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9/19/2017 7:27:10 PM
Posted: 2/21/2006 3:25:51 PM EDT
Hey guys, this may seem like a strange question. But an Amish couple that we have been doing business with has recently lost a baby due to pneumonia. I found out today when I went to their house and found a note taped to the door (we had a meeting scheduled for today). I felt terrible. While not real close to them, they are a very nice family, and their daughter (while only 15 months) seemed very sweet. I know there two older childeren (4 and 5) also adored her. Anyway, to get to the point, I was wondering if there was any Amish etiquette when it comes to these sorts of things? We'd like to do something nice for them, but not sure what. I know the funeral was today, and they won't be home again till tomorrow. Again, maybe a stupid question, as I know they aren't THAT different from the rest of us, but thought it couldn't hurt to ask.................
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:34:20 PM EDT
You could express your condolences with a simple sympathy card. You could also send them a note or visit them and offer to help with anything they may need. One thing to help you understand them a little better. The Amish believe that everything that happens is planned by God. So they will be very accepting of their child's death. This does not mean that they would not feel the same emotions as any other parents that lose a child. However they will "be at peace" with it. If they seem almost cool about their child, that is the reason.
The Amish truelly do appreciate the simple things. So as stated before a simple offer to help or a card offering the same will go a long way.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:35:02 PM EDT
How do the Amish hold a funeral?
In Lancaster County, funeral and burial usually takes place three days after death. A funeral director from the local area assists in a minimal way, which usually includes embalming, and sometimes includes supplying the coffin and the hearse. In death, as in life the simplicity is evident. A plain wooden coffin is built. Often it is six-sided with a split lie - the upper part is hinged so it can be opened for viewing the body. It is very simple - no ornate carving or fine fabrics. Traditionally a woman will wear the white apron she wore on her wedding day. In some Amish communities both men and women wear white for burial. The tone of the two-hour Amish funeral service is hopeful, yet full of admonition for the living. There are no eulogies. Respect for the deceased is expressed, but not praise. A hymn is spoken but not sung. There are no flowers. The grave is hand dug in an Amish church district cemetery. There will be only a simple tombstone to mark the spot, much like all the other tombstones in the cemetery - in death as in life, we are all equal and do not elevate one person above another.

Above all, I would suspect, and respect, that the Amish will rely upon each other.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:36:34 PM EDT
Sorry to say I can't answer your question, but it is nice of you to put so much thought into it.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 3:37:57 PM EDT
I believe a hand written note would be better than a card. Simple things for simple folks.
Link Posted: 2/21/2006 6:06:44 PM EDT
Thanks for the replies, and the insights guys. Kind of along the lines of what I thought. Thinking we may wait a day or two and just go pay our condolences. Let them have a few days to themselves after the funeral.
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