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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 9/22/2005 6:24:14 PM EDT
Let me share a service call story with you that happened to me today.

Working on a built in BBQ that was down. So I open the cabinet underneath to get to the gas line and WHO do I bump into?

THIS BITCH!



OH!! And she in NOT alone. She is with "Incubating Children"




I must have REALLY freaked bad because when the flat side of my ball peen hammer hit her fucking body, it splattered about 2" in every direction!

...So did the egg sacs!

Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:31:51 PM EDT
Don't guess your gonna mount that one then huh
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:33:13 PM EDT
Sissy.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:34:35 PM EDT
Whoa, you charged extra....right?
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:34:40 PM EDT
Do what I do, get a can of WD40 and a lighter, burn 'em slowly to death. Then when they're lying on the ground twitching, spray the everloving shit out of them with more flammable liquid, then drop a match on 'em.

Enjoy the funneral pyre.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:35:05 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Max_Power:
Sissy.



YES! YES I AM!!!!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:35:54 PM EDT
IBTC

In before the Title Change
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:36:01 PM EDT
I absolutely HATE black widows. Glad you wasted it. That's one less for me to worry about.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:36:15 PM EDT
Never mind. I thought you were calling me.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:36:30 PM EDT

Originally Posted By roboman:
Do what I do, get a can of WD40 and a lighter, burn 'em slowly to death. Then when they're lying on the ground twitching, spray the everloving shit out of them with more flammable liquid, then drop a match on 'em.

Enjoy the funneral pyre.



I usually use my Acytlene torch for that job. However it was a wooden deck... customer wouldnt have paid me if I torched the deck.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:36:53 PM EDT
.308 blank to the torso.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:37:44 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Makarov_Mami:
Never mind. I thought you were calling me.





I must have missed something
Your not in heat are you
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:37:49 PM EDT

Originally Posted By MudFlapper:
Whoa, you charged extra....right?

well yes and no... but I DID tell him that he needs to ask his exterminator for a refund.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:39:58 PM EDT

Originally Posted By purplecheese:
IBTC

In before the Title Change



Why?


bitch ( P ) Pronunciation Key (bch)
n.
A female canine animal, especially a dog.

Slang. A complaint.
Slang. Something very unpleasant or difficult.

Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:40:52 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:41:38 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:42:19 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 9/22/2005 6:43:35 PM EDT by Scott574]

Originally Posted By DrFrige:

Originally Posted By roboman:
Do what I do, get a can of WD40 and a lighter, burn 'em slowly to death. Then when they're lying on the ground twitching, spray the everloving shit out of them with more flammable liquid, then drop a match on 'em.

Enjoy the funneral pyre.



I usually use my Acytlene torch for that job. However it was a wooden deck... customer wouldnt have paid me if I torched the deck.




Hmmmmmm...........spiders + acytlene torch + bbq grill gas line= DrFriDge. Yeah, I'd pay to see a video clip of that!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:42:29 PM EDT

Originally Posted By zipper:

Originally Posted By Makarov_Mami:
Never mind. I thought you were calling me.





I must have missed something
Your not in heat are you


LOL I'll let CnL answer that one!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:43:01 PM EDT
Eat It
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:45:27 PM EDT
I thought this was gonna be about Cindy Sheehan. Or Hitlary. Or Fonda.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:46:07 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Death to all black widows.

That said, my crazy cousin has one as a pet. Keeps feeding it crickets, and she's about the size of a damn egg now.

Slowly backing away....

What kind of egg?
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:48:09 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 10mmFan:
I thought this was gonna be about Cindy Sheehan. Or Hitlary. Or Fonda.



It was.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:48:28 PM EDT
One day at work, one of my coworkers came over to me with a black widow stuck to a piece of masking tape.

He asked me, "Is this a black widow?"

I said, "Sure, where did you find it?"

He replied, "Crawling up my leg."

He had used the tape to get the spider off his leg.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:51:04 PM EDT
You should have stuck it & eggs and a jar and sold it on Ebay. Probably made some decent ammo money.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 6:52:28 PM EDT

Originally Posted By CS223:
You should have stuck it & eggs and a jar and sold it on Ebay. Probably made some decent ammo money.



Oh NOW he tells me!!!


... NOoooooooooo thanks!!!
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:35:16 PM EDT
I just had to run a cable under my house, and them bitches were all over the place. Got the hell out of there, and went to Home Depot and bought a dozen bug bombs (hand grenades) and went to work on them bithes. Next day, nothin, fucking no mans land.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:41:34 PM EDT
I walked into a mag at work one day to kit some propellant.

I went to the back to open the far door for some airflow, and felt like I had walked through some spider web. When the door opened and the light hit the wall of spiderweb covered in baby black widows I damn near shit myself.

I had the heebie jeebies for the rest of the shift. Plus I was covered in baby black widows. The little ones don't bite, but at least you can see the big ones...
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 7:43:11 PM EDT
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 8:10:52 PM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Death to all black widows.

That said, my crazy cousin has one as a pet. Keeps feeding it crickets, and she's about the size of a damn egg now.



Why in the hell..............................
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 10:20:10 PM EDT

That said, my crazy cousin has one as a pet. Keeps feeding it crickets, and she's about the size of a damn egg now.


'Authorities are issuing a general state of emergency tonight for Anytown, USA. They are on the look out for a 75 pound Black Widow that apparently turned on its former owner, and is now prowling downtown Anytown, preying on small pets and children...'


gawd, i hate spiders. I just hate having to get out in the corners of the shed or garage, cause I know there are spiders there, and probably Widows and recluses too. Ew....recluses. *Squeals like little girls*

I'll admit though, even as a severe arachnophobic...BW are pretty wicked looking.
Link Posted: 9/22/2005 10:21:14 PM EDT
Yeah, but why ME?
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 3:02:26 AM EDT

Originally Posted By DrFrige:
Yeah, but why ME?



It's all thebeekeeper1's fault.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 3:06:43 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Makarov_Mami:
Never mind. I thought you were calling me.



Argh! She beat me to it!

IBTSL

In before the spider lovers "so what she COULDA bit YOU...she's there to bite all the other insects!"

Link Posted: 9/23/2005 3:26:42 AM EDT
I can't believe someone hasn't already said:

Nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:34:50 AM EDT
NUKE HER FROM ORBIT!!! That's the ONLY way to be sure!!!
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 4:39:11 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Makarov_Mami:
Never mind. I thought you were calling me.



Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:19:01 AM EDT
Guess I'd rather have ants up my peepee than one of those!
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 5:42:43 AM EDT
WIMP! I've killed two of those damn things in my backyard.

A Brown Recluse is what should scare you.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 7:49:07 AM EDT
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 7:53:58 AM EDT

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:

Originally Posted By gmtmaster:

Originally Posted By SP1Grrl:
Death to all black widows.

That said, my crazy cousin has one as a pet. Keeps feeding it crickets, and she's about the size of a damn egg now.



Why in the hell..............................



I have no idea...She's in a big planter box on the front porch. He walked by one day and noticed there was a small BW in there. For some reason she can't get out of it, so every day he catches a cricket and throws it in there. She's huge, people. Huge. He's out of his fricking mind.



::sigh::
Again I feel the need to state the rule: If it does not contribute to the home, as in helping to pay the bills (hubby) protecting it (my pup) or counts as a tax deduction (my kidlings) then it must die.

Learn the rule...adopt the rule...live the rule.
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 8:01:06 AM EDT

Originally Posted By Duffy:
Guess I'd rather have ants up my peepee than one of those!



OH That just aint right!!!
Link Posted: 9/23/2005 8:02:39 AM EDT
You should have Drawn down
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