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Posted: 9/15/2004 4:42:46 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 10:02:48 AM EST by wedge1082]
My whole life I have been mislabeled as being lazy. As a youth my own mother even gave me the nickname of sloth-man. What all these people don’t know, and what they could never bring themselves to understand, is that I have a power.

I am an energy camel.

Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use. I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility.

In my childhood my parents tried in vain to involve me in activities. I was in karate for two weeks, the boy scouts for a month, football for two seasons, etc. In all these and more, I was forced to participate. And my energy conservation took the brunt of the damage. Determined to correct the situation I set out to look for ways to still maintain my energy conservation lifestyle.

When forced to play soccer I discovered that skipping required less energy than running. I can recall many a game as I skipped after the pack of children who had the ball the reaction of my father. He never understood my energy conservation, and in vain would yell from the sidelines “STOP SKIPPING! STOP SKIPPING!”.

During baseball season, I like most other “lazy” players spent the majority of my time in the outfield. There I could mostly be left alone to pursue picking daisies and sitting down. But one thing bothered me. After the inning was over I was forced to skip all the way to the dugout. On one such trip into the dugout I skipped past third base, and a solution entered my head. I quickly reversed my energy conservation and worked hard to achieve the position of third base. Then the day came when I would play my first game at third. After the game I made the comment to my parents “I really like playing third base.” I shall never forget the look of joy that came across their faces. They must have thought “At last he is taking to the sport.” That look changed to one of disappoint as I proudly proclaimed “It is so close to the dugout when we are the home team. I mean it’s only like ten feet away.”

Am I a superhero? No. But in times of danger I can take off with blinding speed and extract myself from the situation with the strength of ten men, and the agility of a cat. But the downside in using so much energy is that I can be found a mere block away, collapsed with exhaustion, and struggling for breath.

This is my power.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:45:46 AM EST
skipping=gay.


But I am willing to bet you'rew to lazy to come out of the closet.


Sgatr15
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:48:21 AM EST
Star Wars Trillogy on DVD September 21st.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:50:32 AM EST
hehe
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:51:32 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:55:52 AM EST
I'll write about my Superpower someday, when I remember what it is.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:58:15 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
skipping=gay.


But I am willing to bet you'rew to lazy to come out of the closet.


Sgatr15



That's energy conservation, not lazy.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 4:59:36 AM EST
IT'S A TRAP!
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:02:11 AM EST
Dog pile. What kind of term is that? Has anyone really piled it on a dog?

Energy conservatonalist = focus.


(golf clap)
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:11:52 AM EST
Your best installment yet, Wedge.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:17:25 AM EST

Originally Posted By Palo_Duro:
Dog pile. What kind of term is that? Has anyone really piled it on a dog?

Energy conservatonalist = focus.


(golf clap)



I like it. I like it a lot. I shall add this to my forum title.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:19:35 AM EST
Well done Mr. Antilles!

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:49:43 AM EST

Originally Posted By BayEagle:
Well done Mr. Antilles!

www.ludd.luth.se/users/kerberos/sci-fi/starwars/char/rebel/other/wedge/wedge-21.jpg



Thank you. But, I am just a guy telling embellished stories of my life.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 5:57:22 AM EST

Originally Posted By POWER03:
Your best installment yet, Wedge.



Better than when I peed on Spider-Man?
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:19:29 AM EST

Originally Posted By sgtar15:
skipping=gay.


action figure=doll
kettle=pot
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:22:16 AM EST


You are a freak!

What do you do for a living as you are an excellent writer.

Were you the fat kid that nobody picked on their teams in school?

Keep em coming though.

btw, is this a trap?

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 6:51:57 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 6:52:23 AM EST by wedge1082]

Originally Posted By SkiandShoot:

You are a freak! Thank you... I think.

What do you do for a living as you are an excellent writer. Mechanical Engineering

Were you the fat kid that nobody picked on their teams in school? More like class clown, who never pushed it so far as to get into trouble.

Keep em coming though. Look for tomorrow's installment, and spread the word.

btw, is this a trap? I can not disclose that information.

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 9:35:05 AM EST
How would everyone feel if I broke with the poll and went with "my shoes were hostages" instead of "a boy and his AT-AT"? I promise to do the AT-AT introspective at a later date.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 9:45:43 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/15/2004 9:46:13 AM EST by cnatra]

These posts are very entertaining, just one question though:

Where do you buy the drugs your taking ?

Link Posted: 9/15/2004 10:03:35 AM EST

Originally Posted By cnatra:
These posts are very entertaining, just one question though:

Where do you buy the drugs your taking ?




Purple pills, from this guy on the corner.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:02:25 AM EST
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:10:39 AM EST

Originally Posted By samsi:
I'll write about my Superpower someday, when I remember what it is.



I'm betting that it's not super-human mental recall.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:14:17 AM EST

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use. I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility.



I believe Mrs. Wedge will attest to the brief part.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 11:24:08 AM EST

Originally Posted By motown_steve:

Originally Posted By wedge1082:
Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use. I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility.



I believe Mrs. Wedge will attest to the brief part.



Don't forget the strength and agility part.
Link Posted: 9/15/2004 2:27:31 PM EST
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 6:52:31 AM EST
Lazyness is the REAL mother of invention.

I give you the:
microwave
remote control
heated vibrating recliner with built in cold beverage storage

Link Posted: 9/16/2004 7:35:40 AM EST
[Last Edit: 9/16/2004 7:37:42 AM EST by scrum]
Skipping? Apologise to your poor father and go to the doc for some testosterone augmentation therapy.
Link Posted: 9/16/2004 10:12:44 AM EST

Originally Posted By Persephone:
Lazyness is the REAL mother of invention.

I give you the:
microwave
remote control
heated vibrating recliner with built in cold beverage storage




Then you see where I am coming from.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 3:54:21 AM EST
I'm intrigued

Link Posted: 10/21/2004 4:04:43 AM EST
Wedge, perhaps you'd be interested in a position on the Board of Directors of my fledgling foundation: The Calorie Conservation Corps. We plan to publish a treatise within the coming months and are looking to put forth several candidates for public office beginning in 2006. Given your stated goals and philosophy, I think you'll be a welcome addition to our organization.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 4:08:10 AM EST

Originally Posted By kill-9:
Wedge, perhaps you'd be interested in a position on the Board of Directors of my fledgling foundation: The Calorie Conservation Corps. We plan to publish a treatise within the coming months and are looking to put forth several candidates for public office beginning in 2006. Given your stated goals and philosophy, I think you'll be a welcome addition to our organization.



That sounds interesting... I will have to check with BlammO first. He is the adviser on personal energy conservation to my administration. It may take a while to contact him, because he takes his job very seriously, even to the point of not wasting energy on taking phone calls.
Link Posted: 10/21/2004 4:11:26 AM EST
U know why im doing engineering?

You learn how to do stuff the most efficient way, using the least amount of energy, etc.

Im not really an energy camel, just a lazy bastard
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