Quoted:
Quoted: just ask the damn question, man
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well alright. I'll add a poll so no one has to actually respond.
ETA: I hope I'm not over-stepping any boundaries or offending anyone here. I'm really just looking for some honest input. This topic was covered in the team forum recently and elicited some response which I presume is less than trustworthy. My wife and I have been discussing this matter and have come to different conclusions, and since I always am interested in and value your opinions, I just thought that getting another, different perspective on it might be refreshing.
There are two arguments, that physical intimacy is a product of (1) emotional & mental needs being met, and/or (2) the basis, instinctual human desires and hormones. Does one lead to the other? Do they both have to coincide and be in agreeance? Can one last healthily without the other? The general consensus is that each situation and relationship is different, and that women desire physical intimacy when (1) exists and is healthy, while with men it is naturally and primarily (2). How much truth lies within this conjecture?
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SweetmotherofGod...I gotta give you credit Beetle...you pack a whallop in your questions!
First, I HIGHLY recommend reading "Hot Monogamy." It's chock full of info on this issue.
I don't agree with the first statement. People can and are physically intimate with people they hardly know all the time. I believe there is a difference between Making love and having raw sex. Neither one is better than the other, on a base level, and just because you love someone does NOT mean you can't have the latter. That said, true intimacy is reached (physically ans emotionally) when peoples needs are being met within the relationship. Everybody's needs are different. Saying that men JUST require sex alot and women JUST require cuddling is foolish. Part of the problem with relationships is that once established, folks find it difficult to ASK for what they want/need and grow resentful that they are not getting it and then...well...both physical and emotional intimacy break down. Men need more than sammiches and wild sex acts to be happy, whether they want to admit it or not. And We women need a hell of alot more than reassurance that our asses don't look big in our jeans.
FTR??? I find myself attracted physically to my husband at the weirdest moments---usually when we're in sync in other areas: last nite, while visiting a Christmas Lights RailRoad, I was joking with a lady next to me...hubby jumped into the fray, realized he'd said something that was a HUGE double entedre and I pounced on it. We all laughed, he looked at the woman and said, "I knew the minute it was out what she'd say."
I wanted to pounce on him right then and there.
But, er...the chidren, so I didn't.
Net net...every relationship is different. My opinion is that REAL intimacy (physical AND emotional) can only occur when communication is there between both parties.