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Posted: 5/27/2002 4:42:18 PM EDT
It's about the earth's atmosphere being polluted by methane from cows, endangering civilization.  Jack Ryan hatches a plot to convince all vegetarians that cows are vegetables in an effort to accelerate the demand for steaks and thus thin the herds.  It stars Meatloaf as Jack Ryan and Morgan Freeman as the Emperor of Japan.  Coming soon to a theater near you.
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 4:47:04 PM EDT
[:P]

Juggy
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 4:48:14 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 5/27/2002 4:48:42 PM EDT by CAPITALIST]
I'd watch that one[whacko]
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:02:15 PM EDT
or how bout THE FEAR OF ALL SUMS

-jack ryan the gay parylized hippi helps failing innercity illegal aliens learn to add and the goes on to save the ghetto from the fuzz
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:05:15 PM EDT
Whatever, I think the book was much better than the movie.
I mean, why did they have to make the cow herds all Texas Militia owned when in the book those bovine creatures have been rustled about by Argentinian commie guerillas? Doesn't make any sense. And what really ticked me off (you don't realize this at first, since "Jack" Ryan doesn't actually appear in the first 30 minutes), what maniac decided that "Jack" was suddenly the nickname of Jacqueline Ryan, the lesbian CIA intern from Boulder? They left out the best part too, would have been such a great scene to see all those paintball-firing robots mowing down the cows. Well, on a more positive note, I liked the scene where Andrea Price flips out and cuts off the head of the Croatian real estate agent.
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:07:49 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Kar98:
Whatever, I think the book was much better than the movie.
I mean, why did they have to make the cow herds all Texas Militia owned when in the book those bovine creatures have been rustled about by Argentinian commie guerillas? Doesn't make any sense. And what really ticked me off (you don't realize this at first, since "Jack" Ryan doesn't actually appear in the first 30 minutes), what maniac decided that "Jack" was suddenly the nickname of Jacqueline Ryan, the lesbian CIA intern from Boulder? They left out the best part too, would have been such a great scene to see all those paintball-firing robots mowing down the cows. Well, on a more positive note, I liked the scene where Andrea Price flips out and cuts off the head of the Croatian real estate agent.
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I was totally thrown for a loop when the lesbian CIA intern from Boulder went under cover dressed as a penis..
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:10:33 PM EDT
[img]http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/mica/madcow.gif[/img]
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:18:02 PM EDT
Originally Posted By djk:
Originally Posted By Kar98:
Whatever, I think the book was much better than the movie.
I mean, why did they have to make the cow herds all Texas Militia owned when in the book those bovine creatures have been rustled about by Argentinian commie guerillas? Doesn't make any sense. And what really ticked me off (you don't realize this at first, since "Jack" Ryan doesn't actually appear in the first 30 minutes), what maniac decided that "Jack" was suddenly the nickname of Jacqueline Ryan, the lesbian CIA intern from Boulder? They left out the best part too, would have been such a great scene to see all those paintball-firing robots mowing down the cows. Well, on a more positive note, I liked the scene where Andrea Price flips out and cuts off the head of the Croatian real estate agent.
View Quote


I was totally thrown for a loop when the lesbian CIA intern from Boulder went under cover dressed as a penis..
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Geez - thanks for ruining the movie for those of us that haven't seen it.  Inconsiderate jerks.

P.S. Did they leave out the part where the prairie dogs rebelled against the cow alliance because of all the species-profiling?
Link Posted: 5/27/2002 5:25:07 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Johnny_Reno:
P.S. Did they leave out the part where the prairie dogs rebelled against the cow alliance because of all the species-profiling?
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Now you're confusing this one with "Without a Horse".
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 6:17:43 AM EDT
Naturally, the praire dogs organize terrorist groups and train to assassinate important cows.  It's all to gain a praire dog homeland.

[img]www.dimensional.com/~mwluse/groundhog.jpg[/img]
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 6:20:34 AM EDT
And of course there will be the gay porn version called, " The Cum of All Queers".
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 6:37:15 AM EDT
Bung, you are one sick puppy.[:X*]

-T.
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 7:33:56 AM EDT
Originally Posted By bunghole:
And of course there will be the gay porn version called, " The Cum of All Queers".
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[:D] Laughing my Exit Only ass off!! [:D]
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 7:36:47 AM EDT
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 8:09:16 AM EDT
Come on, they nuke Baltimore in the movie, if you've ever lived in MD, you've got to see the movie.  That alone is worth the $4 for the matinee, or the $12 for the DVD when it hits the bargin bin.  I know when I get the DVD, I'm going to get my computer to play that scene every time the computer boots up.  

Kharn
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 9:19:52 AM EDT
Originally Posted By Kharn:
Come on, they nuke Baltimore in the movie, if you've ever lived in MD, you've got to see the movie.  That alone is worth the $4 for the matinee, or the $12 for the DVD when it hits the bargin bin.  I know when I get the DVD, I'm going to get my computer to play that scene every time the computer boots up.  

Kharn
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Amen to that!  Maryland is the East Coast's version of Kalifornistan.  I think the two are always trying to one up each other in the marxism doctrine.
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 9:25:34 AM EDT
Originally Posted By bunghole:
And of course there will be the gay porn version called, " The Cum of All Queers".
View Quote


I'll bet Ben Affleck stars in that one, too.
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 10:32:18 AM EDT
Jack Ryan takes on the educational establishment and tackles the problem of low math test scores [:E]in:

THE FEAR OF ALL SUMS
Link Posted: 5/28/2002 11:00:50 AM EDT
Next up, Jack Ryan goes on a drinking rampage in

THE SUM OF ALL BEERS

which is only slightly slowed by the actions of the "freedom fighter" prarie dogs trying to assasinate the lesbian CIA interns...

Link Posted: 5/28/2002 2:38:45 PM EDT
Originally Posted By Kharn:
Come on, they nuke Baltimore in the movie, if you've ever lived in MD, you've got to see the movie.  That alone is worth the $4 for the matinee, or the $12 for the DVD when it hits the bargin bin.  I know when I get the DVD, I'm going to get my computer to play that scene every time the computer boots up.  

Kharn
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I lived in Merryland for over ten years. Laurel and Annapolis-which is part of Baltimore really. Maybe i'll see the flick when it goes to the buck theatre.

At least MD acts as kind of a buffer zone to protect us Virginians from the rest of the North east.


lib
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