Kerry Requests Silver Star After Piloting Swift Boat Through New Orleans
WASHINGTON, DC --- John Kerry contacted the Pentagon today to request a
Silver Star for a recent swift boat mission he ran through the streets of
New Orleans. While the Pentagon claims the mission was unauthorized, Kerry
claims it was a secret mission approved at the highest levels of the
"I clearly remember listening to the radio and hearing President Bush deny
that swift boats were in New Orleans," said Kerry. "And there I was on a
swift boat in New Orleans. Dodging bullets. Scanning the shore for enemy
fire and mortar attack. The band aid on my hand covers a wound I received
while moving too quickly on deck for a photo op and scraping against the
Sean Penn tried to join Kerry on his own swift boat, but it sank before
leaving dock. Penn forgot to put the plug in the bottom of the boat and
refused to stuff his Communist flag in the hole to prevent flooding...
You know, the only reason this is funny is because it is completely true!