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Posted: 9/4/2004 2:25:26 PM EDT
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­There was a much married woman who walked into a bridal shop one day and told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Well", replied the sales clerk, "exactly what type of dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said, "A long, frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk didn't know quite what to say but she finally said,
"Frankly madam, gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who are being married the first time -- for those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean."

"Well" replied the customer, more than a little put out. "I can assure you that I am as innocent as the rest of them. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as any first time bride. "You see, my first husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were checking into our hotel. My second husband and I got into a terrible fight in the limo on our way to the reception and have not spoken since. We had that wedding annulled immediately."

"What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"Well" said the woman, "he was a Democrat and every night for four years he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be."


Will the father be present during the birth?" asked
the obstetrician solicitously.

"Nah," replied the mother to be. "He and my husband
don't get along

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He
approached a uniformed policeman and said,
"I've lost my grandpa."

The cop asked, "What's he like?"

The little boy replied, "Jack Daniels and women with big boobs."

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