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Posted: 9/17/2004 5:22:30 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/30/2004 12:52:19 PM EST by wedge1082]
Shortly after seeing my first movie at the age of three, Star Wars The Empire Strikes Back, my parents took me to Toys-R-Us so that I could stock up on Star Wars Action figures and vehicles.

I already had a very impressive collection from the first film, but I needed a snow speeder, a Tauntaun, and most importantly an AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport). My excitement built as I envisioned myself holding Wedge’s snow speeder and tying up the legs of my own AT-AT.

Little did I know that this trip would end in disappointment.

We turned on the Star Wars aisle, and I ran to the AT-AT section and struggled to lift the box. It proved to heavy for my small frame, and I collapsed under its weight. It mattered little to me that the AT-AT that I longed for now threatened to end my short life. If I had been crushed to death that day, I would have died with a smile on my face my tiny arms wrapped around a box filled with happiness.

As my parents arrived they lifted to box off my chest, and looked at the price. I could sense that something was wrong from the looks on their faces. I must take action now if I was to make sure that my AT-AT would go home with me.

I pleaded, then cried, and finally had to resort to mad hysteria. Nothing worked, and we left that day with only a snow speeder and my broken heart.

That night I tried to make the best of it. Wedge’s snow speeder flew low across the living room floor and crossed into the dinning room. Just ahead he could make out the giant legs of the dinning room chairs, which in my mind were Imperial AT-AT walkers. Wedge only had one shot at this. The walkers must be stopped before they reached Echo Base, which was in the kitchen. “Good shot Janson!” I cried out as the harpoon entangled it self around the leg of the chair. As Wedge struggled to make the tight turns around the chair I had not noticed that he had reached the end of the harpoon cable. SNAP.

The cable had broke, and my disappoint grew even more. This could never work. I needed an AT-AT. Christmas was around the corner. Santa would surly pick up where my parents had failed, I thought. I gathered up my broken harpoon cable and vowed that the next flight over Hoth would only occur when Wedge could face the proper enemy.

Christmas came and went and still I had no AT-AT. Each year I tried harder than the one before, but each Christmas only brought disappointment.

The Christmas of 1984 was my last hope. Return of the Jedi had been released the year before and soon there would be no more AT-AT’s on the toy shelves.

Christmas morning I awoke early and rushed to wake my parents. The living room bore the unmistakable mark of Santa. And under the tree I saw a package for me that looked large enough to be the AT-AT that I longed for. I broke my rule of energy conservation and sprinted to the tree. As the first pieces of wrapping paper started to come off I spotted what was clearly a Star Wars box. Finally Santa had come through. But as more and more wrapping paper was removed my joy turned to sorrow and then to rage.

The Ewok Village! What was this crap? That son of a bitch Santa brought me the Ewok village.

Incredible anger and uncontrollable insanity coursed through my young body, as I felt the dark side take over. I threw the village against the wall with complete disregard to the tiny furry inhabitants who resided there. My small hands clenched into fist, and I shook them in the air. Looking up towards the sky I cried out “SANTA! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?”

15 years later I once again found myself in Toys-R-Us. I don’t know what made me go there that day. But looking back I believe it was the Force. I happened to stumble upon the Star Wars section. Memories from my childhood came back as I looked down to the far side of the aisle. Suddenly I saw a familiar box. Could it be? After all this time had Kenner decided to make another AT-AT?

As I ran pushing small children out of the way, I was no longer the 22 year old man that I had been when I entered the store. I was 3 again. I reached the AT-AT, clutched it in my arms and fell to the ground. My eyes swelled up with tears. As I lay there hugging this box of happiness a single tear escaped from my eye, and fell to the floor.

Santa had not forsaken me. It was I who had forsaken Santa.

-----

For those who missed the first four introspectives, here they are in order.

Star Wars & America

I peed on Spider-Man

Energy Camel

My shoes were hostages



I have a dream

Win, Lose, Or Draw.

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:23:56 AM EST
I'm gonna go sit in the corner and rock back and fourth now.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:27:06 AM EST

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:27:43 AM EST
Be careful - that new toy might be a trap!


Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:29:27 AM EST
That was truly good. Reminded me of one of my favorite movies "A CHristmas Story". Wedge keeps getting better and better. For some of us, your work is better and more inspired than the action-figure work of the esteemed Sgtar15.

Keep it up.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:29:36 AM EST
Pop it in the thermal exhaust port, post pics!
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:30:17 AM EST


You fucking make my work day.

Sad but somewhat true.

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:30:27 AM EST
I was into Star Wars, but not that into it.

If it makes you feel any better about your broken childhood, I myself always wanted an AT-AT, and never got one. Best thing my family could muster was an AT-ST.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:30:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By JCKnife:
Pop it in the thermal exhaust port, post pics!




Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:33:42 AM EST
All I ever got was the Hoth Ice Planet Adventure Set:

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:33:55 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 5:40:14 AM EST by tszipper]
Touching, but yet very disturbing at the same time!

Poor Ewok village!


I for see several Star Wars (Sgtar) productions spinning off of this one post.
Should have use the Jedi mind trick on your parents. It worked for me.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:34:05 AM EST

Originally Posted By Gunbert:
I was into Star Wars, but not that into it.

If it makes you feel any better about your broken childhood, I myself always wanted an AT-AT, and never got one. Best thing my family could muster was an AT-ST.



I know that pain as well. I too received an AT-ST.

For those that don't know getting an AT-ST when you want an AT-AT is like receiving an mini-14 when you expected an AR-15.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:35:18 AM EST
falcon


must have the millenium falcon


Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:36:00 AM EST
The update on that story is that I finally did get a original AT-AT with a Empire Strikes back box. It cost me an arm and a leg, but my very own AT-AT now stands proudly next to my computer.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:38:58 AM EST
I understand completely. I was fortunate enough to get an AT-AT for christmas, and after that I was the most popular kid in the neighborhood. I took it everywhere, like a pet dog.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:40:55 AM EST
My parents bought me a snow speeder AND an AT-AT for Christmas after Empire came out.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 5:47:24 AM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
That was truly good. Reminded me of one of my favorite movies "A CHristmas Story". Wedge keeps getting better and better. For some of us, your work is better and more inspired than the action-figure work of the esteemed Sgtar15.

Keep it up.



I don't think I would go that far.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:01:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
The update on that story is that I finally did get a original AT-AT with a Empire Strikes back box. It cost me an arm and a leg, but my very own AT-AT now stands proudly next to my computer.



Got pictures?

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:04:29 AM EST
That's an awesome story - and I could read it without being disturbed (unlike the spider-man story).

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:14:45 AM EST

Originally Posted By SkiandShoot:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
The update on that story is that I finally did get a original AT-AT with a Empire Strikes back box. It cost me an arm and a leg, but my very own AT-AT now stands proudly next to my computer.



Got pictures?




When I go home at lunch I shall take a pic. If you are lucky you will be able to make out my Buddy Christ dashboard figure at the feet of the AT-AT.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:23:21 AM EST
These aren't the AT-AT's you're looking for.
You can go about your business.
Move along.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:29:01 AM EST


The Force is strong in this one.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 6:38:09 AM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:
All I ever got was the Hoth Ice Planet Adventure Set:

cargobay.starwars.com/toys/playsets/vintage/sets/t_ps_vin_hoth_ice_planet.jpg



I had this cardboard AT-AT then a year or so later got the real deal. I promptly torched the real one in an attempt at realism. You know, make it look like it had blast marks from the snow speeders... YEA, parents didn't find that too cool. Of course I burned or blew up most of my Star Wars and GI Joe toys...

I'm over the Pyro stage now. As far as you know!


Oh yea and great prose wedge1082!
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:19:49 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 7:21:09 AM EST by 223-Buckaroo]
I too desperately wanted an AT-AT and never got one. I had to make do with the crappy cardboard Hoth Adventure Set.



Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:28:03 AM EST
i had two brothers,,,
one got the x-wing,,i was soooo pissed,, the other..ahh screw it,, all said and done we pretty much got every toy they had,, except for the big tank thos elil druids had.... and yes we had the faggy ewok villiage,, and my gi-joes would inavde it and BBQ them lil sukers,,, and yes we got into """MOM protus cant do that its not fair,,,""" fights!! i mean,,whats wrong with the at-at crushing lil e-woks,,, or sending a wounded hans solo on a kamakzi mission to take out the at-at..... while luke and the other get away???
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:30:43 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:38:35 AM EST
Hehe, you guys are poor--I got an AT-AT, I was probably about 8 though. I was awesome--battery operated cannons that moved and lit up. Looked like a small dog when sitting in the room. Many a Hoth reenactment was played out with my friends and our snowspeeders (the factory tow cables were too short, we had to make longer ones ourselves).

Still in some box in the loft of the barn, stored away and forgotten, but oh the memories. Thanks for taking me back to a simpler time.


Man, Kenner had the damn marketing and merchandising down to a near perfect science.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:46:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
The update on that story is that I finally did get a original AT-AT with a Empire Strikes back box. It cost me an arm and a leg, but my very own AT-AT now stands proudly next to my computer.



and you're not even trying to blame it on the baby!!!!! The real reason we have kids is so that we can get them all the toys we weren't allowed to have when we were kids.........

then we kick the kid into the corner while WE play with the toys.

In my house Santa always puts the toys together before leaving them - I think that's so that he can be the first to play with them.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:49:58 AM EST
Dude, all I ever had was an X-wing and that was only because my rich aunt bought me one for Christmas. You should have grown up having to use just action figures and 1 X-wing to kill your sisters' barbie dolls. I did have three Boba Fetts and in my book they were worth a whole legion of stormtroopers.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:52:22 AM EST
What a goofy story.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:53:00 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:

Originally Posted By Gunbert:
I was into Star Wars, but not that into it.

If it makes you feel any better about your broken childhood, I myself always wanted an AT-AT, and never got one. Best thing my family could muster was an AT-ST.



I know that pain as well. I too received an AT-ST.

For those that don't know getting an AT-ST when you want an AT-AT is like receiving an mini-14 when you expected an AR-15.




Same.

I'm crying a little right now.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:53:32 AM EST
Waiting for pix of said AT-AT
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 7:57:47 AM EST

Originally Posted By RealFastV6:
Waiting for pix of said AT-AT



Me too!!!!! I wanted an AT-AT and never got one. AT-AT was the end-all-be-all Star Wars toy. I had two Chicken Walkers (AT-ST's) and they were garbage. One year I did get Cobra Commanders base from the GI-Joe series of toys. That thing was awesome!
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 8:54:23 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 9:25:05 AM EST by AR-15Fan]
I was lucky enough to get a AT-AT for christmas myself back then, and it was indeed the coolest toy I ever had. I had so many great mock battles with that badboy. It even crossed genres with ease, I remember well playing with it both starwars and GIJoe figures. It was a thing of beauty, and I still have that badboy. Unfortunately I am missing the little fiber optic underchin cannon things, they were always falling off...

My sob story is that I never got what was in my eyes, the ultimate spacecraft, the Millennium Falcon. I've wanted one bad enough to ponder tracking down an original and spending silly amounts of money on it, or buying the new version they came out with not too long ago. And you bet your ass I'd still play with the damn thing, complete with making sound effects (it had the coolest ship sound effects ever BTW...) as I flew it around my damn house too...


Your story prompted me to go dig out my ATAT in the basement. Here it is in all it's glory:

Mind you this is the real toy, bought back in the day, that brought he 100s if not 1000s of hours of joy, damn, thinking about this badboy brings a tear to my eye, lol... You can also see Bobafetts ship, my TIE fighter. And out of frame is my Empirial Shuttle, the toy that much like your Ewok Village was the consolation gift in place of the Millennium Falcon that I would never get. My parents got it for $5 at a Sears Surplus store way back then... That is a DAMN POOR SUBSTITUTE for the glorious Millennium Falcon, lol, yep I guess we were spoiled lol... These are the only 4 toys that survived from my StarWars collection. I also had the Ice Fort playset thing, a Xwing, a Snow Speeder, and a mountain of figures and small set pieces (like the radar looking cannon things from Hoth, the scout bike speeder things from ROTJ, etc). Oh and I also had a AT-ST that a good friend of mine broke not long after I got it, snapped the damn leg off, unlike you guys I loved that little sucker too, so cool... Ahh the good ole days.

And one of my other favorite StarWars item wasn't so much a toy as a model I guess. It was the minature Hoth playset, with like 3 inch tall AT-ATs (and one destoyed laying down) along with a bunch of tiny plastic troops for both sides, and a half dozen snow speeders or so all with a plastic Hoth landscape around 2 feet long and a foot wide, had AT-AT footprints and stuff and trenches for the troops. I loved playing with those things, I actually saw they started making those a few years ago again, Walmart had one. My younger brother bought one, guess it's been 3 years or so now, and boy did it bring back memories. I had to have a mock battle with it while no one was looking...
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:18:18 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 9:19:05 AM EST by Boom_Stick]
We coulden't afford the AT-AT so I got an AT-ST instead. I wish I hadn't goteen rid of all my starwars stuff. Think I'll make a trip to the toy store today......
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:36:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By Aimless:

Originally Posted By DK-Prof:
That's an awesome story - and I could read it without being disturbed (unlike the spider-man story).




That was pretty good, I was going to go back and read the other ones, but maybe I'll skip over the Spider-Man one.



Spider-Man was not as disturbing as some would let on.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:39:10 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 9:43:28 AM EST by ar50troll]
At At scout kicks ass all over AT AT

And that's no trap!!!


Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:42:18 AM EST

Originally Posted By RealFastV6:
Waiting for pix of said AT-AT



I forgot my camera at work so I could not take a pic at home when I was at home for lunch. I will take it tonight and post either tonight, or tomorrow morning. Sorry.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:47:54 AM EST

Originally Posted By AR-15Fan:
Oh and I also had a AT-ST that a good friend of mine broke not long after I got it, snapped the damn leg off, unlike you guys I loved that little sucker too, so cool... Ahh the good ole days.



Don't get me wrong I love my AT-ST, but it is no AT-AT. Cool Slave 1 in the pic. I have that one plus two others that are new (all different versions).

Although it is difficult to tell from my posts, Boba Fett has always been my favorite. Bounty hunters kick ass. I remember how disappointed I was when I got my Boba Fett as a kid and the jet pack did not fire a missile, like it had been advertised to.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:49:37 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 9:53:41 AM EST by Zaphod]
Wedge............ seek help!

That said, I still have my AT-AT...
and my AT-ST...
and my Sandcrawler...
and my X-Wing...
and my TIE Fighters (both the regular and Darth Vader ones)....
and my Snowspeeder...
and my Hoth Trench playset...
and my Dagobah Playset...
and my Darth Vader action figure case...
and my Rebel Transport...

and a few others I don't remember!



When you fnd that place to get help, let me know so I can sign up, too!

ETA: Slave 1, Hoth Turret Playset.....
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:51:35 AM EST




You owe me a new keyboard, asshole!

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:55:51 AM EST

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
www.ketzer.com/starwars/free_atats.jpg



You owe me a new keyboard, asshole!




I like the one that is taking a piss on the tree.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 9:58:41 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
www.ketzer.com/starwars/free_atats.jpg



You owe me a new keyboard, asshole!




I like the one that is taking a piss on the tree.



I want to know where the babies came from!

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 10:05:13 AM EST

Originally Posted By Zaphod:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:

Originally Posted By Zaphod:
www.ketzer.com/starwars/free_atats.jpg

hole!
hr


I like the one that is taking a piss on the tree.



I want to know where the babies came from!

hr


The top right hand corner of the picture will explain the baby situation for you.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 10:21:06 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/17/2004 10:35:31 AM EST by Mauser101]
Man was I a goober as a kid. I have an older brother who every christmas filled out his list exclusively with Star Wars toys. He had it all. AT-AT, AT-ST, Ewok Faglige, Slave 1, TONS of figures, the Hoth Base + Ion Cannon, some weird thing that was supposed to be the interior of the Star Destoryer, Millenium Falcon, TIE Fighter...the list really just goes on and on. He even started getting the lil' die cast mini sets when they started coming out.

Myself...like a stupid 3 year old when Empire came out, liked He-Man. Yeah, that's right. Overmuscled men in underwear. I had them all, even had Skeletor's Castle. What a waste of a childhood.

If I do it all over again I'd want to get the Rebel Transport ship. For some reason I always liked those elongated clam looking things. I would also have spent more christmas's asking for more Robotech toys. To date I yearn for an SDF-1.

Also wish I'd taken better care of my Transformer's Robotech ripoff toy...Jetfire. It was fully transformable to all 3 modes and was my pride and joy...which ment that I detroyed that thing in well less than a year.

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 10:28:15 AM EST
Since you're such a fanatic I thought I'd dig up some of the old toys. (I'm really just looking for an excuse not to clean the gutters)

Link Posted: 9/17/2004 10:36:04 AM EST
Hmmm, there are quite a few more people here who still harbor some AT-AT love than I would have first guessed.

Not much of a surprise though, I think every boy who lived through Star Wars wanted one.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 10:55:05 AM EST

The Ewok Village! What was this crap? That son of a bitch Santa brought me the Ewok village.


LOL! That's my new sig.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 11:00:25 AM EST
Thats a nice story, you write well!

I didnt get any of them. I got a stormtrooper, Luke, Darthvader and R2D2. No ships or vehicles! So I made a sling shot with this nice tree branch that fell in a storm and an old innertube. The next time my friends and I were playing, I whipped it out and started pelting their vehicles and characters with the sling shot. Hmmm, I went home with a millenium falcon and no sling shot. Nice trade if you ask me!
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 11:13:07 AM EST
I just read all of your introspectives, and I want to thank you for making my day and inspiring a trip to the toy store. I never got G.I. Joes as a child because "girls don't play with those..." You think an Ewok village instead of an AT-AT is disappointing, try getting a collectible Barbie doll instead of a G.I. Joe.
Link Posted: 9/17/2004 11:18:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By cat_aclysm:
I just read all of your introspectives, and I want to thank you for making my day and inspiring a trip to the toy store. I never got G.I. Joes as a child because "girls don't play with those..." You think an Ewok village instead of an AT-AT is disappointing, try getting a collectible Barbie doll instead of a G.I. Joe.



Thank you. If nothing else, I hope that this introspective will inspire all parents to buy their children that special toy that you know they want. Don't let what happened to me happen to your children.

The only other toy that I can recall really wanting that I did not get was the G.I. Joe aircraft carrier. But I can understand that one, that thing was huge.
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