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Posted: 11/2/2004 8:20:27 PM EST
www.thedailydiem.org/1294x953;23991x883/1294x953story.html.asp/story.html



11/03/2004, 1:04 AM EST
James Bettendorf, Daily Diem staff writer

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS:

After the devastating blow of Ohio being handed to incumbent President George W. Bush, bringing the Texas politician's total estimated electoral vote count to 266, just four short of a win, Senator John F. Kerry appeared outside one of his homes in Boston.

"What the fuck is this! Has this entire fucking country gone batshit loco? I've pulled votes out of my ass that were better than this," the Senator from Massachusetts and Presidential hopeful said. He went on to say, "I swear to god, I will kill you all! I will fucking crush you! This country is mine, and no two-bit cowboy from Crawford is going to take it from me!"

Senator Kerry then pulled out an explosive device and attempted to detonate it, whereupon an alert member of the crowd threw him a football. The Senator failed to catch it, providing a hilarious photo-op, and became momentarily distracted, allowing police time to wrestle him to the ground and arrest him for felony assault and twelve counts of being a total fag in public. His wife declined to pay bail, stating that she "never really liked the dipshit anyway."

It is unknown whether or not this can legally be counted as a concession on the part of either candidate. More on this as it develops.

Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:22:01 PM EST
had me untill the part about being arrested... < rules dont apply to him :) >



good one
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:25:11 PM EST

Originally Posted By MagKnightX:
www.thedailydiem.org/1294x953;23991x883/1294x953story.html.asp/story.html


11/03/2004, 1:04 AM EST
John F. Kerry appeared outside one of his homes in Boston.




Yeah, he can really relate to the little guy!
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:26:25 PM EST




Alcohol makes this threadf funnier than it isl

- BG
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:26:57 PM EST
Isn't it going to be great hearing anecdotes about that assbag back at the boarding gate for the Boston-DC shuttle shouting "Do you know who I am?"
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:35:22 PM EST
post it on D irty U nderware
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:36:49 PM EST

Originally Posted By MagKnightX:
www.thedailydiem.org/1294x953;23991x883/1294x953story.html.asp/story.html



11/03/2004, 1:04 AM EST
James Bettendorf, Daily Diem staff writer

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS:

After the devastating blow of Ohio being handed to incumbent President George W. Bush, bringing the Texas politician's total estimated electoral vote count to 266, just four short of a win, Senator John F. Kerry appeared outside one of his homes in Boston.

"What the fuck is this! Has this entire fucking country gone batshit loco? I've pulled votes out of my ass that were better than this," the Senator from Massachusetts and Presidential hopeful said. He went on to say, "I swear to god, I will kill you all! I will fucking crush you! This country is mine, and no two-bit cowboy from Crawford is going to take it from me!"

Senator Kerry then pulled out an explosive device and attempted to detonate it, whereupon an alert member of the crowd threw him a football. The Senator failed to catch it, providing a hilarious photo-op, and became momentarily distracted, allowing police time to wrestle him to the ground and arrest him for felony assault and twelve counts of being a total fag in public. His wife declined to pay bail, stating that she "never really liked the dipshit anyway."

It is unknown whether or not this can legally be counted as a concession on the part of either candidate. More on this as it develops.




Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:37:18 PM EST
KERRY: YOUR HEAD A SPLODE!
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:43:12 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:43:35 PM EST
www.thedailydiem.org/1323x031;23993x765/1323x031story.html.asp/story.html



11/03/2004, 1:29 AM EST
James Bettendorf, Daily Diem staff writer

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS:

Just minutes after his arrest and incarceration, the police station where Senator John F. Kerry was being held exploded in an unholy red light, followed by a voice that witnesses describe as "hellish" and "blood-curdling" screeching in a blasphemous and foul toungue, punctuated with cries of "we will destroy the Republicans" and "kill the oil-creatures." This was followed by the walls of the Boston police station vaporizing, leaving only a flame of pure evil and a silhouette that looked vaguely like the Senator, but with pointed ear and cloven hoof.

This may or may not be related to the Senator's press conference, held in July, stating that he is the Antichrist, the bastard son of Satan the Adversary.


Senator Kerry at his July press conference

The Senator and Presidential challenger then appeared to leap into the sky and fly towards Washington, DC, the nation's capital and the current location of President and incumbent challenger George W. Bush. More on this story as it develops.


Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:45:46 PM EST


That was great!
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:47:14 PM EST

Originally Posted By yugosksfan:


That was great!


+1
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 8:55:22 PM EST
twelve counts of being a total fag in public. OMG!
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 10:11:51 PM EST
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 10:15:07 PM EST

Originally Posted By MagKnightX:
www.thedailydiem.org/1294x953;23991x883/1294x953story.html.asp/story.html



11/03/2004, 1:04 AM EST
James Bettendorf, Daily Diem staff writer

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS:

After the devastating blow of Ohio being handed to incumbent President George W. Bush, bringing the Texas politician's total estimated electoral vote count to 266, just four short of a win, Senator John F. Kerry appeared outside one of his homes in Boston.

"What the fuck is this! Has this entire fucking country gone batshit loco? I've pulled votes out of my ass that were better than this," the Senator from Massachusetts and Presidential hopeful said. He went on to say, "I swear to god, I will kill you all! I will fucking crush you! This country is mine, and no two-bit cowboy from Crawford is going to take it from me!"

Senator Kerry then pulled out an explosive device and attempted to detonate it, whereupon an alert member of the crowd threw him a football. The Senator failed to catch it, providing a hilarious photo-op, and became momentarily distracted, allowing police time to wrestle him to the ground and arrest him for felony assault and twelve counts of being a total fag in public. His wife declined to pay bail, stating that she "never really liked the dipshit anyway."

It is unknown whether or not this can legally be counted as a concession on the part of either candidate. More on this as it develops.




hmm, must be a bad link (hopefully not a bad joke at this timing) Link isn't working.
Link Posted: 11/2/2004 10:18:09 PM EST

Originally Posted By FortyFiveAutomatic:
KERRY: YOUR HEAD A SPLODE!




Link Posted: 11/3/2004 9:53:05 AM EST

Originally Posted By MrsSynister1:
hmm, must be a bad link (hopefully not a bad joke at this timing) Link isn't working.



The article mentions "twelve counts of being a total fag in public" and you're not sure it's a joke?
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