My whole life I have been mislabeled as being lazy.  As a youth my own mother even gave me the nickname of sloth-man.  What all these people don’t know, and what they could never bring themselves to understand, is that I have a power.  

I am an energy camel.

Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use.  I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility.

In my childhood my parents tried in vain to involve me in activities.  I was in karate for two weeks, the boy scouts for a month, football for two seasons, etc.  In all these and more, I was forced to participate.  And my energy conservation took the brunt of the damage.  Determined to correct the situation I set out to look for ways to still maintain my energy conservation lifestyle.

When forced to play soccer I discovered that skipping required less energy than running.  I can recall many a game as I skipped after the pack of children who had the ball the reaction of my father.  He never understood my energy conservation, and in vain would yell from the sidelines “STOP SKIPPING!  STOP SKIPPING!”.

During baseball season, I like most other “lazy” players spent the majority of my time in the outfield.  There I could mostly be left alone to pursue picking daisies and sitting down.  But one thing bothered me.  After the inning was over I was forced to skip all the way to the dugout.  On one such trip into the dugout I skipped past third base, and a solution entered my head.  I quickly reversed my energy conservation and worked hard to achieve the position of third base.  Then the day came when I would play my first game at third.  After the game I made the comment to my parents “I really like playing third base.”  I shall never forget the look of joy that came across their faces.  They must have thought “At last he is taking to the sport.”  That look changed to one of disappoint as I proudly proclaimed “It is so close to the dugout when we are the home team.  I mean it’s only like ten feet away.”

Am I a superhero?  No.  But in times of danger I can take off with blinding speed and extract myself from the situation with the strength of ten men, and the agility of a cat.  But the downside in using so much energy is that I can be found a mere block away, collapsed with exhaustion, and struggling for breath.

This is my power.

skipping=gay.


But I am willing to bet you'rew to lazy to come out of the closet.


Sgatr15

Star Wars Trillogy on DVD September 21st.

hehe

I'll write about my Superpower someday, when I remember what it is.

Quoted: skipping=gay. But I am willing to bet you'rew to lazy to come out of the closet. Sgatr15

That's energy conservation, not lazy.

IT'S A TRAP!

Dog pile.  What kind of term is that?  Has anyone really piled it on a dog?

Energy conservatonalist = focus.


(golf clap)

Your best installment yet, Wedge.

Quoted: Dog pile.  What kind of term is that?  Has anyone really piled it on a dog? Energy conservatonalist = focus. (golf clap)

I like it.  I like it a lot.  I shall add this to my forum title.

Well done Mr. Antilles!

Quoted: Well done Mr. Antilles! www.ludd.luth.se/users/kerberos/sci-fi/starwars/char/rebel/other/wedge/wedge-21.jpg

Thank you.  But, I am just a guy telling embellished stories of my life.

Quoted: Your best installment yet, Wedge.

Better than when I peed on Spider-Man?

Quoted: skipping=gay.

action figure=doll
kettle=pot

You are a freak!

What do you do for a living as you are an excellent writer.

Were you the fat kid that nobody picked on their teams in school?

Keep em coming though.

btw, is this a trap?

Quoted: You are a freak!  Thank you... I think. What do you do for a living as you are an excellent writer.  Mechanical Engineering Were you the fat kid that nobody picked on their teams in school?  More like class clown, who never pushed it so far as to get into trouble. Keep em coming though.   Look for tomorrow's installment, and spread the word. btw, is this a trap?  I can not disclose that information.

How would everyone feel if I broke with the poll and went with "my shoes were hostages" instead of "a boy and his AT-AT"?  I promise to do the AT-AT introspective at a later date.

These posts are very entertaining, just one question though:

Where do you buy the drugs your taking ?

Quoted: These posts are very entertaining, just one question though: Where do you buy the drugs your taking ?

Purple pills, from this guy on the corner.

Quoted: I'll write about my Superpower someday, when I remember what it is.

I'm betting that it's not super-human mental recall.

Quoted: Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use.  I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility.

I believe Mrs. Wedge will attest to the brief part.

Quoted: Quoted: Much like a camel drinks water and stores it for future use.  I too conserve energy and can unleash it in an incredible (but brief) burst of speed, strength, and agility. I believe Mrs. Wedge will attest to the brief part.

Don't forget the strength and agility part.

Lazyness is the REAL mother of invention.

I give you the:
microwave
remote control
heated vibrating recliner with built in cold beverage storage

Skipping?  Apologise to your poor father and go to the doc for some testosterone augmentation therapy.

Quoted: Lazyness is the REAL mother of invention. I give you the: microwave remote control heated vibrating recliner with built in cold beverage storage

Then you see where I am coming from.

I'm intrigued

Wedge, perhaps you'd be interested in a position on the Board of Directors of my fledgling foundation:  The Calorie Conservation Corps.  We plan to publish a treatise within the coming months and are looking to put forth several candidates for public office beginning in 2006.  Given your stated goals and philosophy, I think you'll be a welcome addition to our organization.

Quoted: Wedge, perhaps you'd be interested in a position on the Board of Directors of my fledgling foundation:  The Calorie Conservation Corps.  We plan to publish a treatise within the coming months and are looking to put forth several candidates for public office beginning in 2006.  Given your stated goals and philosophy, I think you'll be a welcome addition to our organization.

That sounds interesting... I will have to check with BlammO first.  He is the adviser on personal energy conservation to my administration.  It may take a while to contact him, because he takes his job very seriously, even to the point of not wasting energy on taking phone calls.

U know why im doing engineering?

You learn how to do stuff the most efficient way, using the least amount of energy, etc.

Im not really an energy camel, just a lazy bastard