are married right? If you continue to ignore it and she doesn't stop, confront her. Let her know that you aren't interested. Your options for dealing with it don't sound good.

Option one- You fire her, and evidently lose everyones respect for NOT sleeping around on your wife.

Option two- You keep yourself in the current situation, allowing your feelings to get worse, and her actions to continue.

Option three- You talk to her, most likely pissing her off, and starting a whole new set of problems.

Sounds like a rough situation, and I certainly don't envy you. Option one may be the necessary choice. If I read your post right, she is also married. She seems to have decided to disregard that and go to work on fucking up your marriage. If that is the case, you need to take steps to prevent it, one way or another.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:57:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
In my mind, there are two really important things to think about here,

First. If you were to go ahead and poke this nurse (which is what I assume you are talking about), ask yourself if THAT is the person you want to be for the rest of your life? Do you really want to tbe the sleazy guy who pokes his nurse while his wife - who stood by him through residency - is at home pregnant? Do you really want to be the guy who destroyed his marriage and family because you wanted a piece of ass? Do you want to get up every morning for the rest of your life and see that guy in the mirror??

Second. Even if you are willing be THAT GUY - is this the girl to be it with? A nurse that wants to sleep with the doctor she works for, who she knows has a pregnant wife at home? THat's a homewrecker in the true sense of the word, and you have to ask yourself what kind of a woman that makes her. It would appear that she is either a complete slut, who'll just want to sleep with whatever guy is closest or most convenient (what a coincidence that she was suddenly attracted to you so quickly, right?) OR, she is so selfish and self-centered that she simply doesn't care that she would be destroying a family, just to get laid (or to snag a doctor for herself).




I'll second that, and the other good advice above. My opinion:

It's amazing how powerful another's attraction can be, especially when you're in a vulnerable position, for whatever reason. Most times, these feelings are like a childhood infatuation, and mean nothing more than that you're unhappy. It's not unusual for people to be attracted to each other, even when one is married and expecting a child. Like they say, you're married, not dead. But what you do about it is at the heart of the matter.

That you find your self so tempted to respond IS the problem here. It's not the nurse, and the sooner you realize that, the more quickly you are going to get at the real problems.

You're going to have to figure out why that is, what's making you so interested in return the feelings, and actually "deal" with that. I'd suggest good counseling, with someone who has experience working well with MDs. Maybe you could get into a better position with your partners, work on your professional "image", and make your marriage better. It's not easy finding a good counselor, but it can be done if you keep looking. Ask around among the docs you DO trust, they might surprise you.

Good luck!

Oh, and I wouldn't talk to the nurse about "the situation", for a number of reasons. The only conversations you should have with her are up-and-up professional ones. Be scrupulous in NOT giving her or anybody else ANY reason to even THINK that you are interested. That can bite you on the ass and cause your life to be a living hell.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:58:21 AM EST
Phrases like "don't shit where you eat" and "don't dip your pen in the company inkwell" come to mind.

So she's flirting with you, ok. So you wouldn't mind giving her the sausage stuffing, ok. I think you need to have Professionalism become your watchword, and conduct yourself accordingly. Exercising a little self-restraint would go a long way in this situation. Anything else will lead to HUGE problems in the not-to-distant future.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:58:57 AM EST
There's no need to say ANYTHING to ANYONE.
Just do your job and support your wife. Your nurse'll get the drift soon enough and things will settle into a routine.

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:02:01 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:06:27 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/25/2004 6:08:53 AM EST by 1776]

Originally Posted By 3woodiii:
Talk to her directly, tell her how it has to be and you wont put up with that stuff. Let her make the decision on how she wants to handle it. Good luck.




Then she gets bitter and seeks revenge. Can her ass. rid yourself of any problems. Dont risk you job keeping her around. Believe me, your job and life are now at risk.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:07:33 AM EST

Originally Posted By ar-wrench:


You are courting danger, a "woman scorned" always costs big time.


Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:11:34 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/25/2004 6:17:05 AM EST by BlueTommy]
I appreciate the thoughts. I never, ever, never, ever thought I'd be put in the situation. I have always prided myself on doing the right thing, manning up and taking my licks. I cannot f***ing believe the way this has worked out. I have had many licks, worked hard and am an honest man. I am honest surgeon, and work my ass off to make the world a better place, and do the right thing without fail every chance I get. I try to be an example for the people who come to me for care, but I am no means perfect. As you guys know, by posting this, I knew what would be said by most, and needed to hear it.

I have been hit on before, and its no big deal. I've been openly solicited for sex many times, and it has never entered my mind to ever consider it. I cannot even believe I have considered this. This woman, is, really fantastic.

Underneath it all, I know I have some problems in my marriage. Underneath it all, I know this woman does as well. I cannot explain why she is hitting on me. Giving someone a job is no reason to do that. I don't need more sex or another piece of ass. Hell, I can hardly handle my wife, and she is my equal in every way. It goes farther than that. I can tell you, if I had met her before my wife, we would have been compatible for a relationship. Fucking nature strikes and I'll control myself, but I did not see this coming. She is a good woman. There is just a lot of chemistry, and nature is controlling that. The operating room is an intimate place. To sit for 8+ hours a day across from someone, you really get to know them very, very well.

Goodmedicine--my little head aint the one thinking, its the big one that makes me sick.
drjarhead--I agree, I can't believe I could be that guy.
TeuffelHunden1775--its more than flirtation, and she knows exactly what she is doing.

Thanks, I do feel better. Truth is I'll man up and do it the right way. I have no choice, but I developed these feelings and they still hurt.

BT.

Edited to add: This random thought.

Did I marry the wrong woman? Possible, I am far from perfect.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:16:08 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:24:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By BlueTommy:


Edited to add: This random thought.

Did I marry the wrong woman? Possible, I am far from perfect.



None of us are close to perfect.
As for the woman you married, I would say that if you make it thru the tough times and hold your marriage together(tough to do in modern American society) you will be VERY glad in the long run. Take it from someone who's been there and knows.
Experience is undoubtedly the best teacher. It is also the hardest and most painful. Better to learn from other's mistakes.

It is said that hard times make a marriage stronger. It does not. it is a tremendous strain on a marriage. Surviving it makes your marriage stronger but only later, after the fact. My wife and I have been thru plenty. I thank God everyday for giving her to me and for letting me keep her. I deserve less.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:29:25 AM EST
You got a pregnant wife and you are checking out other women?


HEY BUDDY! I got news for you!


You're fucking married! Look but don't touch. And if you can't keep you dick in your pants then you better stop looking at all women. Because the nurse is noit the issue...YOU ARE!!!!!!!!


SGatr15
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 6:40:13 AM EST
Option #3 is for idiots - Unless your really want a sexual harassment lawsuit. If you have complications here, keep em to yourself. A woman flirting in the office, while unprofessional, isn't the beginning or end of anything unless you make it an issue. Don't talk about it with anyone - especially with her. Be a man, do the right thing. Don't expect awards for doing the right thing either, it's just your job as a married man and a father to be.

If she is good at what she does and has toned it down, you need to be a MAN and remember your marriage vows, your wife, and your kid on the way. Don't be a dickhead, weak-kneed little boy and get driven by your hormones. You are going to interact with women every day of your life and some of them will have attractive qualities - If you are a man you remember where your loyalties and honor are and you do not mess with them.

Honor and integrity require dedication and vigilence.

BTW - Some junior high airsoft dumbass is guaranteed to type the pooper thing in this thread.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 7:10:01 AM EST
Goodmedicine--my little head aint the one thinking, its the big one that makes me sick.

Good to know.

Please indulge me in my story:

When I met my wife some twenty seven years ago I had just been involved previously with
a woman that I had an amazing relationship with. Between us we literally had an electrical
charge that we both felt when near each other. (Hard to explain)

She decided to give her old boy friend another shot and we broke up. In the mean time I had
met my wife and her 3 year old little boy.

Months later she showed up at my door and that same electrical charge hit me and by her look,
she also.

At that time I looked over at that three year old little boy, that didn't have a father,
sleeping on the couch and slowly closed the door with out saying a word.

I may have closed the door on my perfect soul mate that night, but me and that little boy
had become quite attached and their wasn't anyway I was going to hurt him.

After that my wife and I got married and had three kids of our own together. Now I couldn't
even imagine my life without those very unique kids of mine and the five grandkids they gave me.

In the low points of my marriage I would sometimes have regrets for ever having closed that
door that night, but in the long haul I know it was the right thing to do. God chose my mate I didn't.

I hope you make the right decision

God bless

GM

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 7:25:42 AM EST
Don't do it! If these are recient(sp) problems, it's probably the pregnancy. Lack of attention to you? Maybe? Do some realy serious soul serching before doing anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Think Do I love her? Do I want to be that person?

Take the kids to the babysitters and spend some one on one time with your wife.

I never realized how much I loved my Ex-wife, untill the divoce was final. But then again it was for the best. She was and is manipulative and controling, could dono wrong and I on the other hand was always wrong.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 7:37:01 AM EST

The operating room is an intimate place. To sit for 8+ hours a day across from someone, you really get to know them very, very well.



You do, but you are also utilizing the 'intimate place' as a means to break the tension of the surgery by talking about the small stuff. Might not be what you are thinking--I have (as a resident now) worked with some serious flirts, that used flirtation as their release from the tensions of work. Make sure you are not reading more into what is happening than there really is (you wouldn't be the first guy to misread flirtation for interest).

Another possiblity is to hire another nurse (part time) and work more and more with her (the first one will eventually get the message).

As you are the "boss"--and the nurse is the "subordinant", a sexual harrassment suit would likely go nowhere--however, the moment you touch her, you are seriously F**Ked, she could sue you in a heartbeat and win. What would happen to your career? Do you really think you could find ANYONE who would be willing to Circulate/Scrub with you if she claimed harrassment? How would you like it if your patients got canceled because they went off NPO because some nurse 'accidentally' brought them a food tray? Or, someone screwed up your preference cards and your surgeries suddenly took twice as long, or your cases never got boarded at all (gee, someone forgot to call it in? Sorry). The moment you touch her, do you really think your wife would take you back? Even if she did, would your relationship be the same? How would you like to be the Father of her child, but not really her Husband any longer?

Think long and hard before you act on anything. Keep the workplace professional and as low tension as you possibly can. Ignore any flirtations, and keep conversation minimal. Play some good CD's during surgery (I worked with an attending that brought about 50 in a CD keeper to each case, and let someone in the room pick the music for the case)--if necessary, buy a boombox with a CD changer to have in surgery for long cases. If the nurse in question is your scrub, then get a male (or female with appropriate interests) CRNA to do the case and talk shooting, guns, golf, etc.

AFARR
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 7:57:44 AM EST
Option #4 - Bring your wife to work, and any office event.
Show here you are married; happily.
Everytime she thinks of you, shewill think of your wife.
If she is normal, she'll drop it.
If not, she'll become crazy and you'll not feel bad firing her at all.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 8:17:13 AM EST
Guys, thanks, really. I used to be the guy who pointed the finger....."can you believe s/he did that?"
goodmedicine--strong story.
scrum...the point is I interact with attractive women every day. I see them at every level from surgical assistant to nurse to physician. I truly feel guilty, but the chemistry is strong between us.
No doubt, I will man up and deal with it. Part of the reason for posting was to convey that I thought I was rock solid with my values. Most of the time, I am a black and white. It is either right or wrong. (I know the world is not this way, but it helps me deal with issues) I preach about it all the time. But now I have been shaken to my core and I don't truly understand why. As goodmedicine put it, there is something electrical between us. I don't even think it was this strong with my wife.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 8:32:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By drjarhead:
There's no need to say ANYTHING to ANYONE.
Just do your job and support your wife. Your nurse'll get the drift soon enough and things will settle into a routine.




a big ditto, here...
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 11:14:02 AM EST
Sadly, I predict this situation ends badly... I wish you the best of luck.

Regards,
Gary
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 2:45:31 PM EST
Holy Cats!

Okay do a search on my topics, look at the one where it is titled woman ruined my life. hell read all of my women topics I'm sure they are arch9ived someplace.

Get the fuck out of Dodge, meaning cut this off right here and now and I mean NOW. If I could tell you how damaging this will become to you, your personal life, proffessional life, family, friends, everything you would wake right up and I can't make you go through what I am going through right now.

Feelings cause clouded judgement. Stay sharp, the hardest choice and the one that you feel is right is the correct one, the easy and tempting one although may feel better now, in the long run will fucking suck the life out of you. You are a conquest to be won by this woman I guarantee and when she has succeeded in winning you will be tossed aside and like a conqueror of ancient times she will move on to the next and you will be left to pick up what pieces remain of you and your life. This is what I am doing now.

A little update for you because I am assuming you have read what I asked you to read.

The girl that did what she did, has moved on.. New guy etc. Had one of her friends offer me a shot less than a week out of the gate. But I know this... I am recovering mentally. It is slow but i am. had I not done what I did and used my brain instead of my emotions, I would not be so fucked up right now. Don't make that mistake. If you are tempted and married than you might want to rethink your marriage but do not get another involved at fucking all. The hole you will fall into is deep and when you hit the bottom it will take a very long time to dig back out and when youy do your life will be irrevocably changed and it may be for the worse, like me.

But know that if you do "move" on her you will feel every miserable emotion known to the human mind. Why? Because this is what happens. For me it went like this.

One I was in a miserable marriage that i had a large part in ruining. two, This girl and I had like you feel, a bit more than what you had even expected, "blindsided". So like an idiot I figured, "oh... well... the marriage is shot let her into your heart she and you have to have met for some reason like this and these feelings are real." Then I seperated and the games began. She started with the whole I cannot commit etc, Then her illness. I had blinders on and didn't listen to my correct brain. Plowed through and ended up getting dumped 6 weeks ago. After we had spenmt the best 4 nights together and talked about love, life, family, marriage, eternty, all of that. And this conversation was AFTER the sex part.. Not before or during and these talks were always during nonsexual times so, like I said Iit had to be real, I figured. Guess what. Two days later she ended it with some sappy bullshit line about how she can't commit etc. Three weeks later she started seeing someone else, but to her rationale, shes not getting married tomorrow it's just dating.

Bottom line... Tough situation calls for a tough attitude. Tell her like it is. To back off. You take a chill. Whack off a bit, nail your wife silly, gop out with friends to a game. But DO NOT ENTERTAIN THIS THOUGHT OF SCREWING UP YOUR LIFE LIKE I DID FOR ONE MORE LOUSY FUCKING NANOSECOND>

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 3:08:59 PM EST

Originally Posted By ar-wrench:

You are courting danger, a "woman scorned" always costs big time.




Link Posted: 9/25/2004 3:59:03 PM EST
I don't have any advice that you haven't already read in this thread .

I never cheated on my wife when I was married , but there were a few occasions where
the opportunity was right in front of me ( Literally ) and I didn't act on it because I had made that commitment to my wife and I don't regret it . I'd also like to add that infidelity had nothing to do with the reason we chose to go our separate ways .

BUT ....................

Since the divorce . I’ve found that I would rather not make that commitment to another Woman . Because I now know myself better then I did when I was younger and I understand that what I crave the most is the excitement of a new relationship , and I want to experience that as much as I can , for as long as I can .

William Shakespeare wrote it a Long time ago :

To Thine own self be true .
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:38:27 PM EST

Originally Posted By thebeekeeper1:
My thought is that you are a married man and you owe it to your pregnant wife to not allow ANY situation to exist which jeopardizes your marriage. Doubly so with a child coming. This kind of thing is normal--it's how you choose to deal with it that determines your future. A man of character would get rid of the nurse, IMO. She is readily employable (your words) so it's not like you are taking away her livlihood. "It just didn't work out" is all you need to tell anyone--including, and maybe especially--your wife. Best wishes--I hope you do the right thing. hr


Good advice from thebeekeeper1. Sounds like "a man of character" himself.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:51:23 PM EST
Nothing is worth risking your marriage. Office politics, image be damned. You must remove yourself from the situation one way or the other--not emotionally, but physically. If not, sooner or later, what is now unimaginable will happen. I can relate to the flirtations that occur throughout residency and in the hospital. You recognize yourself that this is different, so it must be dealt with differently. Do it, and you won't regret it in the long run. Don't do it, and your family will pay the price. Hang in there, bro.
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:53:43 PM EST

what I crave the most is the excitement of a new relationship


and THAT girls and boys, is THE reason people cheat.........................you've got to try and keep that in your current relationship
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 4:55:52 PM EST
dont you think you should be talking to youre wife about this??
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:00:53 PM EST

Originally Posted By scrum:
Option #3 is for idiots - Unless your really want a sexual harassment lawsuit. If you have complications here, keep em to yourself. A woman flirting in the office, while unprofessional, isn't the beginning or end of anything unless you make it an issue. Don't talk about it with anyone - especially with her. Be a man, do the right thing. Don't expect awards for doing the right thing either, it's just your job as a married man and a father to be.




She won't be the first woman who ruined someones life.

It's a trap!

Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:01:35 PM EST
[Last Edit: 9/25/2004 5:03:25 PM EST by chrome1]

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

what I crave the most is the excitement of a new relationship


and THAT girls and boys, is THE reason people cheat.........................you've got to try and keep that in your current relationship



Well , you took my quote slightly out of context ( A Mooreism )

Anyway , Its the reason some people cheat . I didn't .... but the thought was there none the less . I think it happens to everyone at one time or another .... Human Nature .

And that Boy's and Girls is why I'm single and staying that way
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:04:21 PM EST

Originally Posted By chrome1:

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

what I crave the most is the excitement of a new relationship


and THAT girls and boys, is THE reason people cheat.........................you've got to try and keep that in your current relationship



Well , you took my quote slightly out of context ( A Mooreism )

Anyway , Its the reason some people cheat . I didn't .... but the thought was there none the less . I think it happens to everyone at one time or another .... Human Nature .

And that Boy's and Girls is why I'm single and staying that way



no, i stand by my thoughts on the matter, but they were simply derived from your words, not your actions!!!
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:05:41 PM EST

Originally Posted By repub18:
dont you think you should be talking to youre wife about this??



wheres the fucking akbar pic when you need it????

this is awful fucking advice. ignorance is bliss. he needs to solve this by himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:09:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

Originally Posted By repub18:
dont you think you should be talking to youre wife about this??



wheres the fucking akbar pic when you need it????

this is awful fucking advice. ignorance is bliss. he needs to solve this by himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




wouldnt you want to know if a man was hitting on your wife at work??
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:16:54 PM EST

Originally Posted By repub18:

Originally Posted By TexRdnec:

Originally Posted By repub18:
dont you think you should be talking to youre wife about this??



wheres the fucking akbar pic when you need it????

this is awful fucking advice. ignorance is bliss. he needs to solve this by himself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




wouldnt you want to know if a man was hitting on your wife at work??



damn sure don't if she handles it and nothing becomes of it, would only piss me off and give me doubts.........................
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:27:12 PM EST
Actually, I think that is great advice - tell your wife about this. I would if I was in this situation - in fact, I did years ago. I showed my wife I trust her, care for her, and would always be honest with her. This also cuts off the potential problem of this nurse claiming to your wife that you had sex with her.

I sure am glad I've grown into being ugly and unattractive to the opposite sex - makes things like this never happen to me - god knows there are enough hot women in my radschool that I'd have a hard time saying no to
Link Posted: 9/25/2004 5:27:20 PM EST
I kinda know what ya are going through. But realise people flirt and have small talk out of breaking up the long days.....or nights. I two work with some very nice and excitable women. The flirts are there and I two flirt once in a while back .But I stop it right there. I have never cheated on my wife. It's you who are the main problem , if ya think ya need to get rid of your nurse. Thats not a flame . You could have nurse Ball breaker in there with her man size hands and gotee . The feeling will dye down...... Been there done that...... WarDawg
Link Posted: 9/26/2004 4:31:41 AM EST
Guys,
I appreciate the advice. I knew what some would say when I posted this. I left out some serious details, both of my life at home and her actions at the office. She was a lot more open than casual flirting, and I'll leave it at that. I have known this nurse since I came to town. I have operated on someone close to her. She is, by all means, a wonderful person. For 4 years in the OR I have never known her to be a flirt. Unless I am a seriously bad judge of character(possible), I don't think this is some big plan....it's just nature. Both she and I were caught flatfooted by this type of connection. I will say for the last time, I don't understand why, I felt this way, this time, b/c in the past or with previous flirts it was something I never ever gave a second thought.
You all have to know, that for 3 months, I never gave any sign I was interested. I have not yet.
If I could have seen this coming, I'd have never hired her.

I have choosen to say nothing and tell no person(other than you guys) of this. I think her actions towards me were obvious to others in the office though. I'm sure some of the women there know whats been going on.

BT.
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