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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:21:46 AM EDT
I explained to my nephew what summer teeth are..... Not the proper way as in "She got sum her teeth" no as in it's important summer maintenance of teeth.
Like kangaroos that lick their forearms to cool off by cooling blood, we have the enamel thinned on our teeth every April, so the blood vessels in our teeth can be closer to the surface, therefore when we smile it cools us off..... I ended up explaining winter teeth as the opposite...... 
Kids 4 years old.... I also explained that the windmills in CA are giant propellers that keep CA attached to the US.... I'm going to hell...... 
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:22:15 AM EDT
[#1]
Yes. Next question.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:26:37 AM EDT
[#2]
Thats funny op
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:30:10 AM EDT
[#3]
We are all bad.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:37:11 AM EDT
[#4]
told my four year old that the thousand stakes in the tomatoe field were young telephone poles , only about a month old...now at 37 he double checks everything I say...
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:51:41 AM EDT
[#5]
Tell them that if you are on the west coast, and look really hard out to sea, you can see Hawaii.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 11:54:46 AM EDT
[#6]
Fucking West Virginia.... Enjoy those teeth while ya got em.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:06:50 PM EDT
[#7]
I got a coworker last summer after buying my Pop's 2009 Honda Fit. He asked me where it came from,
and I said that it belonged to my father, before he..... you know. "Oh, man... I'm so sorry." I gave him an incredulous look, and said, "Before he bought a new car! What the hell were you thinking?!?" 
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:14:11 PM EDT
[#8]
At Thanksgiving one of my oldster aunts was looking out the window.
My dad says, Oh, look at the deer! She's like, where? Out there between those trees Oh.....I see it now......It's pretty! My sister: I don't see a...oh, I see it. It's hard to miss Auntie, still searching but pretending she sees it: "Is it still there?" Yeah auntie, it's still there She was looking for quite some time. There was a John Deere track loader parked out there.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:37:12 PM EDT
[#9]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
At Thanksgiving one of my oldster aunts was looking out the window. My dad says, Oh, look at the deer! She's like, where? Out there between those trees Oh.....I see it now......It's pretty! My sister: I don't see a...oh, I see it. It's hard to miss Auntie, still searching but pretending she sees it: "Is it still there?" Yeah auntie, it's still there She was looking for quite some time. There was a John Deere track loader parked out there. |
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:46:20 PM EDT
[#10]
I explained to my coworker that alternating current referrer to an oscillating fan, and direct current referred to a fan that didn't oscillate.
She was 27 at the time and now works in education. |
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:47:51 PM EDT
[#11]
Lying grossly and profusely to youngins is a necessary rite, to help them learn to distinguish bullshit from not-bullshit.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:49:50 PM EDT
[#12]
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:49:55 PM EDT
[#13]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
told my four year old that the thousand stakes in the tomatoe field were young telephone poles , only about a month old...now at 37 he double checks everything I say... |
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Posted: 4/16/2017 12:58:50 PM EDT
[#14]
 Shit & Shinola |
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Posted: 4/16/2017 1:00:38 PM EDT
[#15]
Probably, but I'd love to have a beer with you.
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Posted: 4/16/2017 3:24:24 PM EDT
[#16]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Lying grossly and profusely to youngins is a necessary rite, to help them learn to distinguish bullshit from not-bullshit. |
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Posted: 4/16/2017 3:25:39 PM EDT
[#17]
Quote HistoryQuoted:
Dan? |
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