An open letter to the people of the great sovereign states of Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Florida, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, Arkansas, and Texas.

Greetings.

Nearly a century and a half ago, the people of your states started a bit of unpleasantness with the rest of the nation, and the net result was nearly half a million dead, millions of dollars in destroyed infrastructure, and hard feelings that have lasted to this day.

In light of recent events, let me offer my sincerest apologies. It turns out that all of us were on the wrong side of the question. Certainly, the argument was framed in the final years of the conflict by the noble cause of emancipation, but the main cause that we fought for, the preservation of the Union, was a mistake. Keeping your eleven states as part of the United States has turned out to be a disaster, and it’s time for us to make good on it.

The United States hereby officially apologizes for the preservation of the bonds between your states and ours.

The Union Army hereby officially, retroactively, surrenders.

The United States hereby acknowledges and recognizes the existence of, and independence of, the Confederate States of America.


Are you happy now? You get to keep your distinct culture. You get to fly your little Confederate battle flags without recrimination. You get to think you're right. But we, the North and the West, will end up with the better deal.

We won't have to deal with you any more.

You see, your new nation is composed of the former States that were literally subsidized by the rest of us. You, who complained endlessly about how your taxes were too high, were actually receiving more (in some cases, considerably more) in Federal tax revenues than you were paying out. And that’s before we factor the money we poured into your region in the past through the Tennessee Valley Authority, Rural Electrification, the CCC, the War on Poverty, and so on. Today (well, actually yesterday, since today you’re on your own) you’re still getting more from the Federal Government than you’re contributing. If we were speaking in biological terms, you’d be designated a parasite and eradicated without second thought, but we in the North and West actually have a measure of human compassion, unlike most of you, and would not stoop to that level.

True, we’d be losing access to the oil fields of Texas and the Gulf Coast, but know what? We don’t care. We still have the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to draw from, not to mention Alaska once we get the pipeline up and running, and we can keep buying oil from Canada. That will keep us going for a while. Needless to say, we might have to import some oil from the Confederacy, which you will gouge us for, but you’re already gouging us for it anyhow. The United States (well, up until we let you go) is controlled by two Texas oilmen, who have done their level best to keep the price of oil artificially inflated. You can’t do much worse to the price of oil than you already are. And we won’t need it for long, since once we get rid of your influence in our Government, we’ll actually elect some sensible leaders who will wean us off the teat of foreign oil, and invest in alternative sources of energy. And before you think you can prevent this by taking Al Gore away from us, we’ve already arranged for him to have political asylum in New York.

Economically, socially, and culturally, we’ll be much better off without you, so don’t worry about us.


There is a question of where to draw the boundaries. Certainly, the original eleven states belong in the Confederacy, but we don’t really need to stop there. After all, there are many other states that belong with you. Kentucky, for instance. It’s always aligned more with the South than with America, so while we’ll lose the big horse race and good barbecue, we’re willing to part with it. Oklahoma, Kansas, and Nebraska belong with you, too, when you factor in their cultures. Plus this way YOU have to deal with Fred Phelps, Bob Dole, and James Inhofe.

We’ll keep Arizona and New Mexico – they’re a lot like you, but they occasionally come to their senses so we’ll keep them in the fold. Colorado is tricky. My gut reaction would be to let them go, but once you get outside of Colorado Springs, the rest of the state is actually quite sensible. One would be tempted to let Wyoming go because of Dick Cheney, but since he’s really from Texas and just registered to vote in Wyoming at the last minute to keep Texas’ electoral votes in the Republican column, we’ll hold onto it and ship him back down to you.

We’ll keep Utah and Idaho, since we’re going to need SOME insane states to keep us on our toes now that Alabama is gone, and they’ll be vastly outnumbered so they can’t do any real damage. So there's our border. Good? Good.


There is, of course, the question of people of color. We have ample evidence of how you’d treat them after Hurricane Katrina, when the Texas cowboy occupying the White House left them all to drown. But don’t worry, we’ve taken this into account. We’ll take them. All of them. They’ll be welcome with us. We’ll pay to relocate them. We’ll still have huge swaths of land in Wyoming, Montana, Alaska, and the Dakotas, whose sparse populations give them way too much political influence as it is, and we can take advantage of that. We’ll build new towns solely for Southern refugees. We’ll put them to work building these new cities and new infrastructure, and then we’ll let them have them! It would be a new homestead program! And we don’t have to limit it to blacks, either! Any free-thinking, intelligent, and sensible Southerner would be welcome to homestead with us; we’d love to have them contributing to our economy and culture! We won’t need to worry about slavery starting back up, since everyone who would have a chance to become a slave would migrate north and find a better life even than they have now!


It sounds like a great deal to me! Of course, without Northern and Western tax revenue your economies would start to dry up, and there’s a chance that within 50 years you’ll be petitioning to come back into the Union, but forget it. You’ve run things for far too long. We’ve let you get away with murder. You wanted to be on your own, so now it’s time to let you have your wish. Thanks for all the fish, don’t let the golden door hit you on the ass on your way out. Good bye, and good riddance.


And there you have it folks...another incoherent GEM from the Moonbats at DU. Your number one source for endless entertainment.    

honestly, what color is the sky in that messed up person's world

Giving credit where it's due:  They picked a very good topic that will serve to divide and conquer the opposition.  

You southerns still bitter over that loss?

About time...

Giving credit where it's due: They picked a very good topic that will serve to divide and conquer the opposition.

Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss?

See?

Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss?

Is pig pussy pork???

Wow, no hatred there.  Nope, none at all.

Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss?

Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots?
And it wasnt' about slavery

It's like every DU wet dream rolled into one rant!

Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasn't about slavery

Quoted for truth

please note...this is from DU...

Nearly a century and a half ago, the people of your states started a bit of unpleasantness with the rest of the nation, and the net result was nearly half a million dead, millions of dollars in destroyed infrastructure, and hard feelings that have lasted to this day.

Bah, everyone knows the yankees started the war of northern aggression.

I'd take that deal.

No more dealing with the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, California, and the Eastern seaboard.

Sweet.

Let's Elect Haley Barbour to be the 'second' president of the CSA



Hax

I would argue that, to a great degree, that supposed "net drain on government funds" was caused by the so-called "Emancipation".

Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasnt' about slavery

Well, it was you guys that started it.

I am just so surprised the south still talks about this so much.  It really isn't that big of a deal here.

Remember, all the hardships of the civil war the south brought on themselves.  And they brought even more hardships during the reformation due to the murder of Lincoln.

So in short, you have no one to blame but yourself for any misery that resulted from the civil war.

With that said, I am glad the southern states are still part of the USA.

Are you?

Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasnt' about slavery

Nope, it wasn't about slavery. The slaves weren't freed by either side until the final year of the war, and that was an act to make part of the cause of the war moot. It was about the right of the states to determine their own laws and customs, rather than the central government.

The central government won. Frankly, I would have preferred it hadn't, but the union had somehow been preserved regardless. Less government interference in our lives without weakening the American people by dividing them. The French and the Mexicans were poised to invade and would have if the US hadn't done some saber rattling after the war ended.




Now, if the south WAS suddenly thrown out of the union today, I think we'd be better off than most. Heck, Texas alone would have the resources to remain largely independent. We've got our own oil fields, possession of a good chunk of the gulf (from before they limited the amount of sea you could claim), we've got half of NASA, we're getting two new nuclear power plants, we've got a large military force AND a heavily armed citizenry so we should be able to fend off invaders (mostly from Mexico) once we no longer have the federal idiots in charge, we've got quite a few computer and technology corporations and laboratories, etc.

We'd be sitting pretty good if we were suddenly independent. And with the other southern states coming along with us, heck, we'd be doing just fine. We'd have economic and food issues for the first few years, but we'd get over it soon enough with trade agreements and a little ass-kicking.

just pulease don't throw me in that briar patch

I wish, lord how I wish.

Please, someone make this guy President immediately so he can implement his plan.

yankees claim it was for slavery, southerners say it was for states rights. they are wrong we are right. simple.

their army defeated our army, simple.


but simple doesn't fly at DU

Quoted: dear DU yankees FUCK Y'ALL

WHAT HE SAID !!      

Quoted: I would argue that, to a great degree, that supposed "net drain on government funds" was caused by the so-called "Emancipation".

Exactly right.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasnt' about slavery Well, it was you guys that started it. I am just so surprised the south still talks about this so much.  It really isn't that big of a deal here. Remember, all the hardships of the civil war the south brought on themselves.  And they brought even more hardships during the reformation due to the murder of Lincoln. So in short, you have no one to blame but yourself for any misery that resulted from the civil war. With that said, I am glad the southern states are still part of the USA. Are you?

Kalifornia doesn't have a dog in this fight, or any other fight for that matter....except for gay marriage maybe.

sooooooo, is this going to be implented by say, next Tuesday? I'm not sure what to think but really my first reaction is: "OK, thanks, now take your Brady campaign billboards out of my state on your way out"

Do you guys think the major firearms manufacturers will move to our country? Citizen discounts?

If they want to relocate people out of here, we'll have all kinds of room for people who want to run from the newly organized boundries and come down this way...so I guess it would all work out in the end. Alaska's going to be pissed, I hear they like their wide open spans of uninhabited land.

I'm good with this plan. Let's do it.

There is, of course, the question of people of color. We have ample evidence of how you’d treat them after Hurricane Katrina, when the Texas cowboy occupying the White House left them all to drown. But don’t worry, we’ve taken this into account. We’ll take them. All of them. They’ll be welcome with us. We’ll pay to relocate them. We’ll still have huge swaths of land in Wyoming, Montana, Alaska, and the Dakotas, whose sparse populations give them way too much political influence as it is, and we can take advantage of that. We’ll build new towns solely for Southern refugees. We’ll put them to work building these new cities and new infrastructure, and then we’ll let them have them! It would be a new homestead program! And we don’t have to limit it to blacks, either! Any free-thinking, intelligent, and sensible Southerner would be welcome to homestead with us; we’d love to have them contributing to our economy and culture! We won’t need to worry about slavery starting back up, since everyone who would have a chance to become a slave would migrate north and find a better life even than they have now!

Oh hell yes. They can take all the welfare cases (like the Katrina refugees who are still causing havok in the cities that accepted them) of every color, and be welcome to them.

Meanwhile, everyone who is actually productive (has a solid job, maybe owns land or property, etc) will stay here, because who would want to abandon it in order to go build a homestead in a leftist welfare swamp?

See what that does to the imbalance of revenue/expense

Also, all the criminals will be headed north, because they'll be coddled there, whereas the "New South" will be instituting Texas-style fast-track executions. And the leftists can be welcome to have them, too.

When can we start?

Quoted: sooooooo, is this going to be implented by say, next Tuesday? I'm not sure what to think but really my first reaction is: "OK, thanks, now take your Brady campaign billboards out of my state on your way out" Do you guys think the major firearms manufacturers will move to our country? Citizen discounts? If they want to relocate people out of here, we'll have all kinds of room for people who want to run from the newly organized boundries and come down this way...so I guess it would all work out in the end. Alaska's going to be pissed, I hear they like their wide open spans of uninhabited land. I'm good with this plan. Let's do it.

Our first act will be to liberate Alaska.

Also, we need to elect national leaders. I nominate Chuck Norris for president, Ted Nugent for vice president, Old_Painless as secretary of state, and R. Lee Ermey as secretary of war.


ETA: Any and all firearm and ammo manufacturers that move to the Confederate States of America don't have to pay taxes for ten years.

Further, the second amendment will be left identical to that in the US bill of rights, but with the addendum: "The only restriction on keeping and bearing arms shall be what the people can afford to purchase".

Short-barrelled shotguns, machine guns, mortars, howitzers, RPG's, tanks, flamethrowrs- if you can afford the price tag, it's yours! No registration or restrictions!

I love how the people of the south get blamed for the cost of the so called "reconstruction".

I say we accept their Terms.  

Such compassion, understanding and open mindedness

Quoted: There is, of course, the question of people of color. We have ample evidence of how you’d treat them after Hurricane Katrina, when the Texas cowboy occupying the White House left them all to drown. But don’t worry, we’ve taken this into account. We’ll take them. All of them. They’ll be welcome with us. We’ll pay to relocate them. We’ll still have huge swaths of land in Wyoming, Montana, Alaska, and the Dakotas, whose sparse populations give them way too much political influence as it is, and we can take advantage of that. We’ll build new towns solely for Southern refugees. We’ll put them to work building these new cities and new infrastructure, and then we’ll let them have them! It would be a new homestead program! And we don’t have to limit it to blacks, either! Any free-thinking, intelligent, and sensible Southerner would be welcome to homestead with us; we’d love to have them contributing to our economy and culture! We won’t need to worry about slavery starting back up, since everyone who would have a chance to become a slave would migrate north and find a better life even than they have now!

I'm still trying to wiggle through this one.... the man wants a black communist society?



But where do I sign?

It aint just the deep south anymore buddy.  welcome to the new south.




and we get alaska.

Our founding fathers would have sided with the South.

Anyone who thinks differently needs to read something other than public school text books.

History is written by the winners of war.

It's a great plan.

The south could finally start exploration for new oil sorces in the gulf and off the coast of Florida.

We could also finally build a fence and shoot any foreign invaders.

Meanwhile, the North would soon be over-run by Islamo Facists with no hope of self defence because they would have banned all gun ownership by this time.

So after we allow the Islamo Facists to eradicate all of the liberal, scum bums they would surely target first, we could then destroy all of  the invading ROP'ers and take back which ever states we deem worthy.

With all of the libtards exterminated we would then be unhindered to act in the best interest of our country.  Thus bringing an end to terrorism, and building a better and brighter future for our children.

It's a perfect plan, I'm all in.

uuuumm...A MAJOR Defense supplier is in South Carolina......FNUSA. That means the Grand Army of the South will have all brand spankin new M16s, M240s, M249s and FN 9mm and .40 pistols...Along with a major portion of the former USAs military capabilities.

Just have to rename FNUSA.....FNCSA

Note to author of the open letter…

F U

Now obviously this last one needs some revision, but you can see where it's going and it's a good start.

Quoted: It's a great plan. The south could finally start exploration for new oil sorces in the gulf and off the coast of Florida. We could also finally build a fence and shoot any foreign invaders. Meanwhile, the North would soon be over-run by Islamo Facists with no hope of self defence because they would have banned all gun ownership by this time. So after we allow the Islamo Facists to eradicate all of the liberal, scum bums they would surely target first, we could then destroy all of  the invading ROP'ers and take back which ever states we deem worthy. With all of the libtards exterminated we would then be unhindered to act in the best interest of our country.  Thus bringing an end to terrorism, and building a better and brighter future for our children. It's a perfect plan, I'm all in.

If you'd run on that campaign message, I'd vote for ya...

i'd like to cut his guts out with a dull dirty rock

I want to move to the South.

Quoted: uuuumm...A MAJOR Defense supplier is in South Carolina......FNUSA. That means the Grand Army of the South will have all brand spankin new M16s, M240s, M249s and FN 9mm and .40 pistols...Along with a major portion of the former USAs military capabilities. Just have to rename FNUSA.....FNCSA

Yup. And as I said, we'll have oil resources, most or all of NASA, quite a few technology manufacturers, etc. And I believe Bushmaster is relocating to Florida, is it not?

We won't even need to change most things from the way they are currently. Keep the same uniforms, keep the same currency (making a gradual shift to proprietary currency since obviously the CSA can't have USA money. Actually, the only changes needed to currency would be to change the "United States of America" on all the coins and bills to "Confederate States of America". And I think we have at least one mint in the south, so that takes care of that issue.), etc.

Then we can implement SteyrAUG's plan for taking care of the illegals: find and arrest all of them, put them to work building defenses along the border, then execute the murders, rapists, etc. and deport all the rest. With a new wall, minefield, armed patrols, helicopter recon, and fast response force, our southern border will be secure from invading Mexicans.

That will just leave all the Mexicans and Unionists coming across our borders with US states. We can do the same deal there; once we've gotten it all figured out with who is living in the CSA and who is living in the USA, we just start deporting all the Unionists who come across illegally after using them to build another secure border between us and them.

Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasnt' about slavery

Name the EXACT ISSUES it was about.

If you say "taxatation" I'll want to know EXACTLY what about taxation.
If you say "representation" I'll want to know EXACTLY what about taxation.
If you say "tarrifs" I'll want to know EXACTLY what about tarrifs.
If you say "State's Rights" I'll want to know what the individual State's wanted to have a say in.

Wanna know what each of those comes back to???

It's been a 140+ years, the South started a fight, got it's ass kicked, get over it.

Quoted: ETA: Any and all firearm and ammo manufacturers that move to the Confederate States of America don't have to pay taxes for ten years. Further, the second amendment will be left identical to that in the US bill of rights, but with the addendum: "The only restriction on keeping and bearing arms shall be what the people can afford to purchase". Short-barrelled shotguns, machine guns, mortars, howitzers, RPG's, tanks, flamethrowrs- if you can afford the price tag, it's yours! No registration or restrictions!

Agreed, but with yet another addendum:

"The People" for the purpose of this ammendment, shall be defined any citizen of the United States.


Otherwise, you get idiots saying "The National Guard can afford all of that, so what's the problem?". Gotta cover the bases.

Quoted: Quoted: Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss? Wouldnt you be if you were invaded by a tyrants army and had states rights trampled underneath by Union Boots? And it wasnt' about slavery Nope, it wasn't about slavery. The slaves weren't freed by either side until the final year of the war, and that was an act to make part of the cause of the war moot. It was about the right of the states to determine their own laws and customs, rather than the central government.

What were the exact laws that the Central government and the Southern States at loggerheads about?

Same thing with Customs?

Quoted: There is, of course, the question of people of color. We have ample evidence of how you’d treat them after Hurricane Katrina, when the Texas cowboy occupying the White House left them all to drown. But don’t worry, we’ve taken this into account. We’ll take them. All of them. They’ll be welcome with us. We’ll pay to relocate them. We’ll still have huge swaths of land in Wyoming, Montana, Alaska, and the Dakotas, whose sparse populations give them way too much political influence as it is, and we can take advantage of that. We’ll build new towns solely for Southern refugees. We’ll put them to work building these new cities and new infrastructure, and then we’ll let them have them! It would be a new homestead program! And we don’t have to limit it to blacks, either! Any free-thinking, intelligent, and sensible Southerner would be welcome to homestead with us; we’d love to have them contributing to our economy and culture! We won’t need to worry about slavery starting back up, since everyone who would have a chance to become a slave would migrate north and find a better life even than they have now! Oh hell yes. They can take all the welfare cases (like the Katrina refugees who are still causing havok in the cities that accepted them) of every color, and be welcome to them. Meanwhile, everyone who is actually productive (has a solid job, maybe owns land or property, etc) will stay here, because who would want to abandon it in order to go build a homestead in a leftist welfare swamp? See what that does to the imbalance of revenue/expense Also, all the criminals will be headed north, because they'll be coddled there, whereas the "New South" will be instituting Texas-style fast-track executions. And the leftists can be welcome to have them, too. When can we start?

Hell Yeah, but I dont think many would make it to be fast tracked to execution. They'd be shot by the first person they pull a knife on or what have you, after all in the New CSA we would all be armed

Well, okay then. It's about time you Yankees came to your senses. One question though. Can I keep my lake property in Minnesota? I really like it there in the summer. Plus, the women down here are way better looking.

True, we’d be losing access to the oil fields of Texas and the Gulf Coast, but know what? We don’t care. We still have the Strategic Petroleum Reserve to draw from, not to mention Alaska once we get the pipeline up and running, and we can keep buying oil from Canada. That will keep us going for a while. Needless to say, we might have to import some oil from the Confederacy, which you will gouge us for, but you’re already gouging us for it anyhow. The United States (well, up until we let you go) is controlled by two Texas oilmen, who have done their level best to keep the price of oil artificially inflated. You can’t do much worse to the price of oil than you already are. And we won’t need it for long, since once we get rid of your influence in our Government, we’ll actually elect some sensible leaders who will wean us off the teat of foreign oil, and invest in alternative sources of energy. And before you think you can prevent this by taking Al Gore away from us, we’ve already arranged for him to have political asylum in New York.

Quoted: You southerns still bitter over that loss?

Are you referring to the temporary cease fire?

Oh, and as part of the deal I propose that a new ammendment be ratified by the USA:

"A well schooled electorate being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and read books shall not be infringed".

Technically it shouldn't change anything, but I'm an evil bastard who needs entertainment in  his later years.

Quoted: i'd like to cut his guts out with a dull dirty rock

I like that. I'll have to try to slip this in my day to day conversations.