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9/22/2017 12:11:25 AM
Posted: 1/10/2006 1:58:59 PM EDT
No, I'm not married, but I have a friend who is in need some counseling for their marriage. I figured I'd ask here since together, we know everything, in addition to the fact that many people here have gone through the same hardships. Does anybody know of any online resources/forums that is the Arfcom of marriage counseling?

As far as face to face counseling, I guess the best thing to do would be to pick up the yellow pages and find one? Any advice there?

Thanks guys
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:00:18 PM EDT
He should just get an account here and spill his guts like the rest of us.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:00:53 PM EDT
Waste of money ... if a couple is so far gone that they need counseling ... it's over ... a counsler will delay the inevitable or keep a couple together for a little while longer for either children's sake or monetary reasons ...

If a couple is seeing a marriage counsler ... they want to stay together for something besides love ...
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:03:05 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:03:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 2:05:31 PM EDT by jchewie]
If they are a Christian couple the two books - The Excellent Wife and The Exemplary Husband - do a pretty good job of laying out and addressing foundational husband/wife roles, responsibilities, attitudes, and desires.

If they aren't Christian, these two books may help anyway.

Both of them need to want to stay together, and counseling can help address problems. But they have to want to make it happen also.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:10:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
Many employers offer free marriage counseling through EAP. Maybe one of them has that benefit.



Also, many churches offer free counciling.
many pastors, preachers, rabi, etc do an excellent job
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:13:13 PM EDT
Try the local bartender
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:15:08 PM EDT

Originally Posted By buckfever34:
He should just get an account here and spill his guts like the rest of us.


I hardly consider that marriage counseling. He'd have to sift through 70% of the thread saying "dump the bitch and keep your money" before he got to a response that would actually help.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:23:07 PM EDT
MO is that counseling is rarely beneficial.

First, many marriages are over long before they get to that point.

Second, most marriage counselors are idiots. About one in ten is useful IMO.

Third, the answer for these people is in themselves.
They have to know how to explain what they want or need and what they expect.
They need to learn to fight without taking cheap shots.
And they need to have realistic expectations. They are not always going to get their way or have things just as they like. Most of their unhappiness is inside of them and has nothing to do with the other person. Realizing that is essential.
Finally, they need to learn to just stick it out. Everyone has rough times and bad shit in their marriage. Short of adultery or abuse there is rarely a good reason for divorce.

A counselor can help some by pointing them in the right direction and giving them some tools to work things out themselves. No reason that a counselor should be necessary for that in a marriage between 2 mature adults however. The problem arises when one or both are immature and/or extremely selfish. Both are common in America these days.

If anyone is going to go this route I would sure rec they avoid buttheads with Masters in Sociology. Those asshats are dangerous.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:23:49 PM EDT
www.nomarriage.com

Link Posted: 1/10/2006 2:43:26 PM EDT
Well some of you guys are real helpful.

It's a her by the way, not a him. I will refrain from speaking of her husband since I linked her this thread.

Thanks for the constructive post Drjarhead
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 3:28:37 PM EDT

Originally Posted By Alien:
Well some of you guys are real helpful.

It's a her by the way, not a him. I will refrain from speaking of her husband since I linked her this thread.

Thanks for the constructive post Drjarhead



Well if it's a chick then it is all her fault!

Just kidding.

She might find individual counseling useful even if her husband refuses. Not a huge fan of any of it but it helps some people, esp if you find someone good. My advice would be someone with a PhD in Psychology who has had some experience. The therapy should be goal oriented IMO, not to sit and dredge up all the bad shit that ever happened to you and talk about it over and over and over again. Continually dredging that shit up is negative and harmful. It can be useful to understand why you think and act the way you do but then move FORWARD.

I would definitely not recommend just pulling someone out of the Yellow Pages. I am dead serious that some of these people are worse than nothing. Ask around, ask your family doc and explain exactly what you are looking for.

I very much encourage excercise for everyone who is having stress in their lives. Nothing works better.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 4:03:18 PM EDT

Originally Posted By xxTAPxx:

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
Many employers offer free marriage counseling through EAP. Maybe one of them has that benefit.



Also, many churches offer free counciling.
many pastors, preachers, rabi, etc do an excellent job



+1


I heard about loveyourmarriage.com on the radio the other day. I didn't check it out but they could.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 4:47:59 PM EDT
[Last Edit: 1/10/2006 4:48:41 PM EDT by Rustygun]
www.marriagebuilders.com is worth a look
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 4:48:42 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 4:58:56 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 4:59:31 PM EDT
The Bible.
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:01:05 PM EDT
Court Room
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:02:08 PM EDT
Link Posted: 1/10/2006 5:08:26 PM EDT

Originally Posted By 82ndAbn:
Many employers offer free marriage counseling through EAP. Maybe one of them has that benefit.



+1
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