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Durkin Tactical Franklin Armory
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Posted: 3/30/2001 8:49:42 AM EDT
How in the hell do you flip a pancake?

Last night, I was all bombed, and decided to make pancakes.
So I greased the pan (oil), and mixed the batter.
I poured the batter in the pan, and waited for the bottom to get done. I grabbed the spatula and tried to flip it, but the damn thing started breaking up like the space staion MIR hitting the atmosphere.
So I tried using my fingers to turn it over, but they just got burned to hell.
I figured that I could do what I see the chefs on TV do, and use the pan to flip it.
So I grabbed the handle, and proceeded to launch pancake fragments all over my new clean kitchen. Microwave, oven, fridge, ceiling, walls... Pancake goobers everywhere.
I cleaned the god-forsaken mess up (My kitchen is now permanantly painted the color of "Pancake"), and set the mess back doen on the stove; but I forgot to turn it off, so the smoke detector started hollering, and I went in the kitchen, only to find 3 foot high flames shooting out of the damn pan.

So I hucked it in the front yard, where it sits to this very minute.

Please dear god in heaven, please someone tell me HOW TO FLIP A F**KING PANCAKE!!?!?!?!?!


(Eduhted bekuz eye kant spel)
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:04:20 AM EDT
one word:


(the spray, not a girl)
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:06:33 AM EDT

Don't look at the bottom.  Wait for bubbles to appear on the top.  When most of them have broken the thing should flip without a problem.

If the mix is made correctly of course.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:07:04 AM EDT
ok ... when ya pour ya pancake mix in da pan and it's a fryin' away ... go get yer weldin' torch from the back porch ... fire it up and shoot the fire on the side of the pancake thats stickin' up ( the side yer not cookin' ) for a few minutes ... until almost brown ... then roll the torch back on the porch and go flip yer pancake in the pan like you've been makein' um fer years [BD]

--from the upcoming novel " Pancakes Fer Dummies " by Martha McStewart
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:08:17 AM EDT
One word: Stop frigging cooking while drunk!!!

It is much eaiser to pick up Taco Bell (unlees to drunk to drive)
Trust me, I burn water when I cook it....
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:25:24 AM EDT
I have been cooking and watching cooking shows for over the last 15 years from Justin Wilson, Galloping Gourmet, Julia Child, Iron Chef, and The 2 Fat Ladies so I would like to think I have above average experience in the culinary arts. My recommendation to McUzi is: STAY AWAY FROM WOMENZ AND COOKING!!! The world is in enough of a mess as it is without having some miscreant soiling the innocence of the female population and ruining the country's food supply.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 9:34:47 AM EDT
All it takes is a quarter.
1.Remove coin from pocket.
2.Flip coin in air.
3.Heads you go to IHOP.
4.Tails you go to Denny's.
(I thought you were a Player? Players don't cooks no stinkin pancakes!)
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 10:09:26 AM EDT
Everytime McU posts something I laugh my ass off.  I wish I had his life.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 10:47:39 AM EDT
What does AR15.com [b]CROOKS[/b] have to do with knowing how to flip a pancake?  [:O]  
Maybe that Paul guy can give you some expert pancake advice.  [;)]

Actually what always worked for me was using a pan with some canola oil heated at low-med heat and waiting for the texture on top of the pancake to change slightly before turning it over.  Of course do not attempt this skillful art at home while bombed!  Hope that helps. [:)]

Link Posted: 3/30/2001 10:48:13 AM EDT
Two words: [red]non-stick[/red]. Teflon is as good on frying pans or griddles as it is on AR-15 mags! Silverstone is better, but I've never seen it on a mag. Use a plastic spatula so ya don't scratch it up. The frying pan, not the mag! [;D]
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:01:37 AM EDT
Teflon? Plastic? Non-Stick?
Baaaaa! Be a real man and use a cast iron frypan!

Get a preban heavy cast iron frypan, scrub it out with white sand, soap and water, oil it up, place it in your oven at 400 for an hour or so, do it one or two more times, then wipe it down and get ready to cook!

Heat up the stove and the pan till water will just spatter when it hits the pan. Mix the batter up till it's a little thin, pour a measured amount (you make the call), on the pan, then wait till the bubbles start to rise to the top of the batter. Do a slow 30 count, then using a metal THIN flipper / spatula slowly seperate the pan from the pancake. When that is done then flip it, do a slow 30 count, lift it, check the bottom, cook till it's brown enough for you.
If you are feeling froggy you can try and flip it after you finished cooking the first side.

If you can't do that then I suggest McInternational House of Pancakes!

Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:01:51 AM EDT
PAM - the girl.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:07:10 AM EDT
Yeah GEF, I agree on the cast iron, but I was just trying to help a real McNeophyte get started.

...at McAlphonso's pancake breakfast

where I stole the margarine. [8D]
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:09:21 AM EDT
1 word.    -     Waffles

I just put the pancake batter into my waffle maker, and presto.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:13:47 AM EDT
OH NO! MCuzi is a cook now.  Who's doing the cleaning after ward?
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:28:19 AM EDT
McUzi, you can be honest, you were you just trying to make a substitute for a "warm apple pie" weren't you?
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:34:06 AM EDT
Two choices

raw batter
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 11:54:06 AM EDT
I use a griddle and butter, works great, even when I used to do it drunk.  
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 12:15:11 PM EDT

Don't look at the bottom.  Wait for bubbles to appear on the top.  When most of them have broken the thing should flip without a problem.

If the mix is made correctly of course.
View Quote

This is the way we cook our cakes cook our cakes cook our cakes.     This is how I was tought and works!  [sniper]
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 12:35:53 PM EDT
The best method of all is to relax, do a little channel surfing, and let your McGirlfriend do the cooking. I haven't burned anything since I adopted this method!
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 1:50:44 PM EDT
Sounds like you had better stock some McPopTarts for back up! [:D] Milldude
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 3:22:22 PM EDT
Straight from the Betty Crocker cookbook

How To Flip A Pancake


2 Cups Bisquick
1 Cup Milk
2 Eggs
1/4 tsp. Vanilla Flavoring
[red]1 62gr 5.56mm round[/red]

1. In large bowl combine pancake mix, milk, eggs, and vanilla. Mix contents until smooth.

2. Carefully pull bullet off brass.

3 Prior to pouring pancake batter in pan spinkle a dash of gunpowder across bottom of pan.

4. Pour in batter. Turn up heat.

5. Voila! Self flipping pancakes!

Adjust appropriately for higher alttitudes.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 3:43:11 PM EDT
McUzi, you are seriously funny.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 4:14:36 PM EDT
one word:


(the spray, not a girl)
View Quote

I think at 3 in the morning, when you are bombed, the girl Pam is more in order. [sex]
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 4:37:55 PM EDT
The best pancake flipper I know wears a ring I gave her.
Link Posted: 3/30/2001 4:46:30 PM EDT
What? No PAM?
Use CLP it work's for everything else!
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 7:55:07 AM EDT
So far,
1) Get some PAM
2) Teflon cookware (Yeah right. I own like 2 pieces of cookware, 2 plates, 2 forks 2 spoons (But for some reason, a billion butter knifes??))
3) Go to IHOP-

I am getting some PAM tonight (As well as another bottle of Southern Comfort)and trying this again

E=Mc U
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:11:25 AM EDT
Go get PAM and beg her to cook for ya.
Get a skillet and heat it up until a drop of water that is dropped on it sizzles and skips across it. It has to be hot! Spray it with PAM (the stuff you buy in the store). Take your batter and drop it on the hot skillet judge for yourself how big you want the pan cake. It will spread out pretty big and you don't want it much bigger than your spatula. Let it cook until it bubbles in the middle and it starts to get brown around the edges. Then you flip it over. Scoot the spatula under it and quickly flip it. [sniper]
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:23:04 AM EDT
Another piece of advice-don't turn the stove up all the way-medium-high is the max, otherwise the bottom will burn quickly while the top is still soggy. Good luck, it too me a month to make decent pancakes, but if you can bump fire an AK, you can make a pancake. [:D]

Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:25:12 AM EDT
Another piece of advice-don't turn the stove up all the way-medium-high is the max, otherwise the bottom will burn quickly while the top is still soggy. Good luck, it too me a month to make decent pancakes, but if you can bump fire an AK, you can make a pancake. [:D]

View Quote

Ahhhhhhhhh yes. That might explain it.
I had them on cherry-ass fire engine red HIGH HEAT. I cook everything over High heat. I guess it's just my personallity. If it isn't on the highest possible setting, it may as well not even be on in the first place.
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 8:37:50 AM EDT
Well damn, that explains it. Don't do that no mo. Not if you want edible pancakes.
Either that or turnin all the way up and hold the pan over the burner. Or something...

Link Posted: 3/31/2001 10:02:12 AM EDT
McUzi: "I cook everything over High heat. I guess it's just my personallity. If it isn't on the highest possible setting, it may as well not even be on in the first place."

I'm the same way except with sound equipment and throttles. All throttles. There's no such thing as too much horsepower!
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 10:54:16 AM EDT
Medium high heat get the oil hot before adding batter...when the pancake starts to form bubbles its getting close...watch it...when the entire pancake is covered with bubbles work your spatula under the cake...(plastic for teflon-steel for alum or stainless) when your spatula is  completly under the cake and youve worked it free from the pans surface lift it straight up four inches then not too fast and not too slow turn the cake over ...fry a minute (peek and s ee if its  brown) when it is ...its a pancake
if that doesnt work go out for breakfast pancakes are cheap....
Link Posted: 3/31/2001 12:53:04 PM EDT

A couple of things--

1.  The heat thing mentioned before is right (better to be too low than too high).

2.  The bubble thing is right on also--if you are going to turn it, the upper part shouldn't slide all over the place (it should be just barely set).  Along with non-stick cookware and Pam (which is vegatable oil, lethicin and alcohol).

3.  Pancakes are made with lower protein (gluten) flour (like pastry flour/cake flour--as opposed to high protein flour like bread flour).  That is why pancakes are soft when cooked (a bagel is made with very high protein flour--that is why it is so chewy).  If you mix the pancake batter too little, you don't let the gluten develop (any you get very crumbly pancakes), if you mix it too much, they get tough.  If yours were very crumbly, try mixing a little longer (follow the directions exactly the first few times--then experiment).

4.  Get good equipment--kind of like shooting--if you show up at the range with a jennings 22 vs. a Browning Buckmark.  Good cooking gear will last for years and does a much better job of keeping an even heat on the food (as important in cooking as a smooth trigger pull is in shooting).  I personally like the Revere Ware Excel cookware (non-stick, aluminum disc inside layers of stainless steel).  Use heavy duty nylon utensils with it (keep the metal things for use on the grill).

5.  To flip the pancake--practice with a cold pan and a lid to a tupperware container (or something else the same size as a pancake).  The motion is a little slide away from you and then a twitch upwards to flip it (the slide away gets it moving and then it hits the side of the pan, which starts the flipping motion).  Once you have it down cold, try it hot with a pancake that is COOKED ON BOTH SIDES ALREADY--if you try it with a half done pancake, you will make a mess of it the first few times.  

6.  You will find that one thing that impresses the hell out of the ladies is a guy that can really cook (especially when he cooks them breakfast the next morning).

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