Yep, I know the type. A variety band I used to work for had the stiffest keyboard player ever: proficient musician, teacher, etc., but no coolness whatsoever. He yawned on stage, looked at his watch repeatedly, and generally maintained a curmudgeonly attitude. I was the sound man, and every time he showed up he asked me where to find a chair. No, I don't know where you can find a chair, doofus! I'm busy, bring a dang portable keyboard bench next time.
As far as church music goes, there's nothing wrong with that provided you find the right church. Forget the places where the white folks sing "Bringing in the Sheaves", and find a down home church playing swing Gospel that makes you stand up and shout. There's got to be a bluesy rocker for you somewhere out there. Just my $.02.