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Durkin Tactical Franklin Armory
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Site Notices
Posted: 5/19/2002 8:51:35 PM EDT
A Bill To Regulate The Hunting And Harvesting Of Attorneys:

372.01 -Any person with a valid rodent or rattle snake hunting license may also hunt
and harvest attorneys for recreational and
sporting (non-commercial) purposes.

372.02 -Taking of attorneys with traps or dead falls is permitted. The use of currency
as bait is, however, prohibited.

372.03 -The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is prohibited, unless such
vehicle is an ambulance being driven in

If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle, the dead attorney should be
removed to the roadside, and the vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.

372.04 -It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a power boat,
helicopter or aircraft.

372.05 -It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH", "AMBULANCE", or "FREE
SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.

372.06 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 meters of BMW, Mercedes, or
Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.

372.07 -It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 meters of courtrooms, law libraries,
health clubs, country clubs or

372.08 -If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary to have a license to
hunt, trap or possess the same.

372.09 -It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a reporter, accident victim,
physician, chiropractor, or tax
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys.

372.10 -Bag Limits Per Day:

Yellow-bellied Sidewinders: 2

Two-faced Tort-feasors: 1

Back-stabbing Divorce Litigators: 3

Horn-rimmed Cut-throats: 2

Minutiae-advocating Chickens: 4

Honest Attorneys: 0
(Protected, Endangered species.)

Link Posted: 5/19/2002 9:04:58 PM EDT
Why so many restrictions?

Do you need a stamp for federal attorneys?

Rimfire ok?

Knife or spear acceptable?

How many can you have in your freezer at any given time?

Get one that wins all his cases and you've got a trophy? [wallhanger]
Link Posted: 5/19/2002 9:13:54 PM EDT
Can you keep one on your property confined?
Are you still allowed to harvest and sell the skins?
Are you required to observe a horn length?
Is there a size requirement for the body? (The smaller ones are better eating).
Are you allowed to tie them to your hood?
Link Posted: 5/19/2002 9:16:13 PM EDT
We've been over this before.  It's not hunting.  When you kill rats, praire dogs, or other vermin, it's just shooting.  Why would you call this hunting?z

Link Posted: 5/19/2002 9:32:48 PM EDT
Maybe we should just "cull" that group once in a while.

For vermin, the season is usually year round.
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 5:52:24 AM EDT
We've been over this before. It's not hunting. When you kill rats, praire dogs, or other vermin, it's just shooting. Why would you call this hunting?z
View Quote

Hey z, I think that the proper euphemism is "harvesting."


Link Posted: 5/20/2002 1:28:03 PM EDT
It would be fine with me if "attorney" season overlapped with used "car salesman" season and "real estate agent" season. What a dream hunt that would be. [:D] Yeah baby!
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 1:34:50 PM EDT
You Know, I'm very hurt by this.
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 1:40:15 PM EDT
After shooting prairie dogs or woodchucks (rodents) into pieces, I usually leave them lie and let the coyotes eat them. [sniper]
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 1:43:08 PM EDT
I'm so pizzed about this thread that I am advancing the date for eviction on several elderly folks and single parent families over the next several weeks.

If they complain, I'll give them your Board names and tell them where they can look you up for lodging.

BTW, one of you guy's spouses came in to see me the other day, so I know all about your, er, 'problem'!

Don't think that this didn't get a hugh laugh over at the Bar Association luncheon the other day!

Eric The(BTW,I'mSendingYouTheBill)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 1:52:45 PM EDT
Now that we've taken up your precious time reading this thread your gonna send us all a bill? [;)] Talk to my attorney. [:D]
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 2:35:55 PM EDT
Post from rainman -
Talk to my attorney.
View Quote

And your attorney is my cousin, who will tell you to promptly pay all of your legal bills just as he's preparing his own for that piece of legal advice!

Eric The(WeGetYouComingAndGoing)Hun[>]:)]
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 2:38:15 PM EDT
I went to a treating physician's ("treater's") dep today, the patient is all messed up bad.
The office girl is showing me in and going off about how wonderful it is I am getting this patient money because he is a great salt of the earth guy, and his family is the best, and they really really need the money to survive....

I couldn't let it go on, so I broke the news that I was defense side, and trying hard to give him nothing or as little as possible.

Then I brought her comments into the dep to show the medical PC was biased in his favor and their records indicating cause were therefore tainted against the deep pocket.

I can hardly wait for the next settlement discussion.
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 7:35:21 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 7:49:32 PM EDT
I Am a physician. It is not a disguise. Can I conceal a weapon under my lab coat?

Link Posted: 5/20/2002 7:51:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 5/20/2002 7:58:32 PM EDT
I Am a physician. It is not a disguise. Can I conceal a weapon under my lab coat?

View Quote

I think we are YOUR predator [:D]
View Quote

You guys feed on everyone but yourselves!

Link Posted: 5/20/2002 8:08:49 PM EDT
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